Destiny is Dead
by Groulien
Summary: Merlin had always protected Arthur and the people of Camelot. He would give his life if need be. But then the unforseenable happens, conflict occurs, wrong decisions are made and Merlin's heart is no longer in his destiny. Destiny is dead. Merlin/Morgana Arthur/Gwen Warning: Foul language, Evil!Merlin, Emotional Whump, Character Death
1. Hunting, bloody hunting

**AN:**

This story features Evil!Merlin (far worse than Dark!Merlin), Torture, Mergana and character death.

Be warned, this story has a very slow start.

**Chapter 1: Hunting, bloody hunting. **

It was Merlin's least favourite activity apart from mucking out the stables, hunting. Problem was, of course, that none of the knights seemed to agree. The manservant had said that hunting was dangerous but not because of the beasts that roamed the forest. Merlin meant that the King of Camelot had a price on his head which no one seemed to have noticed. Morgana was still out there and who knows how many other vengeful sorcerers. Mary Collins, Nimueh, Sophia, Edwin, those were the ones that dare come to Camelot. Not everyone amongst the druids would be as 'peaceful' as some made them out to be. Oh, and then there was the abundance of bandits that never seemed to stop harassing innocent villages and caravans.

Arthur's voice brought the warlock back to the world.  
"Sorry?" He asked.  
The King sighed, clearly agitated, and replied "Make a wide circle and scare them this way."  
"I still think this is a bad idea." Grumbled Merlin.  
"I've got a brilliant idea! When we get back you can muck out the stables!" Arthur exclaimed in exaggerated joy.  
Before doing as he was told, Merlin let his head hang and sighed "Yes, Sire."

Obscured by the bushes, Merlin needed to vent his anger.  
"Polish my armour, muck out the stables, scare the animals, where is my bath..." He muttered and didn't actually look at where he was going.  
The manservant did not hear the footsteps that weren't his own. He was far too distracted with voicing his anger for once. As one last taunt towards his royal pratness, he put on a ludicrously high pitched voice "I'm not fat, I'm fighting fit!"  
Someone was laughing and turning around he saw Morgana leaning against a tree.  
His heart fluttered. He wasn't as enamoured by her looks as he used to be but hearing her laugh was something he had grown very fond of. There wasn't the murder in her eyes he was slowly becoming accustomed to.  
"Things never change, do they?" She smirked as she came closer to him.  
"Arthur is... around, I think." He tried to sound confident and defying in the hope that she would beat down the feelings that still coursed through his veins.  
"Surrounded by Knights, no doubt." Morgana raised an eyebrow in  
"If only you had an army." He mocked her and a sudden force shot through his cheek, pain following swiftly  
"Don't test me." She'd slapped him!  
When had Morgana gotten so physical? Her failed attempts at taking the throne of Camelot might've been one of the reasons. It also seemed that every time she was about to kill someone such as him or Arthur, she liked to drag it out. His chain of thought was interrupted by a voice shouting in the distance, a man's voice shouting a name, his name. There wasn't a single thought in his mind that it wasn't Arthur but before the warlock could utter a word, Morgana's cold hand was on his mouth and a dagger was close to his manhood. It was a little something Morgana had worked out over time. Men were far more attached to their manhood than their lives. Her smile mocked the fear in his eyes.

One thought remained in the warlock's mind. Why was he still alive?  
What pained him was that he could hear the horses pass them by and his fate was in Morgana's hands once more. She took him back to her home, her hovel, but on the way there she too had a thought she couldn't shake. She'd let him lead the way and it unnerved her to see that he _knew_ where he was going. She didn't have to correct him at all.

Halfway there, she made him stop. He seemed confused at her tactics or whatever else she was doing.  
_"Good, confused is good." _She thought.  
Merlin did not voice his confusion. He was in no hurry to be tortured again.  
"I've been on my feet all day." She clarified though it was a complete lie.  
The manservant sat down against a tree. She followed his example and sat opposite of him so she could not only watch him but study him as well.  
What made him so bloody loyal to Arthur? The prat was out hunting again and sent his servant further into the forest, alone. How stupid was he? Better put, which of the two was more stupid? Arthur for commanding him or Merlin for following it?

The crunching sound of leaves being stepped on pulled Morgana from her thoughts.  
At first she thought they were Arthur's men but there were just two of them and only one of them was a real man, the other merely child. They weren't soldiers but travellers or, just maybe, smugglers but that didn't seem likely judging by the state of their clothes.  
The witch stood up and glared at Merlin to warn him in case he would do something stupid. Morgana's eyes were not unkind to the travellers but rather curious, not may passed through her little part of the forest.  
The two came face to face with her. Merlin eyes the man and what he presumed to be his young daughter. The man was a bit scrawny but the child, a young girl, was skin and bones.  
"Greetings. Could you, ehm… perhaps you could tell me where I might… ehm." The man stumbled over his words.  
The man was rather hesitant to ask her but she thought he was asking for directions.

Morgana squatted and with sad eyes looked at the girl before standing back up.  
"She has magic, doesn't she?" Morgana asked sympathetically. The man merely averted his eyes in some sort of shame. "The druids are that way." She pointed west of where they were.  
"Thank you." He exhaled his held breath.  
Morgana went back to her spot and took a small pouch from her bag. "These are edible mushrooms. You look like you need them more than I do." She handed it over.  
"Bless you." The man now smiled at her and took the path shown to them by the witch.

Morgana noticed that Merlin's face just got a whole lot more interesting. It never occurred to him that 'the wicked witch' still had a kind heart and surprise and wonder were all over his face.  
"I'm not heartless, Merlin. I can still be kind when I want to." She said casually.  
"You mean when it suits you." He taunted her.  
She looked down on him with a smirk that said she was up to something. A lot of things had crossed her mind. A tiny bit of torture as an appetizer before the main course, a mocking retort, an insightful insult, so many things to choose from and she picked something else. If she was right about him and their past, then this would mess him up for quite a while.

She kneeled besides him and Merlin shifted uneasily. Her lips moved close to his ear, her breath taunting yet pleasant warmth.  
In a playful tone she whispered, almost moaned "I can be _very_ kind, Merlin."  
Of course this kind of seduction did not affect him much. It was an act and even in a sultry voice the words meant nothing. When she backed away she gave him a peck on the cheek, the very same she slapped earlier. This unnerved him completely. He thought she found him revolting. She would never touch him, _the traitor_, let alone put her lips on him. Yet in the past he had often wondered how her lips felt, how soft they would be against his rather than his cheek.

Arthur's voice could be heard in the distance once more and this time they'd gone off the path and into the forest.  
Morgana stood up and took one last look at the bewildered manservant.  
"There!" The King was close by and Merlin looked at her with an inner conflict still raging.  
"Think about it." She said as her eyes glowed gold and all the leaves flew up from the ground to obscure her like fog would.  
She was gone before the leaves return to the soil from which they came. The manservant couldn't care less about the leaves, Arthur or her disappearance. His mind was still trying to make sense of her word.  
_Think about it?_ She had made him an offer but it felt impossible to tell what it was. Did it have anything to do with the peck on the cheek or was it merely her kindness she offered him? Was this how she made her spies? With promises of _kindness_?

"Merlin!" The King's hand on his shoulder made him snap back to reality.  
"Sire." He greeted Arthur as he got back on his feet.  
"Are you hurt?" He repeated the question and Merlin shook his head in denial.

They went home after that and Arthur came by the physician's chambers later that evening with Gwen. Gaius was out for reasons unknown to them and opening the door to his ward's chambers, they saw he was sleeping.  
"He's a child, really." Arthur joked as Gwen slowly and carefully made her way over to her bed.  
"Sleep well, Merlin." She said and gave him a soft peck on the cheek.  
Arthur stifled a laugh as she made her way back.  
"You're not his mother." He joked.

Then they heard the clumsy boy whisper the name of the accursed witch. They looked at the boy and expected him to be tossing and turning from a nightmare. Only when they looked, he was smiling.


	2. A riddle wrapped in a mystery

**A riddle wrapped in a mystery**

_Then they heard the clumsy boy whisper the name of the accursed witch. They looked at the boy and expected him to be tossing and turning from a nightmare. Only when they looked, he was smiling._

Gwen closed the door making the least amount of noise as possible. She put her back against the wall and exhaled a held breath.  
"Do you think..." Gwen trailed off. It was a horrifying thought that he had been enchanted once more.  
What was even more horrifying was what he might do if he woke up from the trance right after killing the certain someone.  
"Possibly." Arthur concurred knowing full well that magic was a force to be reckoned with.  
Morgause did, after all, conjure up an illusion almost strong enough to make him kill his own father.  
"He's..." Gwen trailed off at the memory of the Fomorroh crawling beneath his skin.  
"Merlin." Arthur finished for her. The maid smiled out of relief.  
She nearly told him that the man had tried to kill him before.  
"I could keep an eye on him." She suggested as it would not be wise that, if he were indeed enchanted, they were on to him.  
Arthur thought it a good plan.

_The next day_

When Merlin woke he had not forgotten the offer she'd made him. How he wished he could simply close his eyes and go back to the day he first laid eyes on her. He closed his eyes but his life had always been more nightmare than fairy tale. He knew that when he'd open his eyes again the world would not have changed. It would still be bitter and dark, so very real and so very wrong.

Waking up and her being his first thought had become something of a pattern that didn't even require dreaming of her, it was simply there. Some said that if you woke to the thought of someone, you loved them in one way or another. _She's going to try and kill Arthur again._ He deluded himself into thinking that he cared for Arthur like a brother. For a while, the delusion sufficed. Then he realised the sentence always started with '_she_', that he thought of _her_, and it broke the pattern in a bad way. The First Thought didn't change but those that followed did. They no longer revolved around Arthur but her. Now it had changed once more. _Think about it._

He wanted her kindness and forgiveness but knew right from wrong. The Morgana of old died years ago. Could he bring her back? Would he be able to soothe her anger and find that heart of hope buried so deep beneath the pain of the past?

He shook his head and pushed the thought away. Tempted though he was, he knew she would never change.

For days Gwen balanced between following Merlin and keeping Arthur safe from him. On one such day, after following Merlin home, she went back to Arthur so they could discuss the situation. It didn't take long for them to realise that Gwen's constant presence meant that the 'enchanted' Merlin would never show.

A plot was devised and immediately put into action.

Merlin entered the throne room where Arthur was briefing the knights on the situation. What annoyed the warlock was that Arthur was wearing armour already and that a briefing without him implied that he wouldn't be coming along on their little adventure.

Being a good little manservant Merlin listened and waited for the King to finish his briefing. It confirmed what he had already suspected. Morgana had been sighted in one of the nearby forests. After the briefing Merlin asked why he wasn't coming along.  
"I don't want to put you in harm's way again. Besides, you always stumble into trouble." Arthur explained and left without waiting for a reply.  
Merlin went back to his chambers and packed. Did Arthur really think he was going to drop it?

By the time the manservant had gotten his things Arthur and the Knights were gone. Rushing down the corridor there was Gwen who pulled him aside.  
"What's the matter?" Gwen acted all innocent and surprised.  
"Arthur's going after Morgana." He replied rather short of breath.  
"Didn't he tell you-" She wanted to see if she could keep him from going but his mind was set.  
"Yes but he's clearly forgotten all the times I've saved his sorry ass." He broke out his infamous, boyish smile again.  
Whenever he did that her every protest became half-hearted. "Still-" She kept on trying to persuade him but was out of luck.  
"I haven't the time." Merlin moved past Gwen who, at this point, could do nothing but worry.

* * *

Arthur made his Knights stop in the middle of the road. If they went any further, Merlin would never find them and the point never proven.  
"Sire." One of the Knights sought the King's attention. "Would it not have been wiser to face the witch in greater numbers?"  
There were twelve of them and Arthur definitely would have taken more along if she had actually been there. Sometimes Arthur wished the Knights just kept their traps shut and followed orders.  
"If I hadn't made it up, yes."  
"Then why are we here?" The Knight continued to question his King.  
Since Arthur didn't have Merlin there, he thought it a fun idea to put the Knight in his place. "To see if any of you would be as cowardly as to desert."  
_"That'll shut him up."_ The King thought.

Arthur did some more thinking and reasoned that Merlin wouldn't strike them if they were huddled together like that.  
"Some of the villages have been moaning about the lack of patrols. Since we're here, six of you patrol the road south and show them the colours of Camelot."  
The Knights nodded and left as they were told.

After a few minutes Arthur grew a bit bored and sighed. It was then that an arrow buried itself into his shoulder and knocked him off his horse. Down but not out, Arthur scrambled to his feet and heard more arrows cut through the air. Only one other person fell off his horse but he wasn't so lucky. The arrow had pierced the armour and struck his heart. The roars of the assailants were many and more than they could handle. The riders fell with their horses and in this moment of chaos Arthur decided to flee into the woods.

Merlin heard a noise in the distance. According to another traveller the Knights couldn't be much further. What the manservant saw, however, wasn't Knights but bandits. The warlock dismounted and took out his sword. The horses in the middle of the road were draped with red cloaks of Camelot with the Knights still attached to them. They had been raided. Although Merlin could only see three bandits so far but he knew that these were just the scavengers. There was no way three bandits would be able to jump Knights on horseback. Judging by the shapes on the ground these couldn't be all twelve of them.

One of the scavengers noticed Merlin and drew his sword. The warlock had already observed their surroundings and there were no onlookers. He would finish them off quickly and search for his friend. The bandit raised his sword and Merlin whispered a sleeping spell which made it look like he ran into his opponent's sword.

The two remaining bandits charged him at the same time.  
"_Thurhdrife hi ecg!_" Merlin sent the sword of the fallen bandit flying into one of his attackers.  
The last bandit looked back at his fallen ally for a mere moment but it was enough for the warlock to stab him by surprise. Merlin briefly examined the dead bodies belonging to both the patrol and its assailants. Both sides had suffered heavy casualties. Merlin counted five Knights and no Arthur.. It didn't take a tracker to see which way the remaining bandits had gone, all the footsteps led to one side of the forest.

As Merlin searched for Arthur, the man in question tried to fend off his attacker. The two remaining bandits had split up earlier and one of them caught up. Arthur wielded his sword with two hands since the shoulder of his sword arm was wounded. The King's assailant was clever enough to do battle with a different goal. He didn't try to cut or maim him. He brought the hilt of their blades together and exerted pressure to wear him down. Arthur didn't want to admit it but it was working.

Arthur's heart was in his throat and he could hear it pound. The ache in his shoulder built and built. Holding his sword was becoming exercise and then, with one more push, he was disarmed. The man in front of him recognized victory. He raised his sword high and Arthur, trying to get away, fell onto his back.  
"Didn't happen to bring your crown, did you?" He mocked the fallen King.  
Leaves rustled behind him.  
"Oh, good." The bandit's friend seemed to have joined them but when he turned around a sword ran him through.  
"Merlin?" Arthur spoke in amazement. How did he always arrive in the nick of time?  
The manservant laid his sword behind his head to make a victory pose but Arthur flinched when he raised his sword to do so.  
"Don't be such a girl." Merlin mocked him as he held out his hand and pulled the King to his feet.  
"Not a word." Arthur said seriously as he picked up his sword.

They sat in the physician's chambers, Merlin, Arthur and Gwen. They hadn't waited for the remaining six Knights to return since they could have been ambushed as well. Merlin was just done wrapping the bandage around the King's shoulder when he saw Arthur and Gwen exchange a look.  
"What?" Merlin asked.  
"This is kind of my fault." Arthur said with a pained look.  
"Our fault." Gwen added. Merlin kept quiet and waited for her to continue. "We visited you the night after your run in with Morgana."  
Arthur picked up where Gwen left off, "You whispered her name and you were smiling. Gwen followed you around and nothing happened. There wasn't opportunity for anything so we made a plan."  
Merlin sighed. "This was a test." he concluded and began cleaning up the equipment used for Arthur's bandage.  
"You're not mad at us?" Gwen asked and set off his rant.  
"SOME FAITH YOU HAVE IN ME!" He shouted, "Do you really trust me so little?"  
"We're supposed to ask if you're enchanted?" Arthur tried to defend them.  
"You didn't even ask what happened that day." Merlin clarified upset.  
The door opened and Gaius waddled in.  
"What's all this shouting? I thought I was the only deaf person here." The old man frowned at them.  
"Did you know?" Merlin fired the question without preamble and Gwen answered for him, "He didn't"  
The manservant shook his head again.  
"You know better, Gwen." Merlin glared at her on his way out and slammed the door behind him.

**AN:  
**Merlin and Arthur banter and bicker all the time. He's not turning evil that easily.


	3. Darkness

**AN:**

Some of the things Arthur and Merlin deal with may seem odd and their place in chapters rather short.  
It's not the _thing_ that matters but more the conflict that it brings to the King and warlock.

**Darkness**

_"You know better, Gwen." Merlin muttered and on his way out he slammed the door behind him._

While Arthur and Gwen explained to Gaius what his ward was going on about, the King's treacherous advisor brought to Camelot a creature of the vilest of natures. It wasn't a difficult task that needed a specific set of skills, just a mind that followed orders.

It wasn't until the moon rose that it roamed beyond its lair. Blood coloured one of the streets and half a dozen people were missing. No one saw it, save for the dead, but howling could be heard throughout the city. The next morning, Knights and guards looked for 'the wolf' but it wasn't found and Merlin had a strange feeling that magic was involved.

At dusk, Merlin managed to get away from his duties as manservant and patrolled the streets like a guard would. The difference between the guard and the warlock was that the latter had at least some idea about what he was looking for. Where the creature would most likely have made his home would be the underground waterworks. He went down several narrow corridors before reaching the many tunnels. It was dark but to light a torch might be unwise considering the nature of a beast that fears the light.

Corner after corner, corridor after corridor, he was met by silent darkness. Gently and unseen he let magic slip through his fingers like sand. He felt vibrations in the water make a pathetic attempt to pushing it back. There was something down there, he was certain of it. He let go of his magic and the vibrations stopped. Could it be that the creature was afraid of magic? He kept looking but the affirmation that the beast was there also gave reason to fear the darkness.

The water began vibrating again but he wasn't using magic. There it was! He couldn't see it but he heard some sort of running and with the rhythm of an animal. It was moving away and Merlin persued it back to the surface. The warlock was too late, several dead bodies already laid sprawled out on the floor but it had not been in vain.

Fear caused Merlin to freeze up. There it stood, a black hound, very similar to a wolf and if it weren't for the blood on its teeth, it would easily have been mistaken as a stray. But that was not what struck fear in the warlock's heart. It was the eyes, the red, glowing eyes of the ghastly beast.

It was heading straight for him, running. Merlin did not hesitate and summoned a shield but it was like it did not care, did not matter at all. The hound seemed to break through the spell and it only seemed to amplify the blow that sent him back, thankfully away from the hound. It bared its teeth once more and Merlin took up arms in the form of an offensive fire spell. Once more it did not have the desired effect. A ball of fire made its home on the monster but it merely backed off, not really bothered by it.

Armour and weaponry echoed through the streets and the hound scrambled at the sound. Merlin put his back against the wall and remembered to breathe. He closed his eyes, glad that it was over. The Knights took in the sight of the dead bodies which, this time, hadn't miraculously disappeared.

Back at the physician's chambers, Merlin went through the bestiary with Gaius.

"The Barghest." Gaius turned the book over to Merlin. "This does not bode well for Camelot."  
Merlin quickly read and reread the page.  
"It doesn't say how to kill it." Merlin said confused.  
"That is because the Barghest cannot be killed." Seeing the confusion in his ward's eyes, the physician continued. "You did not see the creature of legend. You saw a creature of black magic imitating it."  
"I couldn't kill it." Merlin said slightly panicked.  
The old physician chuckled and replied "Not with ordinary weaponry, naturally-" but he did not understand.  
"Gaius, I've tried magic and it didn't die." The apprentice explained and Gaius showed a face of worries.  
With his guardian's mind elsewhere, Merlin went to his room and picked up his satchel.  
"Merlin." Gaius called him back as he was about to leave. "Where are you going at this hour?"  
"To find an answer." Merlin replied before closing the door behind him.

Merlin took a horse from the stables. He knew who would be able to provide an answer and he had to leave Camelot to get it. Black magic, a vicious creature, one that seemed incapable of dying. It looked like the Barghest to obscuring its true nature. The warlock could figure it out on his own with complex spells and enchantments but the streets would run red before he would find it.

He would seek the answer from the dark sorceress that cast it. He would confront Morgana Pendragon.

* * *

The windows of Morgana's hovel shed a dim light on the outside. Merlin dismounted close by but tried to keep his presence unnoticed. It didn't make sense. He could be as sneaky as he wanted to be but she'd have to answer it willingly. He had no way of forcing her to. Then there were the words. "_Think about it_" she had said. Whatever she offered probably wouldn't matter, it would harm Arthur and he'd never agree to that.

He slowly moved towards the front door and knocked in a rhythm of three.  
"Come in." Came Morgana's voice.  
Merlin hesitantly opened the door and saw her busy with a mortar and pestle.  
"I was right, you do know where I live." Morgana spoke casually, almost ignoring him.  
Only now did it occur to Merlin that there was a reason she made him stop in the woods that day.  
"I need you to stop the Barghest." He told her.  
"Why would I want to do that?" She smiled cruelly as she revelled in her superiority.  
"If you don't stop this you will find yourself in a Kingdom without subjects." Merlin tried to make her see reason but she just kept grinding away at the plant in the mortar.  
She wasn't going to give in. He knew that the only way to receive any help from her was to grovel.  
"Morgana, please. It's killed thirty people already. I implore you, Morgana. Please tell me how to stop it."  
He could see her think and hoped she wasn't imagining ways of torture.  
"I want something in return." She said. "Gaius kept a head from the Fomorroh. I need it."  
Merlin shuddered at the thought. How did she even know Gaius had it? Agravaine must've seen something. He could guess what she wanted with the head. She probably wanted to grow a new Fomorroh but right now it was a good a deal as it would get.  
"Fine." He agreed.  
She held out her hand and replied "Your dagger."  
He took out a simple dagger with a wooden handle. It was slim, a tad fancy for your average peasant, but a decent knife nonetheless. Merlin handed it over and suddenly worried about being unarmed. He couldn't use magic against her and if she were to strike him... the dagger would've been pointless anyhow.  
Morgana began chanting and Merlin listened to the words.

_Light against darkness at world's end_

_Against the fiend it strikes without relent _

_With a weapon made to defend_

_Let it banish the shadows in the people's lament_

When Morgana returned Merlin's dagger he noticed the blade had become so white it seemed to glow.  
"Just stab the thing." She said as she returned to her alchemy project.  
As Merlin opened the door to leave, Morgana called him.  
"Merlin, did you ever consider my offer?" She asked.  
He hoped she wouldn't ask.  
"No." He said after a pregnant pause and quickly closed the door behind him.  
With a sigh he put his back against the wall and a second later heard something shatter inside. Peering through the window he saw Morgana had smashed her bowl and pulling her hair back in an attempt to recompose herself before leaning against her workbench.

"_Who is fooled the most?_" She thought."_Him by my kiss or me for thinking he might actually have affections for me?_"  
Her solitude and subsequent presence of Merlin had stirred something inside her. Without Morgause plotting against Arthur became a lot less fun and more something of duty. Years ago he disarmed with his sweetness and as a prisoner he did something similar with his honesty, or rather shaking off the duplicity that belonged to the act of a manservant.  
"_Stop kidding yourself, Morgana. It's been too long. But he knows where I live and didn't tell Arthur, surely that meant something? Gods, I'm acting like the tavern wench no one wants to touch. Agravaine would but I'm not _that_ desperate. He hates me and I hate him, that's the way it is and how it's supposed to be. He just said he's not interested and he left in a hurry. Stop it, he can't even stand to be around you anymore. It's not Merlin anymore, it's Arthur's manservant._"

**AN:**

There first couple of chapters are a generic intro, that's why I didn't bother with an elaborate plot and added Morgana in to keep the story going.  
Morgana's longer train of thought is something new I'm trying. Good or bad?


	4. Grey

**AN:**

Rya3SaberVltar: First time I read its name was in a game called The Witcher (had a similiar creature) but it wasn't until I saw BBC's Sherlock, the hound of baskerville, that I learned of its true origin. The details I gave in the previous chapter are made up though.

Chapter has been modified to fill up a plot hole (as reviewed by The PhantomHokage).

A lot of dialogue but it's somewhat necessary.  
Stay tuned because the next chapter will lead into Merlin's dark descent

**Grey**

Merlin returned to Camelot at the crack of dawn. The Barghest would not return until after dusk. Meanwhile he would have to entertain his royal pratness, the King. The manservant had forgotten almost Arthur had schedueled practice in the morning. He sighed knowing that it would be a long day. Being battered by the King was exhausting enough after a good night's sleep but Merlin didn't sleep at all and his thoughts were with the hound from hell.

Arthur seemed to notice his friend's lack of attention and he decided to quit practice earlier than usual. As Merlin helped him take off his armour Arthur began the conversation.  
"You seemed a bit distracted on the field." Arthur noted.  
Merlin pulled a bit of a face. "It's... Does it ever bother you?" the manservant asked.  
Arthur frowned at his friend not sure what he was getting at and Merlin clarified "The people we kill and the ones that are caught in between."  
"You shouldn't worry about such things, they'll only give you a headache." Arthur replied.  
It's what Merlin had been trying to do for ages but the blood wouldn't wash off his hands like it did from the King's armour. Merlin's conscience had begun acting up ever since he saw Morgana being kind to the father with his daughter in the forest. There were some whom he pitied; Mary Collins, Edward Muirden, Sophia, Ulfric and even Nimueh. Others he couldn't care less about; Valiant, Kanen, Sigan, Aredian and Morgause. Finally there were those caught in between and those were the ones that burdened his conscience; Morded, Will, Freya and Balinor. One person couldn't be catagorised in any of them, namely Morgana. The pain she had caused fell on his shoulders because he helped create the darkness that now surrounded her. He felt responsible not only for the pain she brought onto other but the anger she kept holding on to as well.

"When Morgana 'caught' me we ran into a man and his daughter. They were looking for the druids-"  
"They've been dealt with." Arthur said in a dismissive tone that shocked Merlin.  
The manservant had expected a different response altogether. Arthur was acting as if he had said he saw a bandit escaping rather than a confused man with his daughter.  
"Killed?" Merlin's question made him sigh.  
"They're not always as innocent as they look." Arthur didn't even make an effort to hide his annoyance and displeasure towards his manservant's sympathy.  
One would expect that, after Mordred, the King would have grown a bit more leniant towards the druids. Although they lived in his Kindom, Arthur did not see them as his subjects because they didn't act as such. A true King would either hunt them as rebels or embrace them for the lost souls they were. In his ignorance he dismissed them. For a King, ignorance was not bliss but damnation.  
"What about the Knights that died in the ambush?" Merlin asked.  
"They were good men. They didn't deserve to die at the hands of bandits." He replied.  
It seemed a decent answer but the words sounded hollow and with the illusion of honour in death. Good men, yes, that he was right about that but the bandits part was rubbish. Those men didn't deserve to die at all. It was the end of life and leaving everyone behind with a pain that might never heal. All these nearly political answers made Merlin want to hear something real.  
"People died for you, do you even care?" The manservant lashed out and Arthur gave an immediate response.  
"They knew the risks! I can't mourn every soul that dies in the name of Camelot." The King spoke like his predecessors.  
Not only he speak with the typical arrogance of a King but the mentality of his words were those Merlin would attribute to war. What was it doing in this time of peace?  
"But you don't even care!" Merlin raised his voice and hoped Arthur would see reason, "The men that died for you were fathers, brothers and sons."  
"I don't want anyone to die, but as long as Morgana is still out there I don't have a choice." Arthur explained.  
Their struggle against Morgana was the war Arthur was fighting. In his mind at the very least. It was a fair reason but considering 'choice' he was wrong.  
"There's always a choice." Merlin said softly.  
Arthur shook his head and smiled bitterly. "Lifting the ban isn't a choice. She'll raise an army of sorcerers and burn the city to ashes."  
"She wouldn't." Merlin said without thought.  
"How would _you_ know? No matter how much you want it, she's not the Morgana of old."  
He looked away out of shame. Not shame for his hopes but the hopes he destroyed, her hopes. It infuriated him that Arthur believed his manservant didn't fully comprehend the severity of things. He had _no_ idea of the sacrifices made for him and no bloody right to say it either. It was him that first knew about Morgana's betrayel, not the King.  
Merlin took a deep breath and took a gamble by taking out the dagger she gave him.  
"What's this?" Arthur asked bewildert.  
The manservant wet his lips. If this went wrong then it would be the end of him.  
"I bargained with her for something to banishing the hellhound with." He confessed.  
Arthur looked at him wide-eyed as if he had grown another head.  
"And she gave you this in exchange for..." He trailed off.  
"A rare ingredient." Merlin wanted to keep him in the dark for his own good.  
"For what purpose?" Arthur spoke as if interrogating him and it wounded him.  
Arthur was the authority of the Kingdom, one to be respected, but this wasn't the way friends behaved around each other. Merlin thought the events in the forest proved he wasn't enchanted and _could_ be trusted. Apparently the King still had his doubts.  
"Growing." Merlin replied, "I know what she plans to do with it. At least trust me this once."  
Too late did the warlock realize his rather poor choice of words. "How can I trust you when you deal with Morgana behind my back?!"

The man had a fair point but the alternative, telling Arthur where Morgana lived, would've been far worse. The witch wouldn't allow herself to be captured and he wouldn't hesitate to kill if need be. The worst case scenario would be both their deaths and the curse of the hellhound would have remained for many more months.  
"Morgana wants the throne but there's no point in it if the city is empty. You can't afford to view the world in black and white anymore, Arthur."  
The blonde took another deep breath. Merlin was pulling his words of wisdom card again. He hated it when he did that, especially because he was right. Arthur didn't even bother to ask how he found her. All they knew was that she was somewhere in the Valley of the Fallen Kings. Those were her hunting grounds. So to speak with her had to be done on her terms or she would not show. The King could guess Merlin went there alone and waited for her to find him.  
"It's the necessary evil." Said Arthur as he turned the blade and examined the other side of it.

Merlin shook his head in denial. He didn't understand. _Good and __Evil_ belonged to black and white. The only necessary evil Merlin knew was the moment he poisoned Morgana. In shades of grey it was the closest thing to black.  
"It's the grey area where we saved the druid boy and Ealdor. You do what you think is right." Merlin said but in the back of his mind the sentence continued "_And damn the consequences."  
_The thought almost made him flinch. He quoted her without meaning to. If she had remained in Camelot with a hopeful heart then Arthur would have been a much more sensible person by now. Morgana knew how to push Arthur buttons, always had, like brother and sister.  
"Like Lancelot's knighthood." Arthur seemed to understand the concept.  
The warlock was glad Arthur's rage had left him unscathed. _"I don't even have to muck out the stables."_ He thought with a hidden smile.  
"All that's left is killing the hellhound."

They waited until dusk before starting their patrols. Each squadron of had a banner carrier and several men on the walls of the citadel kept an eye on them. If any of them went down, that's where the barghest would be. Merlin wanted to vanquish the hound on his own but Arthur, who then held the magical dagger, didn't let him. The King had taken upon himself the task of slaying the beats with the short, pointy weapon. Magic made him uncomfortable. Not even the fact that he controlled the enchanted blade eased his mind. He kept shifting in his saddle, something not gone unnoticed by Merlin.

The warlock told himself it wasn't magic but the shortness of the blade that made the King feel uneasy. Slowly but surely he began to understand how and what Gaius was towards Uther. Gaius kept secrets and in return Uther turned a blind eye. It wasn't friendship. It was mutual captivity behind a mask of civility. He also saw how he and Arthur were becoming the very same thing only their captivity was destiny. He wanted friendship, not some loathsome game of civility.

Merlin was almost glad when a banner fell in the lower town as it took his mind off his troubles and back to the matter at hand. Arthur left the citadel with a small number of Knights and raced through the gate. The hellhound acted as if he had been caught in the act when the Knights arrived. It did not flee this time, its hunger for blood was not yet sated. It leaped and knocked one of the Knights off his horse. Immediately it dug its teeth in his shoulder and the man's screams were unbearable.

Before Arthur had time to respond it jumped at him as well. Fear saved him as he toppled back before the creature reached him. As unlikely as it may have been, paws broke through part of his armour. The King was off his horse but the hound had not managed to launch himself on top of him as he had done with the other Knight. The other Knights shouted in chaos as their leader quickly grabbed the dagger. Not knowing of the magical dagger, the Knights surrounded the King as a way of protection. It did not matter to the cursed beast as he tore another Knight off his horse and landed straight in the middle of their protective circle. Arthur was confronted by foul, red eyes. It roared once and his arm flew forwards, digging the blade into the dark being of magic. It jumped up and scattered into a billion pieces carried away by the wind like sand running through fingers.

No one saw the gold fade from Merlin's eyes. Arthur was petrified at the close-up of the beast's eyes as it had nearly paralyzed him the first time he saw them. This would become some heroic story in the history books where the mighty King defeated the hound from hell. They wouldn't mention the equally heroic manservant that got the dagger from his murderous half-sister. As long as magic would return to Albion, Merlin couldn't care less. The Fomorroh found find its way back to Morgana in the childish manner of knocking on her door and running for the hills. It was cowardly but Merlin didn't want to face her if he didn't have to. It would only bring pain to the both of them.


	5. Neutral territory

**AN: **I'm glad you're still reading and (hopefully) liking the story so far.

**Neutral territory**

There had always been conflict within Albion and this time it was between King Alined and Lord Godwyn. The dispute concerned the exact lines of the border. Arthur offered to host the negotiations in Camelot since they shared an alliance with them. Every step closer to peace would be a step closer to uniting Albion. For once Merlin didn't have very much to do with the preparations. With two noble families visiting one would think there would be a lost to do but it was the exact opposite. Both parties did not only bring their own servants but sent a few of them ahead so everything needs would be tended to upon arrival. The leaders were in council for lengthy periods and Arthur dismissed his manservant so he could do something more meaningful.

Thankfully for Merlin Gaius didn't know. Merlin didn't really have any pastime because Arthur kept his manservant busy. He used his spare time not with an actual pastime but something important nonetheless. Magic. There were still many spells he had not mastered yet. Nimueh had powerful fire magic, Cornelius Sigan animated the Gargoyles, Gilli channelled magic into strength and Morgana was the mistress of black magic. So what was the power of the great Emrys? Stunning spells and falling branches weren't exactly fearful and his talents as a dragonlord were hereditary. He wasn't an amazing healer either. He could barely concoct a potion.

Then he saw what made him special and it wasn't even his magic. Improvisation was his power. It wasn't perfect. The encounter with Morgana and Alator had proven that. He needed more spells that would give him the element of surprise. It was time to go back to the hidden books where the Goblin remained.

At the end of the day Merlin knew by his master's demeanour that the meeting between Godwyn and Alined did not go well.  
"Made any progress?" Merlin asked out of curiosity.  
"At one point I thought they'd draw their swords." Arthur said as he dropped himself onto his chair.  
"Perhaps tomorrow will be better." The manservant said in a fruitless effort to cheer up the King.  
"Not if they keep bickering about times past. Especially Alined." The blonde kept complaining.  
Merlin put his back against the wall and crossed his arms.  
"They're not really cooperating, are they?" Times like these Arthur deserved a bit of empathy.  
"There's the odd sentence where they actually make some sense but other than that, no."  
"A bit like you then." Merlin joked and, despite it being a cheap shot, Arthur cracked a smile.  
Bantering with Arthur was fun way to cheer him up but the moments were usually shortly lived.  
"When all this is done there will be a feast. They might not deserve it but I will."  
Merlin wanted to make a witty reference to the holes in his royal fatness' belt but the King moved on.  
"I wonder if Alined would have his jester perform again." Arthur wondered  
Merlin hoped he hadn't. The love spell he used on Arthur wasn't easily removed.  
"He seemed a bit cross with him last time." Merlin smiled at the memory of the jester in chains behind Alined's horse.  
"Didn't keep him from bringing him along." The King replied as he straightened his posture.  
Trickler was in Camelot? How did he not see it? The library, of course. Come to think of it, Geoffrey seemed to live there and Merlin rarely saw him anywhere else. A bit of a recluse. Merlin shook away the stray thoughts and inquired about Alined's jester.  
"When?"  
Arthur took a moment and tried to remember when the jester had arrived. Failing to answer that question he gave a much simpler answer.  
"He served us during council."  
Merlin worried for a moment but Trickler wouldn't dare use magic that close to the armed men of Camelot. Elena was still in Gawant and would hopefully stay there. The last thing he needed was another thing to worry about. The warlock wanted to be rid of Trickler once and for all.

Later that evening Merlin discussed the matter with Gaius who had a few interesting thoughts to share. For starters, the negotiations as much a chance for peace as they were to bring war. At the very least between Alined and Godwyn. Secondly, Alined might have instigated their squabble for that very reason, a chance at war, but it was unlikely. Peace made him poor but going to war with someone himself was even worse. That's why he tried to bring war between Arthur and Olaf. If someone else were to be at war then they could supply men and metal. That's how he became rich. Lastly, killing Trickler should look like an accident. If either Alined or Godwyn found that it led back to Camelot then there would be hell to pay.

In the middle of the night Merlin left the comfort of his bed to seek out Trickler and end things before they had even begun. Wandering the corridors ideas were plentiful. A blow to the head and throwing him down the stairs, _he slipped_. He's standing on the balcony and it gives away leading to a deadly fall, _too big for sabotage_. Bruised, beaten, smelling of urine and dead in a ditch, _a lethal bar brawl_. If only he could make that last one actually happen, that would be amazing.

Then a shadow moved past a door in the distance. It seemed his was not alone despite it being the dead of night. Merlin knew out of instinct that it wasn't right. The torches should only reveal the armour of Knights at this time of day. The warlock hurried around the corner and saw that it was, in fact, another servant. Judging by his attire it was oneof Godwyn's. Although relieved, it did not put him at ease. Merlin kept following him from a distance. The unnamed servant's footsteps came to a halt near Godwyn's chambers but not in sight of them. It gave Merlin the opportunity to get a better look at him. _Black hair, nose like a hawk, average height and build, no one special._ He thought and smiled to himself for being paranoid like that.  
But he was right after all at the sound of the words "_Swefe nu_."  
The man guarding Godwyn's door fell asleep. Merlin's eyes widened and finally he saw it. The crystal that hung around his neck and rested on the servant's chest was not ordinary. Its distorting transparency was like that of a rhinestone and that's exactly what it did, distort what one saw. Merlin knew it as a Blood Crystal. All it needed was a single drop of another man's blood to take on his appearance. Trickler's treacherous trickery had to stop.

Trickler went inside and Merlin tarried fretting over what might happen if Godwyn saw his magic. It had to be stopped nonetheless, they would just have to understand. Merlin turned the handle and it seemed to open on its own. He stood eye-to-eye with Trickler who was still disguised as a servant. Alined's sorcerer was not shocked at seeing a person in front of him like Merlin did and saw merely an obstacle. Trickler knocked him to the floor with his shoulder and tried to flee when Merlin grabbed his leg and brought him to the floor as well. The warlock's silent, stealthy magic flung the dagger away from them and he pounced Trickler. For a moment Merlin had the advantage but the jester was stronger than him and managed to push him off him.

As they struggled they noticed the rattling of armour. Things had become a haze for the warlock. His sole intent was to keep Trickler there and pull off the necklace when the guards were there. And they were. Strong arms pulled them apart and Merlin reached for blood crystal but failed to grab it. His heart sank as the jester used the ace up his sleeve.  
"He killed Lord Godwyn!" Trickler shouted in faked shock, complete with tears and all.  
This was an absolute nightmare. Trickler still had the appearance of one of Godwyn's servants and he was a convincing actor. Adding to that was the blood of the knife that had rubbed off on both of them. It seemed like a Godwyn's loyal subject tried to apprehend his Lord's murderer.  
"Liar!" Merlin shouted in denial but it was all in vain when a force connected with his head and the world faded to black.

**AN:**  
Okay, maybe a bit predictable but I'll be pulling it to an emotionally higher level than most fics do.


	6. Doubts

**AN:** I see a lot "this is how he becomes evil" and to tell you the truth it's not that simple. There's a spoiler at the bottom.  
This execution business is an emotional skyscraper which I'm going to take full advantage of for (this and) the next 2 chapters.  
Sorry for the lack of Mergana but this has to happen without her.

**Doubt**

Papers littered the oak desk before him as he held his head in his hands. The study was a mess. He couldn't eat, couldn't sleep and the very last thing he could do was think. Lord Godwyn was murdered in his sleep by a knife piercing his hart. Lord Godwyn who was an ally of Camelot and one of his father's oldest friends. Writing Princess Elena, soon Queen Elena, a letter about her father's death was not an easy task. Arthur didn't write much himself. He usually told Merlin to do it and then criticize his work here and there - formalities mostly since Arthur was more educated in that respect. Now he had to write it himself. The biggest problem wasn't the murder but rather putting into words that he believed the man incarcerated was innocent. Merlin, his loyal manservant and friend, had been incarcerated for cold blooded murder. He hadn't spoken with him yet but he would once he would come to. Alined broke off negotiations under the guise of respect for Gawant's fallen leader but rumour had it he was selling arms already.

It was difficult for the young King to think. The fireplace that burned and warmed the study danced hypnotically but reminded him of the cold and dreary dungeon his friend was in. The oak desk, that had endured the spilling of beer, wine and even rat stew, had long since lost it's woody smell and was replaced by the sweet scent of said wine. On many of those occasions Merlin was there to clean it up again. It seemed like every little thing, from clean socks to polished armour, seemed to remind him of Merlin.

The door swung open and slammed shut for Gwen to stride in like Arthur knew she would.  
"Merlin murdered Lord Godwyn?! It's insane!" She shouted.  
"I know it is." Arthur said calmly. They had this conversation in his head three different ways already.  
"Then get him out of the dungeon!" Gwen demanded.  
"I can't." He regrettably confessed. "The people heard Merlin did it and so will Elena. The only way to set him free is to catch the actual murderer."  
Guinevere pondered other options to set her friend free but none seem to come to mind.  
"Then there's another thing." Arthur continued "Merlin would never murder someone like this."  
Gwen knew something bad was coming and spoke with a slight tremor "But?"  
"We have to consider the possibility that Morgana controlled him all along." He replied with equal displeasure.  
Without another word Gwen left Arthur's study. He didn't do anything to stop her knowing his attempts would lead to nothing.

Gwen wanted to go home but couldn't hold her tears and went to one of the supply chambers instead. This couldn't be happening. Merlin didn't commit the murder, he couldn't have. He was one of the bravest and most caring people in the world. He was a man of justice. Not justice of law but justice of the heart and not his heart alone. She knew he served Arthur not only as a servant but as a moral compass as well. Now the world was upside down. It was Merlin who was in trouble and Arthur buried his head in politics. To make matters even worse Arthur even suggested Morgana still controlled him. Gwen knew she didn't. She had discreetly checked his neck and there was no Fomorroh. He even passed their stupid test. Merlin was Merlin and none other than Merlin.

How she wished Lancelot was still alive. He was one of few people she could truly connect with. Merlin was one of them and so was Arthur but neither of them was capable of comforting her. Noble, honourable Lancelot. A man who understood the meaning of sacrifice. With Arthur disappointing her so, she wished he had been selfish enough to be alive that day.

* * *

Brown leaves of fall surrounded the trees from which they fell. He felt cold, inside and out, but his hand was warm.

Drip.

Drip.

Dark red drops disturbed the texture of the leaves. His hand was wet and warm from the fluids that ran through it. He couldn't see what it was - all he saw were the leaves- but a metallic smell filled his nostrils. All he could do was feel. It was dread, anger and regret. There was pain burning inside him as if carrying a weight that was far too heavy. The mysterious strain was tingling throughout his body but didn't stop there. It surrounded him like the trees and leaves. He desperately tried to hold onto the feeling in the fear that the world would fall away if he let go.

Pain ran through his arm as he opened his eyes and saw the floor of a prison cell. He was in the dungeon and the nightmare left a sweaty mark on the back of his shirt. He had a throbbing headache. Whoever knocked him on the head had done it a bit too well. He wondered what everyone had been up to while he slept. One such answer came by looking at his jailor, Sir Percival.  
_"Where to begin?"_ Merlin thought as he sat up but Percival noticed him and beat him to it.  
"Did you do it?" He asked brutally honest.  
Percival wasn't usually this forward but Merlin understood that his friends needed a straight answer from him.  
"No." The prisoner gave his straight answer.  
The muscular bloke stared at him for a moment and then visibly relaxed. At least someone believed him though it would pain him if any of the Knights didn't.  
"Morgana?" The burly man suggested and Merlin shook his head in denial.  
"The plot is her style but the target isn't."  
Percival nodded in agreement. Morgana would have targeted Arthur or maybe even Gwen, not Godwyn.  
"The other servant killed him but he's long gone." Merlin said with a slight smile. "There goes your trial."  
"Merlin," Percival tried to be gentle, "there won't be a trial."  
"What?!" The warlock exclaimed in shock although he knew the reason already.  
What he had supposedly done was no ordinary crime, it was treason. The rules had changed and so did the game. The trial was now unnecessary for his execution. That was the sentence for treason such as this.  
"Arthur told me to fetch him as soon as you're awake." Percival informed him.  
The manservant nodded and took a deep breath. This was quite a predicament he was in.  
"Bring Gaius as well." Merlin added.

The story was told without any interruptions and Gaius managed to successfully explain the workings of the Blood Crystal. It all seemed to be going well until Arthur started asking questions.  
"Why were you out of bed at such a late hour?" He asked.  
Merlin couldn't believe what he was hearing. Arthur was questioning his honesty? He didn't complain when the same tactic kept him safe from Morgana.  
"I couldn't sleep." Merlin replied casually.  
The King didn't like the answer. He wasn't going to question it but he always used that excuse and it was the same Morgana used. It only fuelled his depressing suspicions that Morgana had enchanted him.  
"Who or what should we be looking for?" The King asked Merlin.  
"Find the missing servant. If Gaius can prove he died before Godwyn then that would make the servant seen by the guards a sorcerer."  
Merlin could be quite bright at times, especially when it came to bending the rules. It wouldn't immediately make him innocent but it gave reasonable doubt. If there was a sorcerer in Camelot and Merlin's guilt uncertain then the execution would have to be cancelled. Elena could still push for his guilt and then it _would _become a lengthy trial.  
"The Knights are already looking for him but they don't know he's probably dead." Arthur said.  
Merlin and Gaius briefly talked before the court physician left with the King. Once outside and out of earshot, Arthur approached Gaius for advice.  
"Gaius, there's something worrying me and I need to get it off my chest." He said.  
"What is it, Sire?" Gaius slipped into his role as family of the kingdom and keeper of secrets.  
"Do you think it possible Morgana enchanted him to do it?"  
Gaius moved uneasily at the disturbing thoughts of his King. "Magic comes in many shapes and forms. There are ways to bend the wills of man but I don't believe it to be the case. I would have taken notice."  
Arthur nodded in understanding but understanding should not be confused with acceptance. He didn't think Gaius to be a fool but he was an old man nonetheless. With all the strange things Merlin had done over the years, did anyone _really_ know Merlin?  
"And if he was indeed enchanted?" Arthur theorised.  
"Then it would have ended with the death of Godwyn."  
Regardless of the crime he may or may not have committed, there was at least one thing Arthur was sure about that moment.  
_Merlin is Merlin_

**AN:**

Short update. My well of inspiration is a bit dry at the moment.

* SPOILER ALERT *

* **DON'T SCROLL DOWN ***

Spoiler: The execution will not make Merlin evil but it _will_ changed him.


	7. The Plan

**AN: **I just got ahead of schedule. Must be because of all the lovely reviews you left me.

**The plan**

Merlin laid on his back waiting for good news. He still had worries about his execution and the Knights' investigation into the missing servant. If only he didn't have a guard, usually one of the Knights, all to himself then maybe he could take on the guise of dragoon and do some inquiries on his own. It had been him that saved Arthur countless times, not the Knights. Using a sleeping spell had come to mind but there wasn't any opportunity. Either the guard was being relieved or someone came to visit him.

There was a surge of anger flowing through his veins when he heard Alined had departed and Trickler was now out of reach. Of course the cowardly bastard would retreat to his castle, he had what he wanted. Queen Elena, formerly Princess Elena, would be far easier to persuade than her father and if she declared war on Camelot then he'd have all he wanted. All of Merlin's hope was on the servant's dead body and that it was stuffed away somewhere in Camelot.

Gaius visited him most and they usually talked about the little things like his current patients. The old physician's worried frowns did not go unnoticed by his ward. Times like these it was Merlin that didn't know his guardian's mind rather than the other way around. The warlock could get quite frustrated with him as he had learned Gaius kept troublesome secrets in the past such as Morgause and Balinor's survival. He never told him the stories of their escape.  
"Gaius," Merlin interrupted him in the middle of a sentence, "what if Arthur can't prove my innocence?"  
He took a moment to find an answer. Old age didn't slow his mind but contemplation. Only fools rush in.  
"Even if he can't prove your innocence, he won't let you be executed. He is a good man, you've said so yourself." Gaius reminded him.  
It was true that Arthur would never give in without a fight but their friendship wasn't as strong as it used to be. Given time the cracks would heal but time was running out. Arthur was a just King but traces of Uther's manipulative parentage were still there.  
"He's also still his father's son." Merlin replied.  
"Only Uther is no longer around to influence him." Gaius countered and that was true as well.  
It had been a hell of a lot easier for Merlin to persuade Arthur than when Uther was still around.  
Merlin nodded at his guardian. It wouldn't be easy, putting all his faith and even his life in Arthur's hand, but they would come out stronger than ever.

Late in the afternoon, long after Gaius had left, Arthur finally came down the steps that led to the dungeon. The black bags beneath his eyes betrayed the long nights he had spent trying to find a way out.  
"I see you still manage to dress in the morning." Merlin joked in an attempt to lighten his mood.  
Arthur returned a smile. Their usual banter worked wonders for stress relief.  
"Glad to see you haven't lost your wit." He replied whilst taking something out his pocket. "One of the maids found this not far from Godwyn's chambers."  
Dangling from Arthur's hand was the Blood Crystal necklace as worn by Trickler. Merlin couldn't decide if it was a blessing or a curse. On one hand it revealed that the servant _might_ have been someone else, and on the other hand it would obscure the assassin's identity forever, especially knowing Trickler wasn't in Camelot anymore.  
"Does it still work?" Merlin asked.  
"Yes. That's how we found out she cut herself with it." Arthur replied.  
It meant that, as evidence, its value had become null. Merlin let his head hang for a moment before it popped up again with the most incredulous thought.  
"Did you wear it?" He asked with mirth in his eyes.  
If Arthur had worn it, Merlin could finally get back at him for his _"you're such a girl"_ comments. The King grinned widely which told plenty already. Someone had worn it but not the he himself.  
"Gwaine did." Arthur could barely contain himself and they burst into fits of laughter.  
Wiping tears of laughter from his eyes Merlin asked "Please tell me he asked if he could keep it."  
"No such luck." Arthur said with a sigh.  
Their conversation fell silent. A deafening silence. He was still on death row and it felt like no progress had been made. Merlin couldn't help but despair at the knowledge that a maid found the magical tool rather than the Knights who were investigating it.  
"Arthur, Elena will demand my execution the day she arrives - the day after tomorrow. If you can't prove my innocence, what then?"  
It was a sobering thought. She would arrive soon and although the crystal had been found, they hadn't really gotten closer to proof of his innocence.  
"You shouldn't think like that." He didn't want to talk about it.  
Merlin wasn't going to drop it. Arthur could be a bit of a snob from time to time. If he didn't want an emotional conversation with his manservant then he could stuff it. This was far too important, this was his life!  
"But if it does come to that... The Crystal could help. Magic _can _be used for good." This wasn't one of the ways of getting Arthur to accept magic. Maybe a little bit but there was a far greater good in it, a bright shade of grey. It was a backup plan in case things turned out to be the worst they could be.  
"I'm not going to use magic, Merlin." Arthur refused.  
It visibly shook the manservant. Although he didn't know the full extent of it, Merlin was Arthur's magical good luck charm. All that magic in his defence and he wouldn't return any of it.  
"You'd rather-" Merlin started when Arthur interrupted him.  
"Because I don't need to." He said with his 'know-it-all' smile, "I have a plan, don't worry."  
The prisoner let out a sigh of relief. For a moment there he thought his time was up  
"What is it? What's the plan?" Merlin asked.  
Arthur shook his head. He wasn't going to tell.  
"I can't tell you. When you're out there, you need to look the part."  
Apparently he thought his friend would smile and skip if he knew the plan. They could bicker about it for hours and, in the current situation, Arthur would just walk away. Gaius told him to have faith in his friend and, looking at the world a bit more positive, they did find the Blood Crystal.  
"I... Okay. I trust you." Merlin gave him the benefit of the doubt.

The next day seemed to pass in silence. He tried to figure out what Arthur's plan was by talking to the Knights, whenever they guarded him, but they kept their lips shut tight. It didn't make him exceptionally nervous but he was extremely curious. Eventually he gave up on trying to find out what it was and instead kept his mind on the spells he recently came across. At dusk he could hear the sound of rushed footsteps. Something was going on upstairs but Merlin did not find out until about an hour later when Gwen came to visit.

He saw her approach in the white and blue dress one would often find her in.  
"Elyan, would you unlock the door for me?" Gwen asked her brother.  
She had a lot of leverage on him but refusing her wasn't an option anyhow. Doing so would mean he did not believe in Merlin's innocence and she, or Arthur, would give him hell. Elyan opened the cell door and his sister made yet another request.  
"Could you leave us for a moment?" She asked sweetly.  
The reluctance in his eyes was unmistakably there but the same reasons to listen applied and he did as she asked. Once Elyan was no longer in sight and earshot, Gwen stepped into the cell.  
"I hate talking through prison bars. You don't belong in here." She said as if needing to explain herself.  
Merlin saw how thoroughly upset she was and put an hand on her shoulder. He was about to speak when she moved closer to him and brought her arms around his lanky figure, hugging him like a teddy bear. The crush she had on him had ended years ago but he still held a special place in her heart. She saw him as a brother who believed in her innocence and to whom she could voice her worries. Hwis hand gently rubbed her back and he smiled silently.

She moved back again and cleared her throat. "Elena arrived about an hour ago."  
Merlin nodded, acknowledging the fact. He had, after all, heard the noise.  
"Arthur still hasn't found anything." Merlin spoke sadly.  
"I... Arthur..." She wanted to say something but couldn't find the words and pouted instead.  
It didn't take a bright mind to see what was going on.  
"You know about his plan?" Merlin asked.  
"He said not to tell you." She said with a shy smile.  
"He showed his hand when I asked him to use the Blood Crystal. So what's he up to?" He thought he would finally be getting some answers.  
"I don't know, I didn't ask for details."  
"None of the Knights will tell me. I can only guess it's risky and they will tell me at the last moment so I can't object." He said with a smirk.  
Their conversation moved on to more trivial things after that and ended well into the evening.

Elyan had been relieved by Gwaine. Merlin and Gwaine had more in common than he had with Elyan. The roguish Knight had a lot to say and Merlin welcomed the distraction. Gwaine didn't speak of the Knights' investigation into the death of Godwyn for the simple reason that Merlin did not ask. Instead the room was filled with talk of tavern wenches until it was time to go to sleep and Merlin tried asking one more time.  
"I'm supposed to be beheaded tomorrow. Shouldn't you tell me how you planned to help me escape?"  
"Tomorrow." Gwaine tried postponing it and the Merlin laid back on the bed.  
The Knight took a look at Merlin who was staring at the ceiling. All the Knights knew Merlin wasn't capable of treason. The boy was fiercely loyal to Arthur and the manservant knew him longer than any Knight save for Sir Leon. This was the man he had polished boots with to pay for his drinking debt and didn't get upset when they pulled a prank on him. Gwaine loved to 'lure' him away from his chores and go to the tavern. A drunk Merlin was comically clumsy.  
"Merlin?"  
The prisoner turned his head to look at him but remained on his back. His face was so full of hope and trust that Gwaine couldn't keep it to himself anymore.

The Knight swallowed loudly and spoke softly, "There is no plan."

**AN:**

If you think this is sad, the next chapter will destroy you.


	8. Sacrifice

**Sacrifice**

_The Knight swallowed loudly and spoke softly, "There is no plan."_

Gaius said he couldn't help him and told him to have faith, Arthur said he wouldn't let him die, Gwen said Arthur had a plan and so did the Knights. But it wasn't true. Without a plan or anybody to save him the world became cold. His mouth felt dry, his face was drained of all colour and his heart ached as it began beating faster and faster. A shiver ran down his spine as he realised that Elena was already there and tomorrow would be the day of his execution.

"I'm going to die." Merlin realised.

Gwaine found that he was wrong. Seeing Merlin hope while there was none to be had was cruel but it would have spared him the sight of this.

"What should I do?" The Knight asked him.

Merlin gawked at him. What the hell was he on about? Surely he wasn't actually asking Merlin to order him to do something.

"You always get Arthur out of trouble. Can you escape if I help you?" Gwaine clarified.

The manservant found it touching that Gwaine would risk getting Camelot's wrath upon him for his life. There weren't any ideas save for boyish dreams of fighting their way out. Despite being on death row Merlin didn't want to endanger his friend. It was wrong that he had to ask. It should have been Arthur asking him that question but Merlin had given him a plan before and he turned it down. It was a bitter pill to swallow but there was no escape. This would be the end.

"No." Merlin told his friend who then looked down in grief.

There was one last thing Merlin could and wanted to do. It could ease his friend's pain if that was possible or double his guilt. Risk and reward seemed petty things to worry about when people look at you when you're already dead.

"But there's something you can do when I'm gone." Merlin continued.

Gwaine raised his head and looked at his friend. The rogue had always been more loyal to him than any man before him. He would fullfill his dying wish, he deserved it for all the adventures they had and the pain they shared.

"Anything." The Knight replied.  
"Tell Arthur I have magic." Merlin confessed.  
"I don't understand."  
"All my life I've sought to give it purpose and I found it in Camelot. Arthur will bring magic back to Albion, he is destined to, but it seems it won't happen in my lifetime."  
"You have magic?" repeated Gwaine.  
"Born with it." continued the warlock, "My mother isn't a sorceress but she taught me to use it for good."  
"So the whole clumsy manservant was an act?" asked Gwaine who gave him an incredulous look.  
"No. I really am _that _clumsy." Merlin laughed before his face turned rather grim.  
Gwaine saw the pain in his eyes. It was pain representing years of sacrifice from the shadows with little to no recognition at all. It took a very special person to bear such a burden.  
"You could escape in the blink of an eye, couldn't you?" Asked Gwaine.  
"I don't want to harden his heart against magic. He's my friend. He'll see reason when you tell him the truth in case Gaius doesn't."  
He had always been a mystery to Gwaine and although part of it was revealed at last, there was an even greater part still shrouded in darkness. For someone to hide a deadly truth for so long from all the ones he loved, and wanted to keep safe, had to make him a very special but also a very lonely person. It didn't surprise Gwaine that Gaius knew. The old physician was a sorcerer in the days before the Great Purge and it made sense he would ask for his aid in times of great need.  
"I imagined he'd do this if he found out about my magic, not for some stupid game of politics." Said Merlin.  
Gwaine smiled sadly. This conversation reminded him of the one they had when he told him about Arthur.  
"When we first met I hated nobility. You showed me I was wrong but now he's proving me right."  
Merlin didn't say anything to prove otherwise but simply nodded. They both knew what Gwaine was going to do after the beheading. He was going to resign from the Knights and leave Camelot to return his vagabond way of life. The warlock didn't ask his friend to keep Arthur safe nor did he tell him about the traitor in their midst, Agravaine. As time ticked away towards his death, Merlin found himself caring less and less about what would happen when he was gone.

That night he began looking back on what was and could have been. _Think about it._ It was difficult to forget and now he found himself wanting to say yes. He would give a lot to see her smile one last time. Not a smirk but a real smile out of joy and happiness rather than contempt. The red dress she wore during the feast with Mary Collins was a bittersweet memory. Those red, tempting lips and curly black hair had captivated him the moment he laid eyes on her. It was like a fairy tale that whoever would taste those lips would be forever enchanted to love her. Like every fairy tale, this treasure had a guardian. In her case it really was her guardian, Uther Pendragon. She hated him so much and that hatred tainted her. Tainted. It wasn't until Merlin gave the final push that the taint turned to poison.

Dawn. An execution was to be had in the red of the morning sun.

It wasn't Gwaine or Arthur that came to collect him but Agravaine, alone. Merlin felt nauseous knowing that the end was nigh. The traitor must have been glad he would soon be rid of him since he was strangely polite. Maybe Morgana told him that he had been a worthy opponent and deserved at least some kindness before his death.

Right before they would leave the dungeons, Merlin turned towards Agravaine.  
"There's something I'd like to know, milord."  
"What's that?" The man asked curiously.  
"Did you and Morgana help him?"  
Agravaine thought visibly and Merlin added, "A dying man's last request? No one will believe me anyway."  
He almost chuckled but turned serious and replied.  
"No, we didn't."

It was truth. If Agravaine had lied then he would have lied about being in league with her. Somewhere Merlin felt disappointed. He had seen everyone before his execution save for her. He missed her now that everything would end. Gods, who would tell his mother?

Reaching the courtyard he felt like puking. He wasn't ready yet. There was so much shouting but he couldn't hear what was said. Agravaine brought him onto the wooden podium and Merlin trembled with fear as he saw the chopping block. Tears ran down his face as he saw his friends among the crowd. Gwen stood by the gate that led to the lower town, Gwaine sat on the wall with Percival, Arthur stood on the balcony with Elena and Gaius stood in a corridor, nearly obscured from sight. There was sadness on all their faces, even Elena's but that was for obvious reasons. He could see Arthur's pain but somewhere it didn't seem enough. He had lied to him and although he could be forgiven, this was the worst possible way to find out.

Merlin knew he had a right to be angry only he wasn't. This would be for the greater good if such a thing existed. It would be an act of faith in Arthur, Gwen and the future of Camelot. All he could ask for was not to be forgotten when the history books would be written. Some said that sacrifice was a virtue. He hoped that it would be true and he may be forgiven his other sins in return. Who would be waiting for him on the other side? William, Freya, Lancelot and his father. He looked forward to seeing them again but it felt like it wasn't his time yet. He wasn't finished in the world of the living. There were people he would be leaving behind. He would never see Arthur and Gwen marry and have children or see Sir Leon admit his feelings to that barmaid. He would never see the legendary day that Gwaine would settle down with a woman or maybe even a man. Never would he witness Percival give a monologue.

Arthur made a speech but all Merlin did was look at the dark clouds at the horizon. He heard words and phrases but sadly enough it was just the sentencing, nothing personal. He put his head on the block and his mind was empty. There were no words for it. It shouldn't have come as a surprise that he would die for his King- friend. Merlin had always thought that he'd get himself in a position like this because of magic rather than politics. He'd let it happen however unjust it would be. He would sacrifice himself out of love for King and country. He had served his King well and led a short but full and extraordinary life of adventure.

And sacrifice. Sacrifice for the destiny he would never see.

_then world changed_

_by the deeds of one man_

_he did not become a part of history_

_he would fall into oblivion and be forgotten_

_but his importance was great_

_for he uttered three words that changed the warlock's world_

"Kill the traitor!"

The words ricocheted in the warlock's mind.

He would go into the annals of history as a traitor. Friendship, destiny and faith kept him on the righteous path but now they faded away.

Friendship was a lie. He ordered his execution, he lied to him about having an escape plan and not a word was spoken in his defence.

Destiny was gone. Who would look after the King when he was gone? There was no one to pick up where he left off. Kilgharrah's promise of a golden age was worthless.

Faith was underserved. Arthur, Gwen, the Knights and even Gaius kept telling him there was a plan. He trusted and had faith in them. Only Gwaine had the heart to speak the truth.

Hollow, that's how he felt. Betrayed by everyone and everything after all the sacrifice. Where once was love, there was nothing left.

The wooden podium magically gave way beneath the executioner and seemed to trap him. The crowd was silent as Merlin stood up straight and looked at Arthur on the balcony.  
_"I trusted you."_ He pushed the thought, a sad whisper, into Arthur's mind.  
The King visibly recoiled out of fear. Did Merlin just use magic? It was impossible, it was his imagination.  
"Arthur?" A worried Queen Elena asked besides him.  
_"Farewell."_ Merlin whispered in Arthur's mind and even waved at him as he said it.  
He closed his eyes and chanted.  
"_Bedyrene mec. Astyre mec thanonweard._"  
The winds took him from the stage and no one understood what had happened.

**AN:**

_Then the world changed_. I loved that part, the heavy implication of Merlin's death.  
Please note that a sad Merlin does not make a threat to Camelot. He was to be executed for something other than magic. It doesn't completely destroy his hope in Arthur but it does take away the friendship they shared.

Arthur's perspective on the execution will be discussed later on but for the sake of drama I kept to Merlin's POV.

It may _seem_ obvious where the story is going (joining Morgana) but it isn't, not for a long while. I've actually thought this one through.  
Should you still be concerned, leave a review or send me a PM.


	9. Dark Clouds

**Dark clouds**

The smell of wet grass filled his nostrils. With great difficulty he turned on his back to relieve the pressure from his chest and noticed the black clouds. A soft drizzle touched his face and he remembered the nightmare from which he had escaped. His death. He felt dead too but for a completely different reason. His limbs ached, his eyes burned and he was still nauseous though far less than when his head was on the block. He had used the same spell Morgause had when she escaped with Morgana only slightly different. The warlock knew little of the spell in particular and it had not been kind to him. Rumours would start spreading from Camelot about the magical disposition of the King's manservant. It hurt Merlin to think that they were enemies now. Politically at the very least and that was exactly what Arthur did.

Merlin forced himself to stand up and took in his surroundings. He was in the Valley of the Fallen Kings, Morgana's territory. After losing so much he couldn't really care where he would land. The only place he couldn't go was home. Neither Ealdor nor Camelot, the two places where he felt at home, were safe. One was dangerous for obvious reasons and the other would be in danger because of him.

Destiny seemed to be thrown out the window and the question was risen once more. What was his destiny? Rather than philosophize on it, Merlin sought out a clearing and called for the dragon. The majestic beast of old soon arrived and it seemed that he was not the only one with questions.  
"Warlock, what are you doing here?" Kilgharrah asked.  
"Arthur nearly had me executed. I used magic to escape, he saw it, there was no other way." Merlin half-confessed and half-apologized.  
"It's not the way it's meant to be." Kilgharrah replied in a way of '_I told you so_'.  
Merlin sighed at the dragon's obvious answer.  
"Morgana will know my secret."  
The dragon cocked it's head in confusion. Apparently there was a big misunderstanding between them.  
"What _should_ it have been?" Merlin asked critically.  
The warlock could tell Kilgharrah didn't want to say. He wasn't going to ask again. The world was in too much shit for him to show respect towards the elderly dragon. It became a staring contest though the dragon quickly gave in. He was a dragonlord and could demand to know. Telling him out of free will might lessen his anger to some extent.  
"You were supposed to die." He confessed.  
Merlin's mind was raging even more than before. Kilgharrah's so called destiny for him was to become a martyr, nothing more. What kind of a future was that? No life, no freedom, no family, no legacy but to die as a traitor.  
"Morgana is still out there!" Merlin argued that his destiny had not yet come to an end.  
Arthur was to unite Albion and if she still lived then it would not come to pass for the simple reason that someone needed to stop her.  
"I told you, warlock. I told you time and again to kill the witch." He said.  
Merlin shook his head in denial even thought it was quite possibly true. He blamed Kilgharrah for all of it. The secrets and vague riddles were his fault. Rather than being straight forward with him, Kilgharrah always waited for the least conventient time to tell the truth as he had done with Mordred's destiny to kill Arthur.  
"You should have chosen between Arthur and Morgana, you couldn't have both." The dragon scolded him.  
With every word the dragon uttered, with every secret he revealed, Merlin became more and more angry. The dragon spoke of choosing whereas, in the past, he had always said Arthur was the future King and Morgana was his nemesis.  
"You never said I had a choice in the matter. You took that choice from me!" Merlin shouted.  
Kilgharrah was taken aback by the gold in the dragonlord's eyes. Too late he realised that the words revealed his carefully placed betrayal. If anyone with magic was close by, they would have felt the magic surging through the air. Anyone else would just have seen a man staring at the dragon in anger.  
Merlin opened his mouth and spoke in the dragon tongue, _"I hereby exile you from Albion for a year and you shall visit me the moment you enter its border so I may pass judgement once more."  
_This time it was Kilgharrah's turn to be surprise. His dragonlord was sending him into exile. Merlin didn't banish him for all eternity, that was foolish, but he needed him to be gone so he could clear his head. A year was plenty of time and a mere moment in a dragon's great lifespan.  
"Merlin, please-"  
"NO!" Merlin denied him any discussion. It was a dragon's last resort at refusing a dragonlord's command. End of discussion meant he had to obey.  
Kilgharrah went into the air without another word or warning. He was speechless and the future was so very full of uncertainties that any vague warning would be in vain.

As the dragon faded from view Merlin noticed the clouds grew darker. The soft drizzle would soon turn to a heavy rain. He should find shelter. This was the Valley of the Fallen Kings, there should be plenty tiny caves where he could find shelter. One just had to know where they were and Merlin didn't.

Morgana roamed the forest as she usually did. She refused to rely on Agravaine for everything. Mushrooms were abundant in the Valley and there was plenty of wildlife to live on. Whenever her spy reported back to her it was not unusual for him to bring something such as food or wine. She would accept it in the most appauling fashion such as putting it on a shelf and letting it rot or, in the case of wine, smash the bottle whenever he would fail her.

Twigs snapped and Morgana looked around to see where it came from. There, in the middle of _her_ forest, walked Merlin. She had felt some grief when she heard he would be executed but ultimately she found that he got what he deserved. Morgana noticed he wasn't even looking where he was going. He was at the ground with his hands in his pockets.  
"Merlin!" She shouted in both surprise and anger.  
Part of her was curious how he had escaped from his own execution. He looked at her and found it strange not to see her as an enemy. That didn't make her any less dangerous though.  
"I should have known Arthur would never follow through with it." She smiled weakly as a way of taunting him but he didn't retort.  
The young man put his back against a nearby tree and sighed.  
"What do you want, Morgana?" He asked.  
Finally he looked her in the eye and, to her, something didn't feel right. It wasn't the upbeat manservant he was before. Something had changed. The joy had faded from his eyes and was replaced by a hard stare. Could it be Arthur did not help him escape and left him to die?  
"What happened?" It sounded like there was concern in her voice but Merlin didn't let it get to him.  
"Nothing." He answered reluctantly ,"He said he'd help me and he did nothing."  
Her lips parted. Arthur was going to let him be executed? They were thick as thieves, nothing could tear them apart.  
"How did you escape?" She wondered out loud.  
The question rang the warning bells inside his head. Kilgharrah and Gaius told him to keep it secret but both of them were merely old men. They had great knowledge but their wisdom did not save him from execution and neither did it ease the suffering brought onto him by destiny. They didn't have an answer for the dreaded world that now existed. All they did was make the choices for him, choices he should have made for himself. Gaius had left sorcery behind him and Kilgharrah did not interact with the world itself. Relics of the past or so the saying goes.  
"Magic." Merlin confessed. If it wasn't for the serious look on his face Morgana would have thought he was joking.  
"Gaius." Morgana concluded with something of approval in her voice but Merlin shook his head.  
He took yet another deep breath.  
"Mine. I have magic." He confessed.  
There was no point in hiding it anymore. His secrets only hurt those closest to him. Agravaine would probably be heading for her hovel already. She would know, either from him or someone that witnessed the act.

Morgana's mind needed a moment to process this new information. The first word that came to mind was _kin_, rather than traitor. She wondered how powerful he was. Powerful enough to escape from Camelot which implied some sort of proficiency. He wasn't almighty. He couldn't vanquish the hellhound on his own for example. Just how long had he gone unnoticed? One thing seemed certain. He practised the arcane arts against her.  
"Your betrayal runs much deeper than I thought."  
Morgana's words had less of an impact than she had hoped for. No doubt his execution had left him feeling a bit numb.  
"Join me." She said, "Help me conquer Camelot and I'll forgive you."  
Merlin caught himself considering her proposal. Destiny had forsaken him but Arthur's destiny, although uncertain, might still be fulfilled. A glimmer of hope.  
"No." He said.  
He would not let his emotions get the best of him as had happened with Morgana. Arthur wasn't to be damned. There was a chance he would still grow to become the one and future King. Morgana frowned at him and Merlin knew she only saw friends and foes and nothing in between. He knew what came next.

_"Hleap on baec!"_  
_"Shieldan!"_ Merlin countered and her spell seemed to fly over the invisible shield like the sun would blind glass. _"Feall!"  
_Morgana heard the treebranch break above her and moved out of the way just in time. She chuckled at the pathetic piece of wood._  
_"Is that all you've..." She trailed off. He had disappeared, it had merely been a distraction. "Coward!" She shouted in the hope that he would betray his position.  
_"I've fought sorcerers before." _His telepathy took her aback.  
Her only combat experience was that one duel with Emrys and she didn't win. He had the upper hand and it made her incredibly uncomfortable.  
_"This is MY forest, dammit."_ She cursed in her mind.  
Somewhere she hoped he had left but such was not the case.  
"_Forb fleoghe._"  
A sudden force blew her to the ground. She looked in the direction the blow had come from and saw the bright light of fire. Morgana rolled out of the way barely in time as the fire scorched the earth her body laid seconds ago. She quickly scrambled to her feet and her eyes sought his lanky figure amongst the trees.  
_"He's controls fire. HE'S THROWING BLOODY FIRE AT ME!"_ Panic and fear ruled her mind.  
This fight could not be won. The High Priestess refused to believe he was more powerful than her but he _was_ more experienced and had a strategy to go with it. With great caution she backed away from him, or where she thought he was.

Merlin could hear her leave and let her go. He didn't intend to kill her. She just needed to know she shouldn't try to mess with him. The sky was still filled with rainy clouds but finding shelter didn't seem all that important anymore. He had to move on. There was one last place he could go to. It was further away from Camelot than Morgana's hovel and neither of them would look for him there.

**AN:**

I promised you an evil Merlin and he will come but it takes time. Being evil is simply not in his nature.

*There are some issues with the site at the moment. The 10th chapter isn't accessible for some reason.  
Should this issue not be resolved soon, I will (also) continue the story elsewhere.


	10. A Place to Call Home

**AN:  
**At Jolokas: No, but she's got other (possibly surprising) thoughts in this chapter.  
At hanipman: Next time Merlin and Arthur meet, Merlin will be incredibly badass.

Thank you for the overwhelming amount of reviews. That's why I'm ashamed to say that this is a boring chapter without dialogue. To make up for it, the next chapter will be uploaded either tomorrow or the day after.

**A Place to Call Home**

It was a relatively short ride from the Valley of the Fallen Kings but Merlin was exhausted when he finally arrived at the ominous little boat. He pushed off with his magic and gazed upon the Isle of the Blessed with different eyes. Before the Great Purge it was the absolute pinnacle of magic. Half a century ago this little island was brimming with magic of all sorts and a beacon of hope not only towards sorcerers. People came from everywhere were welcome to find healing and guidance. Then the Purge brought ruin and despair. Ever since then it had been abused by black magic; first by Nimueh and then again to tear the veil. Now it was to be his sanctuary from Camelot and Morgana. Their war did not concern him. He just wanted to be left alone.

Merlin wasn't at ease as he walked through the debris left by the war. He crossed the courtyard where Nimueh handed him the Cup of Life and observed the spot where Morgana had broken the veil. He could still feel the charge of magic in the air.

_"A reminder of what I mustn't become."_ He thought.

This would be his home and it was time he became acquainted with it. Thankfully it wasn't hide-and-seek. Letting magic slip through his hands he could feel it pull in several directions. Merlin decided to follow them. One led to an old library where most bookcases had been burned to the ground. Books were scattered everywhere and only a rare few were still readable. The second path led to a great hall of which the ceiling showed the stars even though it was bright as day outside. Merlin had heard of magic chambers but thought they did not, or at least no longer, existed. This was a magical observatory showing stars and planets.

The third path was the greatest surprise of all. It first led to a room that seemed to have been spared by the purge. It had several chairs made of a dark wood upholstered with blue leather, there were several bookcases of which half was filled with books, a desk which had been seen as expensive long ago and finally a fireplace which still burned with a self-sustaining fire. The path didn't end there but led Merlin through another door into a narrow corridor. There were doors on either side of him but magic pulled him to one door in particular. Opening it he saw a double bed with red covers, a wardrobe and an oak desk, littered with books, with matching chair. The floor was covered with runes Merlin did not know the meaning of.

The warlock opened another door in the corridor. The room had the same layout but lay in ruins, completely scorched black by fire. It was clear that whoever had been living there had tried to fix the place up a bit. Was it Nimueh? Not unlikely.

He went back to Nimueh's room and took a look at the books on the desk. They were complete. No burn marks and, quickly flipping through them, there didn't seem to be any pages missing. But besides all the literature with their titles on the front, there was a notebook. It was a journal of sorts but it spoke of events happening years ago. He sat down on the bed and began reading.

It was indeed Nimueh's chamber he was in. Her name did not appear but the words 'ragged red dress' said enough. The person writing the journal did 'talk' like Nimueh but that's where the comparison ended. This woman was in mourning, nothing vengeful about it. She blamed herself for everything, her _mistake_. The journal entailed how she tried to restore the Isle to its former glory but it would take ages to do so. Sometimes she would reminisce about the order of things when the Isle was seemingly untouchable. Within the Isle the ranks were novice, apprentice, sorcerer, priest and high priest. It was the same for women although the priestesses and high priestesses stood higher than their male counterparts due to their greater connection to the Triple Goddess. Besides the natural order of things there were seers, enchanters, healers, alchemists, apothecaries and, usually away from the Isle, advisors. All in all, the Isle was a city in its own right.

Nimueh hadn't always been as evil as she was when he met her. She was an accomplished sorceress with her own chambers albeit a small one. High Priestess was a title that came with skill and knowledge which could mean she either became High Priestess after the Purge or that her room or study had been destroyed. Merlin's view on Nimueh changed but not much. He always pitied her for being consumed by hatred. Now he pitied her for trying so hard to fix things only to fall in the end.

_"Remind you of someone?"_ Spoke a voice in the back of his head.  
Merlin physically shook his head. He knew the danger and saw what would become of him if he truly lost his senses. It would never come to that. Dismissing all thoughts he continued reading.

The journal was completely filled but ended without abruptly. It was possible she stopped writing in her journal after that. Merlin took this time to take a peek in the other rooms connected to the corridor. Most of them were in ashes but one of them contained something of an altar with a bowl of water upon it and another was an alchemy chamber. Nimueh didn't just have her own room, she had her own wing.

Gaius lacked the equipment to properly educate a sorcerer. Here, where the heart of magic once lay, Merlin had everything he needed to become just that.

* * *

Morgana sat in her hovel thinking over what she had done. Merlin was a sorcerer and a powerful one at that. Although he had declined her offer, attacking him was a mistake. Their duel had no victor but it was quite clear he was an equal and not one to be trifled with. She thought he would be either friend or foe when all he wanted to do was withdraw from their war. Throughout his stay in Camelot he never said a word to her about it. She was angry with him and yet, at the same time, pitied him. He considered Arthur a friend and protected him while the young King would let him die so easily after all they had been through. Of course the idiot didn't know about his manservant's magic. He could be so very thick at times. It had always been him, Merlin the manservant, which kept Camelot safe.

_"What if Merlin was Emrys' apprentice?"_ It was an alarming thought that sent a shiver down her spine.  
_"He was his pawn as I was Morgause's. So when he couldn't do it, Emrys would step in. The Serkets, the Eye of the Phoenix, the Fommorroh. It all makes sense."  
_Morgana smiled slightly as she realised something.  
_"He betrayed me for Emrys and now he will follow him no more. My magic challenged him and with Merlin's help I can defeat him. Emrys doesn't have to be my doom. But can I do it? Can I change his mind before Arthur does?"_

**AN:  
**The world of Merlin had _so_ much potential. We've never really explored the Isle of the Blessed and the backstories of many heroes and villains has remained unexplored.  
There is so much more to a villain if you know their backstory. That's why Morgana is such a wonderful character.


	11. Mistakes

**AN:  
**

An early update, just like I promised!

At the stargate time traveller: The reason Morgana doesn't see that Merlin is Emrys is because she is fixated on finding a way to destroy Emrys. She is looking for a way out and that is all she wants to see.

**Mistakes**

_"Can I change his mind before Arthur does?"_

Weeks had passed since Merlin escaped his execution, with magic no less, it worried Arthur to no end. Before the execution the young King had asked for more time to investigate but to Queen Elena that wasn't an option. They had a suspect who walked the corridors at an ungodly hour, they had the murder weapon and a witness, a loyal servant of Gawant, that saw him there along with several of the guards. No one saw the actual murder but there were strong implications that he had done it. Arthur couldn't show her the blood crystals as they had been wiped clean of the true murderer's identity - the maid that found it had accidentally cut herself with it. Showing it to her now seems like showing off the power of magic. Earlier, Gwen had suggested he bargain with her for more time but that didn't work. Elena wanted justice for her father's death and she wanted it to be over. Nothing could make her change her mind. Merlin's magic only strengthened her belief that he was the murderer. Why else would a sorcerer risk his life walking in the lion's den as a servant? The Queen of Gawant departed the day after the execution and spoke a few words of comfort either out of kindness or respect. The alliance had wavered but did not fall. Furthermore, Merlin was now a wanted criminal for treason and magic. Arthur couldn't fathom how Merlin had kept it secret. It was Merlin, Merlin the Clumsy, Merlin the Servant, Merlin the Girl. There were hardly any secrets between them and then, all of a sudden, Merlin used magic. How did he manage with the stress of such a secret?

The King paid Gaius a visit some time ago and he explained how often his ward had used it for the better. It made things much, much clearer. And yet, Arthur was confused. His father preached that magic was evil but now the lines had blurred. Perhaps that was what his friend meant with thinking in shades of grey rather than black and white. There were so many questions in his mind and no one other than the man himself could answer them. Arthur's every instinct said he should go after him though, in his heart, Merlin's fate was undecided. Damnation or deliverance? Even if Merlin could never return to Camelot it didn't mean he could just forget about him. Merlin had saved him more than once, he deserved some sort of reward. That wasn't the complete truth. Would it really be a reward for the past or was it insurance for the future? Merlin had every reason to join Morgana in her war against Camelot. That was the greatest fear of all.

Arthur had tried discussing the matter with some of the Knights but that didn't go very well. Percival was as silent as ever and, surprisingly enough, so was Gwaine. Sir Leon told him to do what he thought right and Elyan avoided the matter entirely by stating he didn't know him well enough. Gwen refused to answer his questions and blatantly scolded him for being so careless. Her words reminded him of what Merlin said about 'caring at all'. He (verbally) lashed out towards Gwen who now refused to speak with him entirely. His uncle seemed to be the only one actually capable of voicing his view on the subject. It made for a lonely King whose shoulders wore a burden he couldn't bear on his own.

Gwaine found himself in the most unlikely place of all. Gwen's home. She had seen him sitting by the well in the lower town without his armour on and, most disturbingly, silent. Anyone could tell he wasn't alright, none of them was. They talked a lot, mostly about Merlin, and slowly but surely the arrived at the events that led up to his execution.  
"He told me he had magic." Gwaine confessed.  
The Knight hadn't told Arthur about it seeing as he didn't need to anymore. He had thoughts of leaving Camelot but Merlin might need a friend should he ever decide to return for whatever reason that might be.  
"When?" Gwen was curious.  
"The night before his execution. He wanted me to tell Arthur after he was dead."  
Gwen was lost in thought for a moment. Morgana was the most powerful sorceress she knew and she let it corrupt her. Associating Merlin with magic turned things upside down. She didn't lose two friends because of they had magic. She lost them because of the ban. All it brought them was pain.  
"He was going to let it happen, let himself be killed?" She asked.  
Gwaine nodded silently. Gwen covered her mouth and tears began to run down her cheeks. It was sick and gut-wrenching to think someone would let himself die like that. She remembered neither he nor Arthur had spoken out against the trial. The Knight brought her to his chest and rubbed her back so she would know she was not alone in her pain. Merlin might not have died but that didn't mean it hadn't left a hole in their hearts.  
"He's still alive. There's comfort to be found in that." Gwaine did his best to comfort her.  
The woman's sobbing slowly eased into the occasional sniff. At last she had found someone who understood the pain that bothered her so.  
"He'll come to his senses." Both knew Gwaine meant Arthur with 'he' though Gwen did not share the faith he seemed to have in the King.  
Merlin had always acted as his friend's conscience and Gwen worried that, without him, it left Arthur without one. She made up her mind and removed Gwaine's hands from her back.  
"There's something I have to do." She said determinedly.

Gwen was on her way to Arthur study. Her mind was made up. Merlin, magic or no magic, was a good man. He always was. Things needed to change and even yesterday wasn't soon enough. If Arthur didn't put things right, then she would have to do it for him. Changing his mind wasn't going to be pretty but it was necessary. If he didn't do it then he wasn't the man she thought he was.

She gently knocked on the door of Arthur's study and slowly opened the door.  
"Arthur?" She asked as she stepped inside.  
With weary eyes the King looked up from his work. He was glad to see her but her visits hadn't been reasons for joy since Merlin's near-execution.  
"There's something I want to talk to you about." She said.  
"Merlin."  
She nodded as she moved closer to Arthur's desk.  
"I know I can't ask you to bring Merlin back." Gwen admitted, "That's why I want you to lift the ban on magic."  
Arthur frowned at the idea. If magic was free then Morgana could openly recruit an army of sorcerers.  
"Sorry?"  
"Magic isn't evil, Arthur. It can be used for good, Merlin has proven that." Gwen pleaded for her friend's case.  
"Who says he hasn't joined Morgana and wants to remove me from the throne?" Arthur asked.  
Gwen shook her head in disbelief. Merlin would never act against Camelot and the people he had protected for so long.  
"Who says he has?" Gwen argued.  
"Reason." Arthur said as he looked down in shame, "I lied about having a plan."  
"I noticed!" She snapped.  
A moment of silence followed. It gave Arthur the chance to recollect his thoughts and for Gwen to find more ideas on how to get what she wanted, for Merlin.  
"I can't lift the ban for the sake of one person." Arthur said.  
He was trying to explain that his hands were tied but Gwen didn't think it good enough.  
"You owe it to him!" She said in outrage.  
She remembered the times Merlin saved them, even as a couple. The kiss that broke his cursed infatuations with Lady Vivian was _his_ idea. They owed him more than they would ever know.  
"Agravaine said to do nothing until I know what has become of him."  
It was blind faith in her opinion. The man apparently didn't know Merlin the way they did. If he did then he would know Merlin had a heart of gold and his loyalty was unquestionable.  
"And I'm telling you that Merlin would never help her." She kept trying to convince him but to no avail.  
Arthur understood her concern but she was too close to the fire to give an object view.  
"Guinevere," He used her full name which she knew was as an ill omen, "with all due respect, you're a servant, not my advisor."  
Her jaw dropped. That's what he thought of her, a servant?  
"Sire,_ with all due respect_, maybe it's best we just stayed friends."  
He heard she was upset along with sudden distance and formality but the words alone were enough.  
"What? Why? There's nothing wrong with us." He knew it was because of Merlin but it didn't stop him from trying.  
"I don't understand you anymore, Arthur. Merlin was your friend and you did nothing to save him. You even assume that if he's not with you, he'll be against you. But do you really think he'll help Morgana when she's tortured him in the past?"  
She opened the door to leave but looked back at Arthur one more time. She saw a flash of guilt in his eyes but it wasn't enough yet.  
"I hope you change your mind before it _is_ too late." Gwen said referring to both Merlin and their relationship.

* * *

Later that day, in the middle of the night, Agravaine du Bois travelled through the Valley of the Fallen Kings. The man was disgusted by his nephew's weakness. He was being torn apart by Merlin's revelation. The boy was no threat to the Kingdom but Morgana had convinced him, Agravaine, to keep Arthur from contacting him until they, he and Morgana, knew what to do.

Dismounting at the witch's hovel, Agravaine wondered how much praise he would get for what he brought her.  
"Milady." He called moments before opening the door.  
Morgana was reading a book by the table at the other end of the room. She had become a lot calmer with the knowledge that Merlin would no longer interfere with her plans. What annoyed Agravaine was that she also seemed to be less interested in him.  
"What news do you have for me, Agravaine?" She asked without looking up.  
"It may please you to know that Guinevere has put an end to her relationship with Arthur."  
The High Priestess smiled to herself. Arthur and Gwen were a couple that only worked when things were well. It seemed that, without Merlin, things were starting to fall apart by themselves.  
"In an argument, no doubt." She replied.  
"A very interesting argument, milady."  
The smug look on his face told her this would be as surprising as his previous bit of news.  
"She wants Arthur to lift the ban on magic for Merlin's sake. He is considering to do it." He reported.  
"Considering isn't enough." She said vindictively, "What would put his decision in our favour?"  
Agravaine took pride in her little outburst and replied, "Merlin."  
She sighed at the man's ignorant answer, "Be specific."  
"Arthur's mind is bothered by Merlin's magic and wants to find out if magic is evil by talking to him."  
"I'm sure you've pointed out the flaw in that plan. He doesn't want to be found."  
She hadn't really tried but, when listening carefully, one would always hear rumours of possible sorcerers. There had been no change as far as she could tell.  
"Correct." Agravaine continued, "That's why he has commanded me to take several Knights across the border with Essetir and bring back Hunith of Ealdor."  
"Arthur wants to kidnap his mother?" Morgana never thought he'd go that far, "How dare he!"  
"I fail to see how this upsets you."  
"Because it's _none_ of your business." She snapped, "Delay them as much as you can."  
"What are you going to do, Milady?"  
"I'm going to find Merlin."

**AN:  
**Gwen breaking up with Arthur may seem a bit extreme but all she really wants is for Arthur to see that he's wrong.


	12. Merlin, Sorcerer

**AN:**

Wow, holy cow, big reviews.  
Truth be told, I hoped to silently get away with Arthur being ooc.  
Possible motives are:  
1. He couldn't break Merlin out because Gawant also had troops within the walls and he couldn't send them away like others.  
2. Using magic for Merlin's escape is something Arthur wouldn't do without being coaxed to (usually by Merlin but that couldn't/didn't happen).  
3. As much as Arthur is Merlin's friend, he's also rash, self-centred (keeping up appearances) and sometimes a bit dim.  
4. Politics are, even now, a minefield. Incompetence (letting an assassin escape) _can_ be reason for war.  
I can't justify Arthur being ooc any further. More than anything, I need Merlin to have someone to fight.  
Some of you said 'stupid Arthur' and it _will_ be addressed when next they meet.

**Merlin, Sorcerer**

_"I'm going to find Merlin."_

Morgana did not have a plan when she said she was going to find the sorcerer. There were only the obvious facts that he would not be in Camelot or Ealdor. Having magic herself, Morgana knew that after becoming skilful one does not consider 'retiring' an option. He was too powerful to give it all up. At some point the arts became a way of life. A sorcerer like him would never settle down and give up practicing. Where would he have gone? There were the Catha, the Druids, the Blood Guard and the Saxons in the north. Apart from factions there were many abandoned castles in and surrounding Camelot.

Likeliness was what it all boiled down to. Merlin would never join the Catha or seek refuge with the Blood Guard. The Saxons had declared themselves an enemy of Camelot so he wouldn't go there either. Having been a manservant, it also seemed unlikely that he would seek refuge in a castle. The druids were difficult to find but he had found them before. There were several groups roaming Camelot. It would take a few days but hopefully she would find him before he heard about his mother from someone else.

Whenever she strained to hear something there would nearly always be whispers. That's how she knew where to find the druids. Over the next two days she found several druid encampments and although he wasn't there, there were whispers of him. Some thought him more dangerous than her while others suggested he should kill her and free them all.

Morgana could hear the druids converse telepathically and casually approached the encampment. Someone noticed her and a shout rang through the telepathic airwaves, silencing them all. It didn't mean they stopped talking. They only talked directly to the person they wished to talk with rather than letting others join in unannounced. The witch did not care. Earlier she had passed through two other druid camps and gotten the same treatment. They looked at her from the corner of their eyes. Their peaceful nature did not extend to great hospitality, certainly not to Camelot's greatest enemy. They would not hesitate to fight her if she were to harm anyone.

Slowly she moved to the centre of the encampment and there, by the fire, sat Merlin. He had noticed her before she did him and his face was a blank canvas. She couldn't read anything from his usually so animated face. The boy had changed from simple manservant to serious sorcerer. So far the change could only be seen in his attitude but he was bound to have changed and advanced magically as well. Seen his power and the absence of Arthur's ridiculous chores, she dare not imagine just how much it might have developed over the past few weeks.

Merlin wasn't surprised to see her, not at all. He suspected she might ask him to join her or want a rematch. In the past that would have made him anxious but nowadays he couldn't care less. He _knew_ he was strong than her. He had left the Isle of the Blessed nearly a week ago and travelled with the druids ever since. Nimueh's loneliness could have fuelled her lust for vengeance and Merlin believed that socialising with the druids would prevent such a thing. The only benefit he had of travelling with them was the access to plants and ingredients he might be capable of using in potions and such. Discussing spells and advanced magic was impossible. The magical capability of the druids and their leaders was far beneath his. Merlin did not even try to discuss the foundations of magic after he miserably failed to explain it the first time. They were scared of him and his knowledge of magic. He had theories which, when proven to be correct, would level the playing field between the magical minority and any King or Queen.

Without even a telepathic word he got up and took the shortest path to the outskirts of the camp.  
"Your petty vengeance doesn't interest me." Merlin spoke before she could even tell him why she was there in the first place.  
The malice in his voice surprised her but she quickly recovered and discarded what he just said.  
"Don't flatter yourself." She mocked him and revelled in the confusion on his face.  
It wasn't clear whether it was her mocking him that confused her or the fact that she really was there for a different reason. The seriousness of the topic to be discussed wiped away the urge to mock him further, insult him or anything otherwise unpleasant.  
"Arthur intends to take your mother from Ealdor so you will return to Camelot." She said.  
"Why can't that bloody idiot just..." He trailed off whilst shaking his head.  
The prat didn't understand that he just wanted to be left alone. It was selfish of the both of them but Arthur was the one nearly crossing the line.  
"I'm sorry." Morgana tried to establish a certain level of kindness or merely civility between them.  
It was in the hope of not being seen as an enemy but it didn't turn out as expected.  
"Oh spare me your sympathies. What? Did you think I'd be grateful and join you? Don't forget you're the reason he's suspicious of every grain of magic." The warlock blamed her for pretty much everything.  
Morgana didn't just take it. He accused her of abusing her magic and although that might've been true, he did nothing to prevent it. Morgause was her guiding light where Merlin stuck to the shadows.  
"My magic scared me and you were _SO_ helpful that you sent me elsewhere!" The witch countered.  
"They said you would become my enemy and to tell you nothing and you proved them right!" He shouted.  
Over the years Morgana had learned to read people such as Uther and Arthur, that's why she usually knew which buttons to press to get what she wanted. With a bit of effort she saw more than the anger he displayed so openly. There was pain in there somewhere. The meaning of his words also made her wonder. He spoke of 'they', plural. Was it as she thought? Did Emrys tell him that she was his enemy? Who was the other person? Gaius came to mind because he knew who Emrys was. If that were true then he too would pay for what he had done to her innocent, beloved Merlin. People had played a very cruel game with them.  
"Still..." Merlin continued on a calmer note, "I'm glad you were worried about my mother."  
The witch merely nodded and left in the knowledge that this encounter was as 'good' as it would ever get. Merlin packed his bags and left without another thought. If this was one of her schemes then she would receive pain beyond measure. As for Arthur, did he not realise how big the mistake he was making really was?

Morgana thought about him on her way home. She didn't understand him. Finally she got around the fact that he had magic and a few weeks later he had changed radically. The snide remarks and feigned civility were replaced by patronizing insults. What had happened to make him so angry and malicious? If anyone was to blame then it would be Arthur. Time and again, Arthur ruined things. If Merlin had been a regular servant with the same exceptional talents, what would have happened then? Arthur mistreated servants, lied about the past to save his petty honour, took Gwen's loyalty from her, disrespected the Old Religion, instigated war with Caerleon and finally tried to execute Merlin. He even denied the existence of the happy and innocent memory in which she beat him with the sword. Finally, he had destroyed the man she once thought she loved. King Arthur, the King that ruins everything.

**AN:**

What happened to Merlin? He's very ooc but it has a reason. We'll get to the bottom of it after Morgana's greatest nightmare (you'll know what it is the moment it happens).


	13. The King that ruins everything

**AN: **A lot of cursing and exceptional rudeness (from Merlin) in this chapter. It may seem out of character but it'll be explained further into the story.

I've considered altering the plot time and again but it seriously messed with what I have planned (and partially written) so far.  
At The PhantomHokage: I'll be honest. I was so occupied with this chapter that I may have neglected the previous one a bit (it's not 2K words which I usually aim for).

_**King Arthur, the King that ruins everything**_

Merlin snuck into Camelot in the dead of night. The streets were empty because of the curfew set by the King. There were plenty of shadows for him to hide but proved to be unnecessary as there were no guards patrolling the streets. As he passed by Gwen's house he hesitated. She was probably worried sick and part of him wanted to see her again as well. He decided against it. He didn't think she'd mind that his mother had priority right now. As for Gwaine and the other Knights, he was sure they would understand.

Reaching the citadel was no longer as easy as it once was. All the secret passages had been uncovered by Morgana's repeated attempts to take the throne. The idea of teleporting in had come to mind but he lacked experience and that made it rather inaccurate. Merlin boldly decided to take the front entrance. He wasn't an enemy with evil intentions but if Arthur left him no choice, he would become just that. The warning bells would ring on the very moment they saw him but he didn't think anyone really wanted to face him. If they did, he'd make things perfectly clear for them.

Coming up the path he could see the guards notice him. Merlin couldn't see past the torches that obscured their faces but he could tell they were in a hurry. Again he felt the urge to visit an old friend, Gaius, and once more he decided not to. Gaius had been as blind as he was. During the Purge he failed to act against Uther and then his inaction almost caused his ward's death. Reaching the square he was in full view of most of the guards there. A brave few of them drew their weapons and carefully approached him.

They were trying to intimidate him but Merlin wasn't discouraged in the slightest. His magic was stronger than ever before and their swords paled in comparison.  
"I demand audience with King Arthur." His voice was flat and without emotion.  
There came no answer. None of the guards spoke but merely looked at each other from time to time. Merlin kept an eye on the castle. Lights travelled from corridor to corridor and more of them appeared over time. It was obvious that something was set in motion inside the castle. Not knowing what was going on unnerved Merlin but he did not let it show. The prat might just have trouble getting out of bed. The thought almost made him smile. Almost.

The double door leading to the great hall opened and revealed Sir Leon. The Knight approached the surrounded sorcerer anxiously. He told the guards to escort Merlin to the throne room. Merlin didn't do anything to pull them from the dream that they were in control. The throne room wasn't as empty as Merlin would have liked. At least a dozen guards stood on either size of the room.

There he was, sitting on the throne, wearing his crown. The _chair_ stood on a small podium so Kings and Queens would look down on those seeking audience. It made Arthur look down on him and, subconsciously, annoyed Merlin because it had always been like this. Before he arrived in Camelot, Arthur considered everyone to be beneath him. He was a spoiled child then and he still was. Arthur was nervous but tried not to let on. The man before him was a sorcerer and although he might still be a friend, he wasn't going to grovel. He had no choice, the decision wasn't his then and he regretted it but that didn't make it his fault. Arthur was glad that Gwen and Gaius weren't there. They would only have made things more difficult than they already were. Merlin's _escorts_ came to a halt in the middle of the room and took a few steps away.

"Where is she?" Merlin skipped formalities.  
"Calm down, she's fine. Don't worry." Arthur reassured him as if he would never harm her.  
The sorcerer could relate to Gwaine's hatred for nobility. They always lied about to truth to either comfort or scare their subjects. It was always the same and he was no different. The idiot claimed he wouldn't harm her but wasn't kidnapping exactly that?  
"Calm down? YOU KIDNAPPED HER!" He shouted.  
Merlin's sudden outburst took the King by surprise and one of the guards behind the sorcerer saw fit to take a step towards him. Did they _really_ think it would discourage him?  
The warlock looked at him over his shoulder and threatened in an ice cold voice, "One step closer and I'll fling you like a ragdoll."  
Arthur found it increasingly difficult to look at the man before him as Merlin. Merlin never threatened anyone so easily or violently. He was so different from the happy and adventurous manservant he had come to know as a dear friend. The warmth he carried around in a smile or the bounce in his step was gone.  
"I needed to talk to you." The King explained.  
He knew Arthur's reasoning behind it but found it to be completely wrong. It always happened like this. Arthur made a mistake and his manservant cleaned up after him, with magic or otherwise.  
"You should've told the druids. It would've found its way to me eventually." Merlin spoke as if it was obvious.  
"You left me with questions that need answering." The King replied in the infuriating tone of voice he always used when telling him to shut up.  
"I said _farewell_. That was to be the end of it. This was uncalled for." Merlin's voice grew angrier.  
"Things change." Arthur replied and Merlin stifled a laugh.  
The man spoke as if the kingdom bent its knee to serve him on his every whim. Did he not understand that a sorcerer should never be treated as such?  
"You truly are your father's son." The sorcerer mocked him.  
"What's that supposed to mean?" Arthur asked annoyed.  
"All you see is your own righteousness. _Things change?_ No, it's just you finally pulling your head out your arse!" Merlin vented.  
Arthur was in shock. He had never spoken to him like that. A bit of banter he was used to but this was nothing but a cruel insult. How little of Merlin was left in this sorcerer that had replaced him? Less and less did the King believe that Merlin still existed. Freedom for magic didn't seem like an option anymore, not if it turned a just man into a cruel one.  
"This isn't how I left you, Arthur. I tried so hard to make you a better man than your father. A man with a fair rule and listened to the heart of his Kingdom. A man who would conquer their hearts rather than strike fear in them. I _trusted_ you to be that person and for that I did terrible thing so you wouldn't have to. Before you even ask, Godwyn was not one of them."  
This was Merlin who was speaking, not the sorcerer. Arthur couldn't see where one ended and the other began. He could see how much faith Merlin had in him but one question had to be asked.  
"Then why do the treacherous thing of keeping your magic secret from me?"  
Merlin had to do his utmost to keep his anger inside. _"TREACHEROUS?!"_ His mind screamed but thankfully it didn't lash out to anyone. It seemed unfair for the King to use such a word when it was him that ordered his execution and betrayed his trust.  
"Are you really SO BLIND?!" Merlin ranted, "LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE! YOU KIDNAPPED MY MOTHER!"  
The King did not know how to counter something that was inescapably true. Merlin, however, then made a small mistake.  
"I had to hear it from Morgana. I'd almost say that makes her better than you." Merlin spat.  
"Take that back." Arthur demanded like a tantrum child. He refused to be compared to Morgana.  
"Your fat arse may sit on that throne but that doesn't mean you have control over me." Merlin further insulted his former master.  
"Show some respect, I still have your mother." The King replied before realising that he just crossed the line.  
"I'm warning you, Arthur. Don't make an enemy out of me or I will bring your nightmares into this world and twist them so far that you'll beg for oblivion. And giving you that would be kindness."  
A threat such as that, with pure venom oozing from it, proved to Arthur that his father was correct when he said magic corrupted. It was a power with such a simple name but it blackened the hearts of even the most righteous of men. He had seen how it had corrupted,- correction- how it had _destroyed _Merlin. Hunith was innocent and would go free but Merlin would only receive safe passage out of Camelot. After that nothing would ever be the same again. They were enemies, period.

hr/

Hunith's prison call wasn't extremely horrible. She had a bed and a few pretty decent meals. Some of the guards looked at her suspiciously. They gave her cold stares as if she were the devil. Word of her son's execution and magical escape had reached Ealdor not long ago. She felt horrible. She wanted to help him find his way back but knew that she couldn't. The only person to give her some comfort was Gwen. She had become quite a woman since they last met. The girl assured her that she'd do everything she could to help Merlin. Arthur had spoken some words meant to comfort her but they lost their charm through prison bars. He was up to something. She was helpless to save her son from whatever Camelot's King had planned for him.

One of the guards entered the prison and told the jailor to be ready in case they needed to 'use' her. Merlin had arrived and she knew not what they planned to do with him. The laws of Camelot stated that anyone with magic should be executed and those laws had remained unchanged. They were using her as a bargaining chip, his life for hers. Whatever hope she had in Arthur was lost with this despicable act of cowardice. She had once said that they were two sides of the same coin but the meaning had changed. They had become the _opposing_ sides of the same coin. The guard had left and the jailor approached herself. He wanted to ready her, to tie her hands together, for when her appearance was needed. The cell door opened and she followed him to his desk at the end of the corridor. On the desk laid the prisoner log, rope and a bottle of red wine which would have been payment for Merlin's executioner had it ended in death. The jailor picked up the rope but Hunith, desperately wanting to keep her son alive, went with her instincts. She snatched the bottle from the desk and hit him against his head with it. The poor man, who was only doing his job, fell to the floor. Hunith did not immediately notice the blood trickling down from his hair. _"Is he dead?"_ She felt her knees go weak but willed herself to remain standing. Her son was still out there and she feared he was willing to die for her should the need arise. She had lost her husband to Uther and she would not lose her son to his.

She placed the bloodied bottle on the desk and took from the jailor the only weapon she could find; a club. Then she climbed the steps leading out of the prison. Her heart was pounding loudly and yet she could hear the tiniest sound. She carefully opened the door and saw two guards playing a board game of some kind - she couldn't see because she was facing the back of one of them. She snuck up behind the first and as she clubbed his head in she pushed the board game onto the other. The distraction gave her just enough time to slam the club against his head as well.

The corridors of the castle followed and Hunith slightly panicked as they were different from how she remembered them. She went through several other corridors, carefully avoiding any guard, until one of them noticed the club in her hands. There was shouting but she couldn't afford to be caught. She had to find him, her son, or all would have been in vain. As he drew his sword, the guard warned her but she had no intention of listening, she had to keep running. After going around the corner she heard shouting and she could tell that it was Merlin. She opened the door and saw Merlin standing to her left and Arthur sitting to her right.

The King was surprised to see Hunith without a guard and carrying a weapon but not even he was as thick as not to realise what had happened.  
"Seize her!" He shouted with panicked voice as he now risked to lose his bargaining chip. Little did he know that he lost her already.  
The guard that pursued her hadn't heard the order through the thick metal of his helmet. He didn't know who the prisoner was and had only seen the bloodied club. All he saw was a dangerous, armed felon. None in the throne room would ever forget her surprised stare when the tip of a blade revealed itself before her and the handle was obscured from sight.

**AN: **  
You probably saw it coming. Hunith's (accidental) death is a cheap way of turning Merlin against Arthur, I know. It's difficult to find something that would turn him against Arthur without making Arthur a tyrant beforehand. Therefor I tried to portray her as a little bit more than yet another victim. I wanted to give her something of a mother's fierceness, I feel like I owe her that.


	14. The Warlock's Gambit

**AN:**  
Long chapter is long.  
The violence is a slightly graphic at first but I doubt you'll disapprove.

**The Warlock's Gambit**

_None in the throne room would ever forget her surprised stare when the tip of a blade revealed itself before her and the handle was obscured from sight._

Was he still breathing? Was she? Did the world slow down or his mind speed up? Everything was blurred, colours had become black and white and time nearly stopped. The metal retracted itself from her and revealed her murderer. Merlin didn't know what he was doing but the guard was launched at the wall and fell down with a lot of noise. His armour was dented inwards and those closest to him were able to see the texture of stone imprinted upon it. Merlin held his mother. Did he walk over or did he run? Nothing was important except her. Hunith smiled at her son, her beautiful, crying son. No one interfered. No one dared to. The air seemed to burn his eyes and lungs. Her hand touched his face and it was just as precious as when he was born. She didn't tell him not to cry because he would and neither did she lie that everything would be alright. It didn't need to be said. They understood each other without words. Her tale was coming to an end but she hoped that his would be long and prosperous. She laid her hand on her chest and slowly closed her eyes. He could feel her weight shift but she wasn't dead yet. He gently laid her on the floor and stood up straight with a single thought echoing through his mind. "_This isn't how it's supposed to be._"

One of the guards was approaching him while Arthur watched him with sympathy. He had warned Arthur and, although his mother would never approve of it, Merlin had every intention of making the King's life a waking nightmare. In the blink of an eye the brave but stupid guard was hurled all the way to the other side of the room and came crashing down with a sharp clang. Arthur stood up out of reflex and it just saved his life. Merlin's eyes just flashed gold and the entire throne was torn to bits.

Men began to shout, "Protect the King!"  
They came from all corners of the room and formed a defensive line before their King. Merlin conjured a flame in his hands and made the fires on the torches illuminating the hall grew. In this moment of confusion the warlock unleashed his anger upon the men in front of him. He raised his hand and fire engulfed them. Their armour, capable of protecting them from the fiercest of blows, turned against them and burned them on the inside. It was horrible to watch but Merlin didn't feel any emotion. He only felt anger. The sorcerer's display of power struck fear in the hearts of onlookers. Behind the now defeated guards stood no one. The coward had fled the moment he realised Merlin's magic was beyond their imagination.

He looked back at his mother and feelings came alive once more. He could search the castle for Arthur and kill everyone that came between them but his mother might not be past saving. Today wasn't the day for vengeance, today was a day of fear. He went back to his mother and transported them out of Camelot.

"Sire?" Agravaine asked unsure.  
The King was standing in the middle of the hallway, still shocked by what had transpired minutes ago. The warning bells destroyed the silence outside and echoed throughout the citadel but they didn't seem to register in Arthur's mind. Merlin wielded power that was far beyond Morgana's. It was unreal that a man that was once so humble could become so arrogant and bitter.  
"Arthur?" Agravaine tried once more and caught his attention.  
"Yes, sorry. What were you saying?" Arthur finally responded.  
For the first time Morgana's spy had to make an effort not to smile. He enjoyed seeing Arthur with such inner turmoil that it almost made him smile. The best thing about it was that there was no one to blame for it but himself. He was paving the way to his own downfall.  
"Nothing, I just wanted to make sure you're alright."  
"I'll be fine." Arthur lied.  
Already he was living a nightmare. Over the course of little more than a month, his best friend had become his most dangerous enemy. They shared a lot of happy memories but facing the truth it might be better to bury them. It was difficult for Arthur to realise that Merlin really had changed like that but part of it was his fault. Hunith's death - he thought she was dead - was irreversible and so would Merlin's anger towards him. Guilt was finally starting to set in. He, Arthur Pendragon, had brought a blanket of darkness around the world and it was thick enough to blind even the most faithful. A man had lost everything today and it made him a danger to everyone. It wasn't just the sorcerer that was slipping up, it was the king as well. Arthur had not only lost Merlin. He had lost Gwen's faith in him too. When word of Hunith's death would echo throughout the kingdom, Gaius would also start doubting his king.

Arthur went back to his room with a bottle of wine. He just sat there and poured himself a glass of alcohol. All he could do was worry. The wine swirled inside his glass but he didn't even sip it. This was his life. It was a storm in the glass of water but the waters were Camelot. After two hours of sitting, Gwen barged into the room.  
"What did you do?" She asked with tears in her eyes.  
It was disbelief that brought her before his desk. She didn't _want_ to believe what others told her. She wanted to hear it from him but the horror it had become was unspeakable.  
"I just wanted to talk to him." Arthur barely whispered.  
He never thought it would get so out of hand. He knew the gravity of what he had done but Gwen didn't see where it had gone wrong.  
"What I don't understand is why Hunith..." She trailed off as she saw Arthur avert his gaze in shame.  
Something told her that he had made another mistake considering Merlin's mother and she could pretty much guess what it was.  
"You didn't tell her anything, did you?" Asked Gwen.  
He had never told Hunith why she had been taken from her village. She could have assumed anything.  
"He's gone." Said Arthur, "He's not the same and because of me he never will be."  
Gwen hesitated. Although he had done it in the wrong way, he did try to make things right again. The idea of lifting the ban on magic _had_ made its home in Arthur's mind but he wanted to know who Merlin really was before deciding and it was only fair that he did. If only the manner in which he had 'summoned' the sorcerer had been different. Merlin was, and had always been, a sensitive soul. The execution had left him confused and possibly indecisive. Arthur's rash decision had clouded Merlin's judgement.

Looking at Arthur she could see that he was close to coming undone. It may have been selfish of her to think that he didn't want to do anything. He needed time to think and she pushed him to do something. She had said that, unless he lifted the ban, they would no longer be a couple. Was it unfair to say that he failed her? She thought so. He cared for her and she still cared for him. Right now, he needed her.

Light still burned inside her little hovel. Morgana couldn't sleep due to the severity of what was transpiring in Camelot. Something disturbed the ground close by. He made no effort to hide his footsteps so far from Camelot. The door opened and revealed her spy.  
"What news?" Morgana perked up.  
"He came and Hunith tried to escape on her own. She was killed right before his eyes."  
The witch sighed. Neither of them deserved that. Hunith was a good woman and Merlin shouldn't need to bear such pain, least of all alone. To watch a loved one pass away before your eyes was something that belonged to nightmares. It caused her pain and directed it at the idiot before her. Did the man not have a mind of his own? Agravaine really was a filthy serpent of a man. He had these disgusting feelings for her and it became more and more obvious how shallow they were. She had been angry at Arthur for involving Hunith but despite her outburst he never asked what she, Hunith, meant to her. Morgana had felt something with Hunith which she hadn't experienced for a long time. Hunith had been motherly. It was a beautiful thing to see and even more delightful to experience. It was one of the things in life that should never be harmed. It was something Agravaine failed to see and failed to protect.  
"Can you do _nothing_ right?!" She shouted in anger though she never commanded him to protect her.  
"Milady, could this not persuade him to join us?" He tried to show her the brighter side of it.  
His stupidity never ceased to amaze her. Did he not see she was angry about Hunith's death? And why the hell did he speak of 'us'? She was the one in charge and apparently he did not realise that he was nothing but a pawn. As for the point he made, she doubted that it was that simple.

Rather than responding to his idiocy, she chose to ignore it and move on.  
"Next time Arthur travel passes through, inform me immediately."  
"Of course, milady, but I do not see why he would do so." Agravaine spoke his thoughts.  
"_Of course_, you don't." She mocked him, "That's why you're taking orders rather than giving them."  
She didn't see how much her bad behaviour affected him, mainly because she didn't care.  
"Yes, milady." He replied before turning around, his cloak waving behind him, and left.

On the Isle of the Blessed Merlin laid his mother on the altar where the veil had been torn. He was about to take a great risk for his mother's life and he wasn't even sure that what he had read was truth. The only reason that this _may_ be possible was thanks to the fact that the veil had been torn rather recently. These were the best circumstances possible. Merlin held his mother's hand and an eternity seemed to pass, minutes in which his mother lived, and then he heard a soft humming.

The warlock looked up and saw the Cailleach approach the altar rather casually. She was death itself but he never thought that she took pride in doing her duty. She laughed at how foolhardy people could be but in general, he more or less pitied her. Nonetheless, this was what he had hoped would happen. There where the veil was torn it remained thin for decades and those were the places where one could speak with death itself. This was the kind of knowledge which the druids feared.  
"Wait." Merlin addressed her.  
"There's a time for everyone, Emrys." She greeted him with a sad smile.  
The Cailleach was there when Morgana tore the veil and the course of destiny was altered. She knew what had become of the seer and the dragonlord and saddened with what they had become towards each other.  
"I know." Merlin admitted, "But bargains over life and death have been made before."  
She shook her head in disbelief at the sound of his stupidity. Meaningless words from a man who should be wiser.  
"It is not your time." She reminded him but that was not what he meant.  
"It shouldn't be hers either." The warlock spoke with conviction.  
Whether it was his fierceness or the opportunity to speak with the living did not matter. The Cailleach decided to keep talking with Emrys.  
"And why is that?"  
"Because it's wrong." Merlin spoke with great authority in his voice but it faltered as he went on, "I've spent years pursuing destiny, fixing the mistakes of others and making sacrifices. Those who knew about my destiny lied to me. Because of them I have made mistakes that will haunt me forever. How could I do what was right when the truth was withheld from me?"  
The Keeper of Souls knew that the warlock suffered but so many people did. She had seen it so very often and it was at its worst once the light faded from the eyes. Never did she believe that he would speak to her about the pain and sacrifice. Never did she think that she would actually care. Maybe she did because it was true. At times, destiny could be a fickle thing. Those closest to him would have been able to steer him and she was not surprised that the dragon had done so. She did not know Kilgharrah personally but a conclusion was easily drawn from the warlock's words.  
"I've guided Arthur as best I could but he's too much like his father. Morgana and others will not stop fighting him and one day they will cross the line and give cause to another purge. It is something neither of us wants to happen. If you save my mother's life then I will do everything in my power to bring back the Old Ways. Otherwise I will let the earth burn and not lift a finger to help it."  
The Cailleach had not anticipated that he would threaten the Old Religion in this way. It was true that he had a point but who was he to bring a battle of wills before death itself?  
"I hold power over life and death, why would I need you?" She asked surprisingly neutral.  
Merlin almost smirked. Her question proved that she had an interest. He knew exactly how far her powers reached in the living world. Those were the grounds upon which he was willing to make this gamble.  
"You are bound to uphold the balance over life and death. You can take the dead but you can't kill the living. That's what you need me for." He said.  
Life was a scale and people were the weights. Both sides were destinies and Emrys was a piece that could tip the balance. The change would wreak havoc on many destinies and many of them would go off the reservation but if the survival of the Old Religion depended on it, then it may be worth it.  
"Two people may share a destiny but all roles must be cast for the tale to unfold. Your destiny will be brought upon another." The Cailleach informed him.  
"He is not the greatest warlock ever to have lived." Merlin boasted.  
"But he will rise up to the challenge."  
"And my mother will live." He firmly believed that the good outweighed the bad.  
"Not without consequences." She replied.  
It took him by surprise. He didn't think there would be consequences in it for her. After all, it was him that was trying to strike a bargain.  
"Meaning?"  
The Cailleach sighed. She had power over life and death. There was a narrow path between the two that would allow Hunith to live but there were more laws to be upheld.  
"She will not remember you." She told him.  
He had been very determined and gotten very far but this hit him like a hammer. His own mother would no longer know or even recognize him. They wouldn't be able to share happy memories when this would all be over. What bothered him most was that he didn't see why this was necessary.  
"Do you believe she will approve of the destiny you wish to choose?" The Cailleach answered the question he was yet to ask.  
It was a fair point to make that fighting Arthur, possibly fighting in a war, would be against her wishes. She would do a lot to try and stop it from happening. The worst that could happen would be her death as it would void their bargain and forfeit her life.  
"She will be safe from Arthur, Morgana and everyone else"  
"Will she _ever_ remember?" Merlin desperately hoped.  
"She'll never fully remember."  
Selfish and selfless, he had to make a choice. It was selfish of him to want a new destiny and yet it was selfless to want his mother to live, even if she wouldn't remember him. The inner struggle was that he _would_ remember. Although she would live, he _would_ lose her still. Selfish and selfless, he made a choice.

**AN:**  
Originally, this chapter was a lot shorter and Hunith died in it. I got a lot of responses about the last chapter, both good and bad. They ranged from razing the castle to using the power over life and death to save Hunith. The latter was nearly impossible without the Cup of Life but then I realised that there might be another way: The Cailleach. Hunith lives, Merlin has a new goal in life, and it's time to wreak havoc.


	15. Issues

**AN: **Filler-ish

At Magpie09: Besides the cruelty of Arthur and destiny, something else is influencing him as well. It has been mentioned in one of the chapters but I _think_ no one has noticed it yet.

At Guest(Mark): I'm sorry if I upset you but I'm unsure about the kind of response you're looking. Also, I tried to merge your reviews and messed up. Only one of them is showing.

The balance over life and death works by _first_ giving someone water from the cup and _then_ making a sacrifice. Not the other way around. I also don't believe that the Cup of Life can be summoned. I reference Merlin wikia for this sort of thing and there's nothing there. Surely Morgana would sooner use the cup rather than killing Morgause. The owner(s) also changed a bit randomly from Nimueh to the druids. I'd say it's got a mind of its own appearing when and where it wants to.

Secondly, Gwen isn't the type to drop friends in a heartbeat. She'll stand up for what she believes in, yes, but she won't condemn and abandon him when it would achieve nothing but pain.

Look back at the episode _To Kill The King _(S1). Uther had Tom executed but when Merlin asked if she wanted him dead, she said "What would that solve? ... That would make me as bad as him."  
Fast forward to _The Darkest Hour _(S4) and she's taking care of him (though she does say she's doing it for Arthur).

That's why Gwen is sort of in character but I must admit that Arthur doesn't deserve her kindness.

**Issues**

_Selfish and selfless, he made a choice._

A few days had passed since Merlin's second escape from Camelot and life went on though everyone coped differently. Most remarkable were Gwen and Gwaine who developed something of a new habit. He would visit her after his final round in the lower town and usually arrived right after she put the kettle on. They talked about petty things such as how the other's day was, the local gossip and of course moaning about the weather. On some evenings they would talk about more serious things such as Merlin and Arthur. Both of them needed to talk to _someone_ and, oddly enough, for both of them Merlin was that person. Of course Gwen had confided in Arthur as well before everything went to hell but he wasn't much of an option anymore.

Gwaine no longer voiced his mind when the king was near as he found himself opposing his ideas. At least he could be himself around Gwen and confide in her. He also confided in one other person which was Percival. He didn't say much but every once in a while had some very good advice. Gwen was more talkative than the friendly giant and Gwaine was thankful for it. His talks with the maidservant replaced part of the time he usually spent at the tavern and when he left her home he usually didn't feel like drinking all that much.

Gwen began confiding in Gwaine when Merlin was in prisons and awaited his execution. She visited Arthur on a daily basis. Usually he talked and she listened. He was reasonable and spoke a lot of his decisions as a King but that's not what she wanted to hear. She _wasn't_ his advisor and wished he would open up more about Merlin. The first time, the day he nearly broke down, was also the only time they actually had a deep conversation about Merlin. She had made attempted to breach the topic once and he lashed out at her with _"The world doesn't revolve around him"_ and left. The only thing he had let on was that he valued Agravaine above all others and that was probably what annoyed her most. The biggest shock came when he kissed her in the middle of a sentence. He had mistaken her kindness for infatuation and she had to explain to him that things weren't the way they used to be. Explaining a breakup with someone who wasn't emotionally stable wasn't easy. She had tried to do it very carefully but it seemed not everything had come across.

There had been sightings of Merlin since the day of his escape. Most of them came from places west of the Valley of the Fallen Kings. The sorcerer's allegiance was never spoken of but Arthur had drawn his own conclusions. All the King saw were his own fears as these were the ones Merlin promised to bring into the world. One such fear would be an alliance between Morgana and the former manservant. Arthur didn't know that those sightings were lies spread by the witch. She wanted to lure Arthur out of Camelot but stuck with mere sightings rather than cruel tales as she didn't want to anger the sorcerer. Ruining Merlin's reputation would have brought more risk than reward as it might have made an enemy out of him rather than a possible ally. She didn't see Arthur as a target anymore but as means to an end. His head would be Merlin's and only then, when his vengeance was sated, would she ask him for aid against her nemesis; Emrys. At the moment he was consumed by anger and she wondered if he would return to normal once that anger was gone. She would be queen and he would be... Undecided. His fate or role in whatever future there would be was dependant on his personality.

The troubling thoughts about his altered personality had persisted but something else was troubling her more; her dreams, or rather the lack thereof. She hadn't been wearing the bracelet because she deemed her visions to be too important to be ignored. Merlin was dangerous and so was Arthur. She needed an edge to them. Unfortunately the visions stayed away ever since the dark day at Camelot.

She feared her visions but she feared their absence more. What horrid things could scare a nightmare?

Morgana met with Agravaine at the edge of the Valley of the Fallen Kings. Her spy had informed her of the King's increasingly nervous behaviour. With every sighting he became tenser and now he had decided to act as she had expected him to. He would seek the truth behind these many rumours with the Knights and his 'trustworthy' advisor.  
"And you're sure he'll pass through the valley?" Morgana refused anything to be left to chance.  
She needed the King as leverage but if he knew that it was her that spread the rumours then he might become too cautious of him. Like his father before him, that caution would become well-disguised fear and he would no longer leave the comfort of his throne. It would make him a difficult target, even for Agravaine, but if her plan was to fail and she was incredibly lucky then his youth prevent that from happening.  
"He's expressed his concern but I convinced him that the alternative would let him escape." Agravaine said proudly.  
"Good." She said, "I'll judge the men on their way there and ambush them on their way back."  
"Milady, might I inquire why you've decided to capture Arthur rather than kill him?"  
"Emrys is still out there somewhere. I'm not his equal yet but Merlin _is_. I'll bring Arthur to him on a silver platter. Emrys might try to save him but he can't fight both me and Merlin."  
Agravaine was thinking about her plan. She had already shared the thought of Merlin being Emrys' apprentice and her spy momentarily considered other possibilities.  
"Merlin is Emrys' apprentice but why would Emrys choose him?"  
"What does it matter?" Scoffed Morgana, "With his help Emrys will no longer be my doom."  
"Milady, have you ever considered the possibility that they might be related?"  
It chilled her blood. Merlin didn't know his father but he had never said anything about a grandfather. If Merlin and Emrys were related then that would make this difficult. Thankfully difficult wasn't impossible. Both she and Arthur had tried to kill Uther. Risk and reward were in balance. She was not going to abandon her plan now that it was already in motion.  
"You just make sure he passes through the valley, milord." She refused to show him any emotion.  
"Yes, milady."

* * *

There were many tools at the warlock's disposal. Ancient curses of ill fortune could bring the city to its knees and grand magics could force them to surrender but Merlin had far more sinister ambitions and chose for deception. The plot that had formed in his mind was simple and far from the hell he had promised Arthur but he couldn't care less. He would taunt him before he killed him and would do so with great symbolism. The symbolism would lay in his means of deception. He would use a Blood Crystal. He was wearing it already.

Getting the blood for the crystal had been child play, literally. There were many villages between the Isle and the city of Camelot. Folk at one of the taverns played a game called 'bloody knuckles'. The game had at least two players. The first player would spin the coin and then, starting with the first player, players would take turns to flick the coin to keep it spinning. The one that failed to flick it or caused it to fall would put his knuckles on the table and the previous player would use his thumb to shoot it at the knuckles.

Merlin played the game with a few men of his age and was smart enough to use a copper of his own. After a few rounds he 'chickened out' with his copper and was lucky enough that the blood was still fresh enough to rub off on the crystal. Of course there were faster, more violent ways of obtaining the blood but these people didn't oppose him in any way and violence might draw unwanted attention.

Wearing the crystal proved slightly difficult as the person he would impersonate was a bit larger than him. He spent whatever coppers he still had on clothes before leaving the village. The boots he now filled were those of an average man with black hair and a short beard. He wore brown trousers and worn black boots. The jacket he wore wasn't of the greatest quality either but it would have to do. In any case he didn't look like Merlin anymore. Arthur would pay dearly for what he had done to him and so would anyone that would get into his way. The road to Camelot wasn't safe as it passed through the Valley of the Fallen Kings but neither was it perilous. Bandits were a hazard but he knew that Morgana didn't usually bother mere travellers. If their paths did cross, however, she would be the one paying the price.

* * *

Morgana watched the road from a distance. Arthur and his petty knights would pass by and she would know their numbers. A trap would be set with the aid of the local bandits - whom she would make clear had no choice in the matter. With Arthur as her captive Merlin would surely come looking for her and she would gladly hand him over along with her most sincere apologies. He would see that she was right all along and the throne would be hers. If Emrys were to show up as well, all the better, they would dispose of him on the spot. She would need a backup plan in case things went wrong but right now that didn't matter. Although no one was there to see it, she smirked.

The witch was too preoccupied with her own plans to notice the rustling of leaves behind her. She only had eyes for the road ahead which would bring the next part of her plan and not for the danger behind her. She felt a shocking pain in her back and looked behind her to see who it was. It was _someone_ but her vision was blurred and she could only make out his posture and black hair before passing out.

**AN:**

I hate this chapter. I know it shows emotion but there is no freaking progress.  
As for 'bloody knuckles', it's a school thing.  
Spoiler at the bottom.

*Spoiler*

***SPOILER***

Next chapter is filled with Merlin and Morgana and we'll see the darkness that has infected the warlock.


	16. We've Been Here Before

**AN:**  
At Guest: She's delusional but that's about to end.

**We've been here before**

Morgana woke up with a pain in her back. Opening her eyes explained why. She was in her hovel but she hadn't been sleeping in bed or even lying down. She was hanging by the manacles hanging from the ceiling.  
"Quite a turn of events this is." Someone, male judging by his voice, mocked her.  
Her vision was still blurred but after blinking a couple of times she saw that it was Merlin who kept her captive. The sorcerer had hidden his disguise as this was too personal to do in the skin of someone else.  
"Cute." She glared at him.  
"Likewise." He quipped though it made no sense to her.  
"So how does it feel to be helpless?" Asked Merlin.  
The young warlock remembered his time as her captive and wondered if she felt the same. The witch smirked and chuckled.  
"Chains don't make me helpless. _Hleap on baec!_" But nothing happened.  
Much to her annoyance Merlin raised a cocky eyebrow.  
"_Hleap on baec!_" She tried once more but it remained an attempt.  
Merlin kneeled down at her bed and grabbed something that hung beneath it. Morgana couldn't quite see what it was but it was definitely made of straw. The sorcerer showed it to her with a self-satisfied smile.  
"This is what made you helpless." He said as he wiggled the puppet right in front of her like it were a girl's doll.  
When he had taken her to her hovel he first let her rest on the bed. It gave him time to make the puppet that would disarm her and, after ensuring she would not wake, he made preparations for the rest of his plan. Morgana didn't know she had been asleep for longer than a day and Arthur and Agravaine had returned to Camelot already. If she hadn't been hanging from the ceiling then she might have felt well-rested.  
"Truth be told, I didn't plan this. I spotted you while you were waiting for Arthur. It was an opportunity I just couldn't pass up." He explained with a smug grin that didn't suit him.  
"I warned you and this is how you repay me?" She thought it her turn to be angry but he disagreed.  
"What does a warning mean when you could have stopped it before it had even begun?" His eyes were shooting daggers at her.  
Nothing she would say would please him. The words would only give him reason to shout at her. Part of it was truth. She could have protected Hunith rather than let her be captured for the sake of an alliance.

Merlin began to circle her like a vulture and she hoped he wasn't still waiting for an answer to lash out at.  
"I'm going to make this very easy for you." He said with an odd smile.  
Morgana cocked her head. Whatever was going on in that head of his, she didn't like it. When she tortured him, she said she _wasn't_ going to make it easy. This moment, his words, they were starting to frighten her.  
His face came eerily close to hers. "All you have to do is _bleed_."  
The way he dragged out the 'e' chilled her to the bone.  
"W-What?" She stuttered.  
"Bleed." He repeated, "I have no need of an elaborate plot involving you but neither am I willing to give you a swift death."  
Merlin took the jewelled dagger Arthur had given her for her birthday from the table and let the cold metal touch the skin of her face. He pushed aside part of her dress to expose her midriff and let the tip of the dagger move across it slowly. Morgana was holding her breath and Merlin revelled at the sight of her fear. He knew she was vain and this was just one of several weaknesses he knew of.  
"We can kill Arthur together." She desperately tried to bargain with him.  
"You betrayed me." He replied.  
"WHAT?!" Morgana shouted incredulously but flinched because her outburst made the dagger draw blood.  
"I thought you trusted me but apparently you trusted Morgause more."  
There was pain in his eyes. Unresolved issues were coming to the surface. He could have confronted her about it ages ago but he never did. The dark persona before her was everything he had always kept in the darkest corner of his mind.  
"She was my sister." Morgana defended herself but, as before, it was an answer he wanted to hear.  
"SHE CURSED YOU!" Merlin shouted as he pressed the dagger closer against her skin but didn't add another cut. "She risked your life for the sake of killing Uther. I tried so hard to see the good in you even after you resurrected the dead but I knew I had lost when you willingly betrayed Gwen. SHE TRUSTED YOU! You've known her since childhood and you betrayed her!" His eyes had started glowing halfway through and the vials on the shelves were shaking.  
By the end of it tears ran down his cheeks and lightly reflected the gold of his eyes. Merlin quickly realised that his emotions were getting the best of him and stepped back for a moment. He put his back against one of the shelves in an attempt to calm down as his hands shook violently with the anger still inside.

Morgana finally saw what was wrong with him. He was broken. They had pushed him over the edge. He made regrettable choices which now haunted him. Some of his friends had died and others had become the enemy. In the end he was betrayed by the ones he protected and losing everything he held dear. It was saddening to see him like this. Arthur, Uther, Gwen, Gaius and she had turned him into this bitter shadow of the man he once was.  
"It's disgusting to think I once longed for you." Merlin continued, "But the Lady I loved is gone and all I see is a woman whose hands are stained by the blood of the innocent."  
That nearly broke her. He _had_ loved her. It _was_ mutual. She could have loved him and he would have loved her back. Her feelings towards him had seemed so silly at first. He wasn't the kind of man usually described as attractive. Women were supposed to fall in love with a burly Knight with epic tales and a confidence that the world was theirs. She didn't agree, never did. Replacing the word 'Knight' with 'man' made it seem like the description of a drunkard. Merlin was soft compared to them but that's what made him so more real. There was no pretending when they were together. He was kind, honest and brimming with hope. Those cheekbones of his made him quite handsome though nobody else seemed to notice. His unforgettable ears brought out his adorable, heart-warming smiles. He was so bashful and yet had epic tales but he never told them or boasted about anything else. There was something that needed to be said, to be shared, but he spoke before she could.  
"Once I'm done with you, you'll be as ugly on the outside as you are on the inside."  
He wanted to torture her without end.  
"Please." She breathed huskily.  
Merlin chuckled darkly and turned his back towards her. She could hear him clean his tools in the bowl of water.  
"Save your breath. You'll need it when I sell you to Queen Annis."  
Morgana saw something move outside and her eyes fell upon a shadowy shape, a person. She looked at Merlin who still had his back towards her before turning back to the shadowy shape, hopefully Agravaine, and silently moved her lips as if saying 'Arthur'.

She hated to admit it but right now he was the only person that might be able to save her.

But would he arrive in time?

**AN:  
**I know Merlin is OOC but there's a reason for it!  
In any case, this is Evil!Merlin though not how you'd expect it. So, do you trust me?


	17. A Real Nightmare

**A Real Nightmare**

_But would he arrive in time?_

Merlin turned away from his tools and crossed his arms with a smile.  
"What did you tell him?" Asked the warlock.  
"Tell who?" She played the fool but he knew better.  
"Agravaine."  
She blinked. How did he know? She had kept his eyes on him and all he had been doing was preparing the torture tools. Little did she know that he didn't even have such tools. The water in the bowl wasn't even for cleaning anything but for practicing the ancient art of scrying. Morgana's hovel had been shielded from such magic but only for the outside. He had been waiting for Agravaine to come but, despite it being setup, he hadn't intended it to become so emotional.  
"Will he tell Arthur where we are? I hope he does because that's what I'm counting on." Merlin informed her.  
"Why? What do you want with me?"  
"When they get here, I won't be around. They'll find you sleeping, unharmed, and someone else in those chains. Which reminds me…"  
He approached her empty handed and carefully, almost hesitantly, placed a warm hand on the small, shallow cut. She could see that he was averting his eyes and she almost smirked. This powerful sorcerer was still part manservant.  
"_Purhhaele dolgbenn._" The skin sew itself back together.  
Merlin left the hovel and allowed her to think for a moment. Nothing was making sense. One moment he was angry and vengeful and the other he was cunning and healing her wound. If the reality wasn't so severe then she may have deluded herself into thinking that he still cared about her. Maybe it was the same courtesy she had shown him when he was her prisoner. It all boiled down to a powerplay of sort. He wanted her to die at Arthur's hand and the prat would probably do exactly that. Merlin was pulling the strings and the puppets would dance. However annoying, she had always admired him as a worthy opponent of her game but now she was losing.  
The door opened again and Merlin was dragging a body inside. The face was familiar but the name didn't come to mind.  
"You remember Morris, don't you? He was Arthur's manservant before I took his place. What would Arthur make of it?"  
Arthur would find them. She would be sleeping and Morris would be hanging from the ceiling.  
"You'll be put in the dungeon and, without your magic, who knows what will happen?" Merlin took a lot of pride in his plan and eagerly continued, "Well, that's not entirely true. I've seen how Agravaine looks at you. What do you think he'll do once he realises you're powerless?"  
Nothing scared her more than the idea of being in the presence of Agravaine without her powers. She was well aware of the man's infatuations and thought she had made it clear that it wouldn't happen. Without her magic she was just a woman and he might attempt to force himself upon her.  
"Merlin, please. I beg of you, please don't do this." Her pleading wiped the smile right off his face.  
He knew she was guilty of crimes worthy of death but he could still recognize genuine despair when he saw it. This wasn't something to be proud of anymore. She was supposed to fight him to the very end and allow him to savour sweet victory. Instead she was begging for him to spare her life and not only did it take all the fun out of it, it also destroyed all the pride he took in it. He felt something else instead.  
"_Swefe nu_."  
Her body went limp and it was safe to assume that she had gone into a deep sleep like before. He couldn't deal with an emotional Morgana. It made his heart have second thoughts. As much as he wanted to destroy her, as much did he want to keep her safe. He thought the latter to be foolishness as she would undoubtedly kill him the first chance she got. Merlin convinced himself that the pain he felt was a weakness that needed to be disposed of. This might hurt him but it was necessary and things would get better afterwards.

Although he hated hunting, Merlin had no trouble hearing Arthur and his Knights approach. It was tempting to strike the King of Camelot down but Merlin hadn't the heart to kill Morgana and Arthur did. It still didn't feel completely right. In the past he couldn't let her die and even now his feelings were rebelling against him. One strong thought kept him from interfering. If she didn't die then she would kill him. Arthur, Agravaine and twelve Knights slowly moved towards Morgana's little hovel. The King peered through the window and didn't like what he saw. Morris was hanging from the ceiling, dead, whilst Morgana slept in her bed.  
"Merlin's not there." The King informed his advisor and informant.  
"Then he must be close." Replied Agravaine.  
The Knights spread out and moved further into the forest like Merlin thought they would. Merlin had found a place to hide in one of the places where no one ever looked. Up in the trees. When the knights were spread thin Merlin saw opportunity to strike. He got down from the tree and silently moved towards one of the knights.  
"_Swefe nu_."  
The Knight fell into a deep sleep and Merlin pulled him to the other side of a small cliff. He took the unfamiliar Knight's armour and, by use of the Blood Crystal, took his likeness which helped with wearing the armour. Merlin then proceeded with killing the stripped knight and hid him in a ditch. The warlock went back to Arthur who had remained at Morgana's hovel and soon the others returned as well.  
"He's not here." Sir Leon concluded.  
"Time to wake the demon." Arthur sighed with a wry smile.  
"Would it not be better to kill her?" Asked Sir Leon.  
Merlin noticed Agravaine flinch and step in like he thought he would.  
"To find Merlin it may be best to bring her to Camelot and face public execution. That way we decide where to fight and prepare appropriately." Said the slithery bastard.  
Arthur agreed with his uncle and went inside with several knights, leaving Merlin outside. He could hear the ruckus inside and when the door next opened Morgana was being dragged along by her hair.  
"I'm going to kill you!" She threatened them but, stripped of her magic, it lost its edge.  
"Torturing Morris apparently drained her of her magic." Arthur stated as he pushed her into Percival's arms who then restrained her.  
It took Merlin great effort to do... nothing. He had seen Arthur be more kind to the people he bully than how he just treated Morgana. Arthur at least decided to bring Morris back to Camelot so that he may be buried properly.

As they travelled towards Camelot the Knights took turns to guard Morgana. Merlin initially saw a lot of anger in her but it had changed an hour later. It was his turn to guard her and he could tell that her mind was elsewhere.

Morgana didn't care who guarded her. Sir Leon, whom she had known the longest with the exception of Arthur, wasn't kinder than others. If anything he was the least kind. She was their prisoner but refused to show fear and choose to glare at her captors instead. It was a tactic that worked for a while but other thoughts soon claimed her mind. Merlin had done this horrible thing to her and she wondered why or rather why _this_? It seemed that no matter which way she turned, every step was a step away from him. He hated her more than ever before and it hurt. He had trapped her so that Arthur would kill her. Flames would burn her, smoke would smother her and in a distant corner of her mind there was fear. Having seen so many sorcerers burn and having heard their screams made her shudder. Before the darkness something else might happen. If Agravaine realised how weak she was then he might try and have his way with her. She'd rather die than be defiled by that slippery eel. Seeing Agravaine as an enemy left her all alone. Although everyone saw her as the enemy, Merlin was the one with a dark mind. Her goal was clear as day but what he hoped to achieve with this she did not know. If her execution was his way of torturing her mentally, then he did not know how much it hurt her that he was the one that did it. She wondered if he would ever mourn her loss. Sadly enough, she didn't think that he would.

In Camelot, Arthur taunted her by bringing her to the throne room before anything else  
"Anything you want to say before you're put in the dungeon?" He asked with an air of superiority.  
"He's not in league with me. He enchanted me. I didn't wake until you grabbed me." She explained.  
Merlin wasn't a potential ally anymore but if she managed to gain Arthur's trust, she could retake the throne and protect herself from the vengeful warlock.  
"Sorceress, nightmares, I don't know what goes on in that head of yours once you close your eyes." Said Arthur, "Nor do I think I want to."  
Morgana glared at him as she was taken to the dungeon. All she could hope for was that her magic would return before her execution.


	18. Think About It

**AN:**

It's getting a bit difficult to find the time to write but here's the next chapter.

**Think About It**

The prison cell was cold. Prison bars separated her from the world but it was the absence of magic that kept her inside. The bed, a pathetic stack of hay, would not be enough for her to get to sleep at all. Regardless, sleeping would be the very last thing she would do. No matter how hopeless the situation, Morgana refused to give up. It would only be a matter of time before Agravaine arrived and he might have a plan to get her out. If he could stall the execution then that might be enough time for her to regain her strength, her magic. Her first priority was escape but they did bring her into the very heart of Camelot. Could she bring destruction to them from the inside out?

Her musings were interrupted by the door leading to the dungeon slamming shut. Morgana smirked at the sound of just one pair of footsteps. Agravaine would fret with _milady_ and _sorry_ and she would tell him to stall the execution. Then the man came into view and it wasn't him, it was Merlin.

"Expecting someone else?" He picked up on her surprise.  
"One scream and the guards will come." Morgana bluffed.  
"I don't think they care about what happens to you."  
She swallowed nervously. He wasn't going to hurt her, was he?  
"When you see Arthur, tell him to check his right pocket." He said as he turned around to leave.  
"Merlin?" Her words caused him to stop walking but he didn't turn around.  
Morgana figured that this might well be the last time they talked. She could say one last thing to him. There was a lot of history between them, so many moments that could have changed the world. She could insult him or taunt him one last time but she didn't. What would be the point of it? The sorceress chose put her pride aside and take responsibility for what she had done.  
"I'm sorry for letting you down."  
She couldn't see that one of his hands was shaking. He was on the verge of changing his mind. He had been holding onto his anger to keep emotions at bay and it had worked so well until now. Morgana was the first person to say she was sorry but it wasn't an apology in general. She was apologizing to _him_. She seemed to be the only one with a heart. She spoke as if she owed him something. The darkness inside him said that she did but the other side of him, that joyous boy with the heart-warming smile, said that she had been punished enough.

A mere moment had passed in the waking world and Merlin resumed walking away from her. As he was about to walk up the flight of stairs, the door opened to reveal Agravaine.  
"Merlin." He nearly gasped but the boy managed to hide his surprise.  
"Serve Morgana if you want to see him dead. Serve me if you want to see him suffer." The warlock stated as he moved past Arthur's uncle.

Morgana had heard the few words they had spoken. He hadn't accepted the offer but neither had he refused it. The witch could hear him come closer and pretend to be sleeping in the hay. It wasn't a believable act on its own but Merlin had enchanted her with a sleeping spell before. The sharp sound of a ring meeting metal pulled her out of her 'sleep'.  
"Milady." Agravaine greeted a startled Morgana.  
"Merlin was here." She stated and noticed that he feigned surprise. Either he was considering his offer or he had already decided to take it.  
"When?" He asked and his fakes surprise stung her.  
Apparently Agravaine's loyalty didn't reach as far as she thought it did.  
"I... He cast a sleeping spell on me." The hesitation was part of her act. She had to keep everything secret from him from this point onwards but she did hope he was willing to share. "Do you have a plan, milord?"  
"Unfortunately not." He replied and Morgana believed to have seen an odd glint in his eye.  
Morgana reasoned that Merlin's offer had caused Agravaine to play a game of his own and it was a game she could not afford to lose.  
"Then tell my dear brother I _request_ an audience with him."

It didn't take long for Arthur to have Morgana dragged to the throne room despite it being the middle of the night. Perhaps his conscience plagued him more than he dare admit.  
"You asked for an audience?" Arthur pretended to be gracious as means of taunting her.  
"Merlin is here." She told him.  
Arthur shook his head with a smile. He believed she was trying taking him for a fool.  
"Let me guess, this is the part where you tell me that only you can stop him."  
"He told me to send you a message." She remained serious though the King seemed rather amused.  
"And what would that be?"  
"To look in your right pocket."  
Arthur frowned and reached into his pocket. It was small but he could feel that it had many surfaces. Pulling it out for his eyes to see, his breath faltered. It was a Blood Crystal. The King's face turned to one of terror. Merlin had put this in his pocket. He was in Camelot and the sorcerer even had access to his clothing!  
Morgana smirked at Arthur's dismay and couldn't help but admire Merlin's intrepid deed.  
"I can't defeat him but I _can_ protect you from him." She lied.  
She had no intention of keeping him safe whatsoever. Morgana planned to kill him and use her power and influence as Queen to keep herself safe from the sorcerer.  
"You'll betray me." He refused to believe her.  
"Very well. I'll tell you who my spy is." In the corner of her eye she could already see Agravaine's hand grip his sword.  
"But you will never take my word for it." She added.  
"You're not making a very strong argument."  
"Could Sir Gwaine convince you otherwise?" Asked Morgana and, at the sight of Arthur's pensive look, Agravaine interrupted them.  
"I'll go and get him for you, Sire." Said the traitor who chose to act rather than wait for the King to accept his offer.  
Once the door shut behind him, Morgana turned her gaze towards Arthur once more.  
"Agravaine is my spy. Send someone after him or Gwaine may die." The face she wore was tense, mainly because she couldn't control the situation very well.  
"What is this ridiculous-" Arthur began but she interrupted him.  
"Listen to the voice of reason. Whether I'm right or wrong, sending another man won't hurt anyone."  
When reason was so simple it took Arthur but a moment to send another man after him.  
"Leon." The Knight nodded and Arthur continued. "If it's true, how did you get to him?"  
Morgana smirked at his assumption that she turned him against him.  
"He blames you and your father for the death of his sister and his brother." She explained.  
Arthur was silent for a moment. "I genuinely fail to see how blame befalls me."  
"If you hadn't been born..." Morgana stated with an annoyance indicating she didn't really agree with it either.  
"And Gwaine?"  
"Gwaine interrupted his attempt to kill Gaius but passed it off as checking whether he was alive." Explained Morgana.  
"And this is how you reward loyalty." Arthur mocked her as he did not believe her.  
"He struck a deal with Merlin. Apparently he thinks me deaf."  
There was a noise outside and Morgana thought it safe to assume that Agravaine would soon return as being a prisoner.  
"Here they come. Listen closely. You'll notice he calls me '_milady_'." She spat with disgust.  
The whole milady thing lost its charm even before he bargained with Merlin.  
One of the guards took the liberty of opening the door prematurely and Agravaine was almost thrown inside by a seriously angry Leon and Gwaine. The traitor tried to stand up but Leon brought a hand to his shoulder to keep him on his knees.  
"He tried to kill Gwaine." Sir Leon confirmed Morgana's accusation.  
"She has enchanted me! Arthur, you have to believe me!"  
Already his uncle's words did not make sense. Morgana didn't have magic at her disposal and when would she have enchanted him?  
"How did you know Gaius was in the iron mine?" Asked Arthur.  
He remained silent as an excuse did not immediately come to mind.  
"Uncle-" Arthur started to seriously doubt him but Agravaine interjected.  
"Smugglers occasionally use it." He said.  
Gwaine shook his head and asked a question of his own.  
"So when Gaius goes missing you go to a smuggler's hideout?"  
Morgana saw Agravaine having difficulty answering and she decided to take it up a notch.  
"Did I mention he's in league with Merlin?"  
Agravaine looked as if he had just been stabbed. He knew that he had failed her but he didn't understand why she was doing this. Surely she didn't believe that this would mend her relationship with Arthur? The King, in turn, noticed how upset his uncle was.  
"Why would you say such a thing? What have I ever done to you, milady?"  
Arthur's eyes widened as not only did Agravaine just call her exactly what she said he would, but he also didn't refute the allegation. It wasn't common courtesy for him to call a woman _milady_ and neither was it because of habit. As far as Arthur knew, the two had never met. How did Morgana know what he'd call her? Treachery came to mind.  
"Take him to the dungeon." Arthur regrettably decided to have him imprisoned.  
The traitor did not speak a word as he got carried off to his cell but Arthur saw the hatred in his eyes. Even if he wasn't Morgana's spy, there was something vile beneath the surface.

"Have we a deal?" Asked Morgana once the door had close.  
"No, you're still going to be executed tomorrow."  
"I told you who my spy was!" She said in outrage.  
"And I never agreed to anything. I blame you for Merlin."  
Morgana's anger surged even stronger than before because _he_ was the one that betrayed Merlin, not her.  
"You can blame yourself! You're the one that sentenced him to death, not I!"  
"When Morgause took you, he was grief-stricken. Then you came back and betrayed us."  
Arthur accused her of destroying Merlin's hopes. She knew that she had but Arthur didn't know what the boy had done to her even before that happened, what he had done for him. This was why she hated him so much. He believed himself to be so knowledgeable but in reality he knew nothing. He didn't know what had happened between Merlin and her and yet he accused her of being the devil as if his intended execution had nothing to do with it. He had NO RIGHT to speak of matters he didn't understand.  
"Before Morgause took me, he had to choose between you and me. He chose you while I was in love with him!"  
Arthur was dumbstruck by this. He knew Merlin had feelings for her but not that she had them for him as well and neither did he know that he had picked him over her somewhere along the way.  
"You always do this. Whenever something good happens, you destroy it." She kept moping as tears made their way across her cheeks. "Just _once_ I'm better at sword fighting and you deny it ever happened. I had a maid that I thought I could trust and she's more loyal to you than me. Finally I find a man to whom I'd give my heart. He shared my views on magic, he cared about my nightmares while you ignore them and he listened to what I had to say rather than make witty remarks. He made the worst days bearable and you took him away from me."  
She was a sobbing wreck by the end of it but she had one last thing to say.  
"Then you tried to execute him. Physically, he escaped but part of him died that day. The part of him that I loved died. I blame you for being your father."  
"Take her away." Arthur didn't want to hear any more of it.

Merlin rested his back against the wall in one of the alcoves. He felt the armour tightly hug the body that wasn't his and it was suffocating. He could hear his heart pound against the metal but he was the only one that could. His mind was rebelling against the plot that had formed in his mind earlier, the plot that was currently in motion. He was there when Morgana gave the heartfelt confession that she had been in love with him... and he poisoned her. She was crying her eyes out in front of everyone and she didn't care that people were looking. She wanted to make a point. It could all have been an act but it was too real. There was a moment in her hovel right after he said he had been in love with her. In that moment she was silent. She didn't attempt to persuade him on those feelings but she did have a worried or pained look on her face.

Although her love might have been lost over time, her tears proved to him that it still bothered her. The fact that she still cared changed things. Past events that didn't make sense changed. The Fomorroh had been elaborate and now he knew why she'd done it. It meant that he could live. If he had killed Arthur then the people may well have followed her and perhaps he would have come to his senses. His stomach twisted and turned as it reminded him of something else. When she woke the dead she had been reluctant to fight him despite the fact that he was the enemy. Morgause had trained her and planted dark thoughts in her mind but why did she hesitate to fight the man that poisoned her?

That's when the tears began to fall. She had targeted Arthur, Gwen and even Gaius but never him. He thwarted her plans time and again but never did she try to harm him. She still cherished some sort of love for him but it went even deeper than he suspected. _Think about it._ After all the darkness and the pain he had brought her she still cared. She only ever fought him when he confronted her and all other times weren't about hurting him. She had healed him once and other times she asked him to join her. Goddess, how could he have been so blind? Triple Goddess, what was he doing?


	19. From The Darkness

**AN: **It's been while. I've been procrastinating.

**From the Darkness**

Morgana felt numb on the day of her execution, partially because her stomach had expelled everything inside. There was no escaping death. Agravaine was to be hanged before her and he had been her only way out. From her cell she could hear the crowd outside. The death of the traitor only increased their excitement for the main event. Morgana didn't know whether she should hold her head high and glare or show remorse in what would be her final hour. She couldn't believe that everything would soon be over and everything she had fought for would turn to dust.  
"It's time." Said the guard that stood before her cell.  
He had black, curly hair and slight stubble. He had broad shoulders like most guards did and probably equally annoying.  
She sighed. The fear inside her made her legs weak but she willed them to move.  
"You've made peace with the Goddess?" He asked.  
"Yes."  
"So you admit you were wrong?"  
It annoyed her to constantly be reminded how the Old Religion had been banned.  
"I should've gone about it another way." There was a hint of anger in her voice since she did not believe the Old Religion was wrong.  
Morgana looked at her feet as the guard escorted her. Her mind was too preoccupied to pay attention to the direction going. It was only when a door opened that she looked up. It shocked her to see that the man coming from the other room was the same as the guard escorting her.  
"_Hleap on bæc!_" Shouted her escort to the equally shocked doppelganger who flew back through the door he came from.  
Morgana wanted to back away but he grabbed the chain between her arms. Their eyes met for a moment and this pause seemed to calm her down. His eyes went to the chains he held.  
"_Irenfaestnunga onlucap híe._"  
The restraints let go of her wrists and she rubbed them in an attempt to shake off the feeling of being a prisoner.  
"Come on, we haven't much time." He said as he went through a different door.  
Morgana didn't hesitate and followed him through the doors and up the stairs. This man offered escape and she was going to take it with both hands. As they moved through the corridors of the castle, the witch heard people approach from the other end. Without a second thought she pulled the sorcerer into an alcove and they waited for them to pass by. Once their voices faded away Morgana took the lead and pulled him along. She managed to get them out of the citadel by using a side exit but it left them at the edge of the garden which didn't provide any shelter at all.  
"One second, I need a breather." He said.  
Morgana frowned at him, annoyed, as they had been lucky that no one had uncovered the empty cell or made sense of the unconscious guard.  
"Who-" Her jaw dropped along with the question she was about to ask.  
Clinging to the edge of his shirt was a tiny, almost diamond shaped gem. Arthur had held a similar stone the day before and knew it as a Blood Crystal. Without thinking Morgana grabbed the thing and pulled it off the chain. His black curls seemed to fall out of shape, stubbles withdrew, shoulders narrowed and skin paled.  
"You!" She scowled and Merlin grabbed her arm.  
"Get me out of this bloody armour." The warlock no longer had the body to wear the metal suit.  
"Is this another plan to torture me?" She asked ignoring his rude request to lend him a hand.  
"Right now, the plan is to get out of Camelot." He explained as he finally managed to pull the chainmail over his head.  
"And then?" Morgana demanded to know but their conversation was interrupted by the warning bells.  
The Knights would be looking for them and so might an angry mob. Morgana led Merlin to the outer wall but the secret passage she had used so often in the past had been sealed off. Arthur's men had been thorough in their efforts to close them off. In the distance they could see half a dozen guards approach already. They had been spotted when crossing the garden which hadn't any great trees to hide behind. Morgana felt a sudden chill and turned to Merlin who looked at her with golden eyes. It was strange that she could feel his magic when her own was inaccessible. Merlin opened his arms for her and began casting the spell.  
"_Bedyrene us..."_ He said and, recognizing the spell, Morgana grabbed him to hang on._"Astyre us thanonweard._"

They reappeared at the edge of the Valley of the Fallen Kings. The two immediately broke away from each other not out of disgust but nausea. Although having done the disappearing act before, his anger wasn't fueling his magic and this increased difficulty led to a musch stronger urge to vomit than before. This time he couldn't help but give in to it against the nearest tree.

Merlin, with an empty stomach, saw Morgana keeping herself on her feet by leaning against a tree. She shook like vomiting but nothing came out. The nerves for her execution had emptied her already. Morgana stretched her neck and turned to him with her head held high in defiance.  
"Why condemn me one moment and save me the next?"  
"I changed my mind. I was wrong."  
"About?" She asked.  
"Everything!" He shouted in despair. "Arthur is a tyrant like his father, all he brings is death."  
Though Merlin was in pain, Morgana saw something unfold. The man wasn't the angry sorcerer she had seen before but neither was he the happy one of old. He was somewhere in between. He had saved her from death which meant that he cared to some degree and at the moment there was conflict in his heart. She could agree with what he just said and condemn Arthur. United in their anger they would triumph but what would happen after? After Arthur's death he would either find something new to hate or break down as a human being. Whichever it was, it would make her unable to mend his heart to what it used to be. In that perspective Arthur's death was a short-term goal. So what did she want for the long run? She still wanted his love but only if he would become the young man he once was. Enough pain had been brought upon him. He had lost his life in Camelot and then Arthur took his mother from him. Part of that was her fault.  
"I'm sorry about Hunith. You were right, I should have done more to save her." The witch admitted guilt.  
His face contorted with pain from his heart and he ran a hand through his hair. Morgana hadn't realised how present that pain really was and how badly he was coping with it.  
"Thank you." He said and, with a slight smile, continued. "You're the first to say it."  
Morgana didn't really know what she wished to achieve with her apology but it did more than she dare dream. Her compassion made him feel that saving her had been the right decision and it grew to something more. She had seen the error of her ways and she had listened to what he had said. She had hurt people but didn't Arthur's continued persecution of sorcerers do the same?

Morgana knew he was a broken man and also that it made him a dangerous man. With some effort, she could attach to him the strings that would make him her puppet. It wouldn't be as it was with Agravaine. No, Merlin was more than that disgusting man would ever have amounted to. Her plotting, however, was interrupted by the sorcerer before her.  
"I'm going to make you an offer. " Said Merlin and Morgana's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "I will restore you to the throne but we do things my way and Arthur's life is mine to take."  
"Agreed." She needn't waste a heartbeat to think about it.  
She wanted to become Queen and she had planned to hand Arthur over to him anyway. Merlin was visibly surprised at her quick response.  
"They know where I live, my spy is dead and if you've got a plan to take over Camelot, who else am I to turn to?"  
He nodded in a near apologizing manner.

They began heading north-west, towards the Isle of the Blessed. Morgana had asked how he got the idea of seeking refuge there and piece by piece he told the tale of Nimueh.  
"She didn't hesitate to kill me though I got there first." The warlock recalled refusing Nimueh's offer.  
"Ever imagined what things would be like if you had accepted?"  
Merlin smiled a bit. If he had then things would've been better than they were now.  
"Uther, Arthur, Gaius and most of the Knights would be dead but the people mostly unharmed." Answered the sorcerer.  
"What about me? You didn't mention me."  
His smile widened. "I imagine she would've kept you alive and shown your magic to Uther just to spite him."  
Morgana smiled along. She would've liked Nimueh and she was pretty sure Morgause would have as well. It didn't go unnoticed that Merlin's attitude had softened considerably since he 'tortured' her but she didn't realize that it was doing the same to her. Both of them had lost people they held dear and both had been so very lonely in the past. Merlin didn't have anyone who could truly relate as only a few knew of his magic. Morgana had played a game of masks and magic and lost everything.

Having arrived at the Isle, Merlin first showed Morgana where he lived. Her jaw dropped at the sight of the nearly unscathed room.  
"This is unexpected." She said.  
"Before she decided to attack Camelot, Nimueh tried to 'heal' the Isle." Explained Merlin.  
Morgana took a brief moment to admire the books in the bookcase. Magic had given her a new sense of respect for books. After all, knowledge was power.  
"Come on, I'll show you where you'll be sleeping." Merlin beckoned her to follow.  
It was a small room which only contained a bed.  
"I know it's not much but I think Nimueh's done a lot of redecorating."  
"So where do you sleep?"  
Merlin showed her his room and immediately the runes covering the floor caught her eye.  
"These runes..." She mumbled as she kneeled.  
"I have no idea what they mean but I imagine they are there to ward off things."  
"This one I know." Morgana tapped her finger on an eye-like symbol. "It offers protection against scrying spells."  
_"So that's why I couldn't scry for you." Thought Merlin._.  
"This one, however, is black magic." She was pointing at a symbol resembling lightning.  
"Can you tell what it does?" Asked Merlin.  
"It's an exchange of some sort. Sacrifice one thing for another."  
Neither Merlin nor Morgana knew the surrounding symbols. The witch tried to recall what Morgause had taught her about runes but they didn't even seem remotely familiar.  
"I think you shouldn't sleep here until we know what it is you're giving up." Said Morgana.  
"I don't feel different."  
"You definitely were." Said Morgana before realising something and cursed. "Goddess."  
"What?"  
"When we met at the druid camp, you were unusually rude." The witch recalled their unpleasant encounter.  
"Sorry about that."  
This was precisely what she meant. He was more like himself now than then.  
"Exactly. You were acting like someone else entirely. What if _that_ is what you gave up?"  
There was a blank look in Merlin's eyes as he walked through the past couple of weeks again. He had behaved unlike himself. The confrontation between Arthur and him was proof of that. He had been sleeping on that bed for over a month and all that time it had been affecting his personality and judgement. It was also the thing that may have caused Nimueh's sudden urge for vengeance.  
"It was messing with my mind." Merlin realised she was right but the wheels in his mind were turning still.  
How did he escape the enchantment? Things had happened and they all revolved around Morgana. She had begged for her life, she had admitted she was wrong and confessed that she once loved him. His feeling for her had brought him back. In this new destiny, she had brought him out of the darkness and he would bring her into the light.

Meanwhile, Arthur Pendragon sat at his cluttered desk and grabbed a blank sheet of paper to write on. He began writing and soon the quill nearly pressed through the paper. When he wrote second sentence he wrote, it did pierce the sheet of paper. Annoyed and frustrated by everything and everyone, Arthur threw all paper off his desk. His breath hitched as he saw what had ruined his writing. Carved into the desk were four letters.

H E L L

* * *

**AN:** Despite what you may think, Merlin is not 'free' of the enchantment. You'll see what I mean later on.  
Also, small spoiler but more of a preview, upcoming chapters will introduce some familiar faces that aren't yet present in this timeline.


	20. Aftershocks

**Aftershocks**

Morgana's feet touched the floor of the cold, empty room. She smiled at the situation she found herself in. After having put so much effort in getting Merlin on _her_ side, she was now on _his_. The journey there had been a frightful one but there was a glimmer of hope at the end. He said he would restore her to the throne and she believed him but he had changed more than once. It would do her well to remain a bit sceptical in case his loyalties for Arthur were to resurface.

Entering the common room Morgana saw a familiar figure slumped on one of the chairs.  
"Merlin?"  
His eyes opened before closing again and stretching his limbs.  
"Good morning." He yawned.  
Morgana sat down on one of the other chairs and took a good look at the sorcerer. It didn't look like he had gotten much sleep lately and even his hair was more of a mess than usual.  
"You look terrible."  
"I'm fine." He sighed.  
Morgana shook her head once more. She thought she was the one.  
"You're not." She insisted.  
"How would you know?" He snapped but immediately something of regret crossed his face.  
Morgana saw this odd kind of anger as shards of the broken curse. This shard of glass, losing his mother, was sharpened by the curse. To remove it she would have to bleed as well but she did not bleed anger, she bled a different emotion.  
"When I lost Morgause, I cried for days. Slowly but surely I cried less frequent until it stopped. The memories still hurt and if I think about them for too long, then I start crying again." She looked at Merlin who listened silently. "There's a time for everything. Camelot can wait."  
Merlin wasn't sure what stood before him. It didn't seem to be the witch that conquered Camelot. No, this beautiful creature appeared to be of a far more gentle nature. Could it be that the events of the last few days had changed her as much as they did him? Or was this who she really was, the woman behind the mask? _"Not the woman behind the mask but the woman she's always been."_ He thought.  
"Should you feel the need to talk..." She offered but he wasn't ready yet.  
"Thank you."  
She gave him a shy smile as and stood up but was reluctant to leave him like this. It was difficult to let go of this, even if it was for just a moment, when all she wanted to do was make him better. Her sister had told her that she was good at healing but his wounds, his scars, ran deep under his skin. They would not yield to magic and never let themselves be forced. All she could do now was to wait and see, helplessly.

It took him just over a day to work up the courage to approach her. She sat in the common room and busy reading '_A History of Hexes_'.  
"Morgana?"  
She looked up from the book and saw the young sorcerer standing before her awkwardly. They hadn't spoken much apart from good morning and good evening. Dinner was a tricky thing as she still didn't trust anything he served her. The warlock didn't take offense and was actually surprised she wasn't visibly angry with him when he first prepared dinner.  
"I want to say sorry. For Morgause." He said.  
Morgana nodded as she laid the book aside. It hadn't occurred to her that he might approach the topic of her sister. Apparently, even in grief, the real Merlin couldn't be selfish. His mind had walked through his memories and found himself to be the devil. He had been like Arthur was now. He was the one that took her family away from her. He felt so much pain, loneliness and an overwhelming sense of dread and only now did he realise what he had done to her.  
"It's alright." Part of her saw he was genuine but that _didn't_ make it alright.  
She merely said what he needed to hear.  
"How... I can't stop thinking about my mother." He confessed as he finally sat down opposite of her.  
"Memories?"  
Merlin nodded.  
"Would you like to tell me about them?"  
He couldn't get his head around the idea that her comforting words were so sincere. Her voice had become softer, more caring, than he remembered. Had he lost the ability to see through her lies or did he really matter that much to her? His mind said one, his heart another. Merlin refused to believe that she was plotting against him when all she did was support him. He talked to her about his mother, still withholding that she lived, and she seemed capable of relating to him. He shared stories about how he got into trouble with his magic and how Will was usually involved. It took a bit of time before he allowed himself to let the tears flow. He was glad she was there.

Two days passed since that heartfelt moment. Morgana didn't see him much as they both kept to themselves. He was out when she woke up but she was there when he came back. It was quite like him to be mysterious but following him seemed like a bad idea. She believed he needed his space and he would come to her in time. It wasn't until Morgana finished her book that she figured out where he went. The witch had gone to the small library to return her book and was surprised to find most of the books, including the damaged ones, back on the shelves. The door closed with a soft, echoing thud and seconds later Merlin's face popped-out from behind one of the shelves.  
"Hey." He said with a shy smile.  
"I was wondering where you went." Said Morgana as she strode to the more spacious area of the library.  
Books were stacked against the walls in two groups, damaged and destroyed.  
"The place was a mess." Merlin clarified.  
Morgana's brows knit in a mixture of wonder and confusion. He had always cleaned up after Arthur but it wasn't because he liked 'neat and clean'. She remembered Gaius telling him, on several occasions, to clean his room and every time he would object because it was 'an organized mess' and things only got lost when he cleaned up.  
"If I remember correctly, so was your room."  
"My magic tends to roam while I sleep." He replied.  
She scrutinized him for a moment. The bags under his eyes had lessened and his hair was back to being its usual mess again.  
"So, how are you feeling?" She turned to the more serious topic.  
"Not great but..." His eyes looked into hers. "I'm sleeping again. Thank you."  
She smiled and he thought she would continue and ask about conquering Camelot but she didn't. She moved through the shelves and took the time to find the new home for her book. She placed a hand on her chest and told herself to calm down. Her heart was racing. When he gazed into her eyes she had felt such fear and she didn't know why. The look he had given her was not unfamiliar. It came from a moment somewhere before the poisoning but she never knew what it meant.

Morgana put her book on a random shelf and made her way to the door when Merlin's voice called her back.  
"Morgana, could we talk for a moment?"  
The fear grew but the rule of her mind was stronger than her emotions. He probably wanted to talk about his mother. She turned to him and he continued.  
"Our fight in the forest-"  
She shook her head and interrupted him, "Don't apologize."  
The warlock chuckled and smiled. "I wanted to say you need to improve."  
Morgana was offended. She comforted him and he just said she sucked at magic. She thought he would at least show some respect but apparently not. This was the kind of blunt remark she had expected when she still schemed with Morgause, not in the first days of their alliance.  
Merlin noticed her shocked look and continued, "Let me explain. Once magic is allowed, your enemies will try and use it to their advantage and I need you to be ready before they do."  
The words changed his bluntness into honesty. If people were allowed to practice out in the open then those same, dangerous people might be able to come close and make an attempt on her life. Morgana had listened well and knew what he was implying but rather than jumping on it, she remained silent as she wanted to hear what else she had to say.  
"You helped my with my mum. Let me help you with this."  
"Okay, let's go." Morgana agreed and left the library.  
Merlin was lost for a moment. _"Wait, does she mean now?"_ He hurried to the door because she most definitely meant just that. Morgana had gone to the same courtyard where he had fought Nimueh, causing Merlin to hesitate once more, and it took him several seconds to realise that the witch was waiting for him to begin. He took a deep breath and decided that it may be best to start with what she already knew.  
"You're powerful but you don't know how to wield it properly."  
There was that look of annoyance again and Merlin decided to ignore it as he had done with her glares when she was still in Camelot.  
"Black magic won't help you when surrounded by knights." He clarified and turned towards one of the great stone pillars that surrounded them.  
"_Forbaern!_" Flames erupted from the palm of his hand and completely engulfed the pillar.  
Morgana stared in awe at the display of great magic. This was the power Agravaine meant when he relayed the tale of how he had boiled the Knights in their armour. He had been practicing without any interruptions about petty chores as had happened in Camelot. He had grown a lot since their duel and not a single hair on her head wished for a rematch. Merlin performed the spell a few more times to see how much he needed to hold back so he could train her. Eventually he decided to let the flames reach less than an arm's length. She was glad that he wasn't paying attention to her gawking at him.  
He rubbed his hands and looked at her.  
"Let's start with a shield, _Shieldan_."  
Morgana cast the spell and Merlin let the flames brush against it lightly. The first time he did it, the shield collapsed immediately and Morgana, as headstrong as he remembered her to be, tried again and again. It went on for what felt like hours but thankfully there was progress. By the end of their training, Morgana was exhausted but Merlin seemed only mildly winded.  
"It's getting late, maybe we should call it a day. You look like you could use a meal." Said Merlin.  
"I could _really _do with a bath but I'm that lucky, am I?"  
"There is one in the building across the library."

The _building across the library_ was a ruin but there was a bath and privacy. Morgana almost moaned as the warm bath caressed her skin. It had been a while since she last had a proper bath. Bathing in the valley where her hovel was would have been a fool's choice. Any pervert could have been looking at her and she wouldn't even have noticed.

Her thoughts wandered back to her lesson. Merlin was far more powerful than she initially thought he was but that wasn't her main concern. What troubled her was that he was being more like himself again and she wasn't sure if that was what she wanted. Was his anger towards Arthur born from his mother's death or from the runes beneath his bed? Their greatest problem was still Emrys and she would ask him about it soon. Then there was that look in his eyes, the one that made her legs go weak, what was that? It made absolutely no sense for her to be scared of him when all he did was help her and promise her the throne. She wondered how he planned to do it. He had demanded to do it his way and that meant a different way but was it sound?

After her bath, Morgana went to Merlin's new study and found him there with a glass of wine and several stacks of books. He wasn't reading anything but parchment lay before him. She sat down opposite of him and discretely tried to read what he had written down. While she peeked at his writing, Merlin looked at how her wet hair draped itself over her shoulder. Without the dirt, the green eyeshadow and tangled hair she seemed so much more at ease. Though she did not know, her restored beauty disarmed him and for a moment he saw the young Lady of Camelot sitting in front of him.  
"What's the plan?" She asked.  
He took a deep breath as he was reminded which Morgana sat before him.  
"We could take Camelot in an instant but that would lead to war. The people might even rebel." He said rather plainly.

Morgana remained quiet, waiting for him to continue. Thus far it was a tactic that seemed to work well with the sorcerer. It showed that him that he had her attention and she noticed he responded well to it. In the back of her mind there was a faint sense of sadness. _"Did no one give you the attention you deserved?"_ The servant worked, the apprentice studied, the sorcerer protected, the drinking buddy drank, the colleagues jested and no one bothered their friends with sad stories. Only some friends, those who really cared, heard the sad stories. Arthur was thick, always had been, Gaius didn't want to see it, as he had done with her, and Gwen... Maybe he had gotten better at hiding it.

"Arthur is Uther." His words pulled her from her thoughts as he continues. "He's made poor choices and I'm the one cleaning up his mess. I told him not to kill Caerleon but he didn't listen, he _never_ does."  
"So we wait for him to make a mistake?" Morgana chuckled and Merlin shook his head.  
The problem with Morgana's plots was that they focused on death. Her ambitions always came second to her desire to kill Arthur. They never fully embraced the darkness that blackened dreams and blurred the lines.  
"No. We break his rule through guile rather than force."  
"How?"  
"You want Camelot. Let's make Camelot want you."

**AN:  
**Next two chapters will focus on someone new to this plotline but I'll make for the lack of Mergana shortly after.


	21. Alliances

**Alliances**

A deep sigh took the attention of the Knight of the escort. This was their fifth day of travelling and the coach which had carried the Princess had broken down on the second day. She was a strong woman and demanded that they not tarry. Therefor she was now on horseback and starting to regret her decision. The corset she wore already squeezed the air from her lungs and now the horse seemed to do its utmost to push out what remained. Despite that, she did not complain. She had made her choice and decided to stick with it. Sir Roland admired her strength but sometimes thought it bordered on being stubborn. Their intended destination was Camelot and they wouldn't be discussing pleasantries. There was a tension between Nemeth and Camelot because of the disputed lands of Gedref. The rulers of both kingdoms had attempted to settle the matter through letters but with so many refused offers it became a very tedious business. Princess Mithian spoke with her father, King Rodor, and suggested that it may be better to meet with the King of Camelot. As a father who was fond of his daughter, Rodor was very reluctant to let her go and made a strong case when he said that the witch, Morgana Pendragon, may try and ambush her. Mithian proved to be very persuasive and convinced him that she was right. The Princess was a woman of diplomacy and preferred it over batting her eyes at the man in charge.

Their first stop was in Almes which lay in Gedref. It seemed a calm and peaceful village but on the horizon was the red of the Pendragon Crest. They had sent word about their visit up front and it seemed that the King was extremely forward with sending an escort. If it was an escort at all. It made her slightly nervous and that tension was shared by her company.  
"I have a bad feeling about this, milady." Said Sir Roland.  
Mithian pulled her eyes away from the men in red to look at the valued Knight.  
"What do you propose?"  
He looked at the road from whence they had come and backtracked it in his mind. Sir Roland wasn't a great tactician but he knew where to fight his battles.  
"The treeline to the west has the high ground. If we make camp there, then at the very least no civilians will get in the way."  
The Princess wasn't sure what he meant by 'get in the way' but whichever definition it was, it would be best to follow the knight's advice.

Although the night was peaceful, the morning wasn't. Mithian was awoken by the sound of wood banging against wood. One of the few servants entered her tent and sat down next to her makeshift bed.  
"Thea." She greeted her maid. "Is it time already?"  
Thea was Mithian's maidservant which she had known for little over five years. She was a bit more outspoken than most servants but never forgot that they weren't equals. There were times in which she had overstepped her authority and this was usually caused by Thea questioning her actions. Mithian didn't mind it as much as she used to. The Princess had come to value her perspective and how it shed a different light on things. Through Thea, Mithian stood closer to the opinions of her subjects. The Princess noticed her maid's sad look.  
"Sir Roland said there was something you should see, milady." She said.  
The maid helper her mistress dress with great haste which made her rather nervous. Leaving her tent Mithian immediately observed the camp. She was glad that there weren't any red capes but it was clear that her company, mainly her guards, were watchful. Mithian's maid, Thea, led her through the trees towards Sir Roland which she could see already.

Mithian wasn't a morning person but managed a small pleasant smile for the Knight. The Princess wasn't one for clever remarks, unless challenged of course. She knew that the Knight would only have requested her presence if it were important. Sir Roland didn't smile back which gave cause for genuine concern. Mithian stood beside him and followed his gaze.  
"What the..." Mithian mumbled.  
The village of Almes was filled with the red of Camelot and although she couldn't see people's face, she could see that it was chaos. The sound added to the picture said it on its own as well. There was the occasional shout but no great screams of pains or such.  
"Why are they doing this?" Mithian said in outrage.  
"We could ask as we_ pass by_."  
The Princess wasn't sure if it was a good idea but they would indeed be passing by on their way towards Camelot. The camp packed up and soon they were back on the road. Mithian and two of her guards, including Sir Roland, made a slight detour at the junction towards Almes. At the village square stood a fat, balding, average-sized man. His fine clothing betrayed his wealth and his barking at the men told Mithian that this loud-mouth probably owned this land.  
"What has happened here, milord?" Asked Sir Roland.  
"I am Lord Tyrwen and by order of the King of Camelot, all that associate with sorcery or are suspected thereof are to be rounded up and brought to the church." The man proudly stated.  
Mithian pinched the bridge of her nose. This was madness! They weren't cattle and these measures were outrageous. The Great Purge had ended many years ago but apparently fear was still how the Pendragon family rules.  
"But why?" Asked Sir Roland.  
Lord Tyrwen was about to speak, or rant, but one of the men spoke before he could.  
"It is rumoured that they are sheltering a witch and ally of Morgana Pendragon."  
"You frighten these people for the sake of a rumour?" Mithian interrupted.  
A look of shame crossed the man's face but Lord Tyrwen was not amused.  
"You want to see us walk hand in hand with filthy sorcerers? They taint these lands with their unnatural magics. It used to be wolves and bears in these forests, not Serkets, Wilddeoren or Balorian Spiders! Some said Uther was ruthless but I think he didn't go far enough! When magic is gone, things will go back to normal again, you just mark my words."  
Mithian looked away from the disgusting man before her. The Purge had been mass murder and this man wanted even more bloodshed.

"Let me go!" Someone shouted.  
One of Lord Tyrwen's men was dragging a woman along by her hair.  
"Stop that!" Mithian commanded and intended to approach them on horseback but one of the soldier blocked her path.  
"Careful, Princess." Warned Sir Roland who was right behind her. "The treaties don't allow us to interfere."  
Tyrwen laughed at her as he shook her head.  
"If you think this is wrong then you might want to know that I'm not the only one. Magic is a weed that keeps growing back. The only way to be rid of it is to destroy all of it at once. Someone will die, even if it's just to make an example."  
Mithian was furious but she did not lash out. Men would have but her anger, her wrath, came in the weapon she wielded better than most, politics. The only problem was that, in Camelot, he acted on the King's orders. It left a bitter taste in her mouth. People were being mistreated by their King, people of Gedref, people she believed belonged to Nemeth. They were _her_ people as much as they were his and he did not treat them well.

Mithian and the two escorting men went back to the junction where they had left the rest.  
"Sir Roland?" She had made up her mind.  
"Yes, milady?"  
"Perhaps it would be best that we return home."  
The Knight nodded with respect. Like him, Mithian knew where to fight her battles. He knew as little of her battles as she did of his but he was thankful her temper hadn't brought war to Gedref prematurely.

The Princess cared little for the King now that she knew how little he cared for his people. His attitude towards magic was an open invitation for lesser lords to abuse their subjects. All they did was collect tax and give close to nothing in return. It was a lord's duty to see to the protection of his people, not hurt them himself. Mithian was pulled from her thoughts when the horses suddenly stopped.  
"Out of the way, boy." Barked Sir Roland.  
Mithian looked past her escorts to see a tall, skinny man with black hair and brown jacket standing in the middle of the road. He didn't even flinch at the knight's words as most peasants would have. This stranger was blocking the road on purpose and what he said next confirmed it.  
"I've come to speak with Princess Mithian."  
The Knight didn't like the fact that he knew who she was. Of course those of Gedref knew _who_ she was but wouldn't immediately know what she looked like. It would have been easy for her to be mistaken with an insignificant lesser lady rather than being the Princess of Nemeth.  
"A peasant has no business with the Princess, whatsoever. Move aside or I will force you to."  
The threat didn't have the effect it usually had on strangers and Roland had expected to find himself being ambushed by bandits by now. The young man before him wasn't impressed and even showed clear signs of annoyance rather than fear or respect.  
"I am here on behalf of Morgana Pendragon." He announced without as much as a hint of hesitation.  
"You have a death wish?"  
The man raised an unimpressed brow and smiled.  
"Do you?"  
The confidence of the man before him unnerved Sir Roland.  
"What's your name?" Mithian called as she brought her horse past her escorts.  
"Merlin, milady" He answered truthfully and most of Nemeth's troops immediately unsheathed their sword.  
"Wait." Mithian ordered. This was a man condemned by Arthur and wanted for sorcery and murder. It made him a criminal to all of Camelot's allies but he approached them openly. Curiosity got the best of her and she wished to give him a chance.  
"You wish to talk?"  
Merlin nodded, "In private but not necessarily alone."  
"I want two of my men with me."  
"Fair enough, milady. Just bear in mind that silence is gold." Said Merlin as he walked off the road.  
Only a fool would have gone alone. Mithian motioned for Sir Roland and another knight to follow her. She didn't think Merlin would try to murder her but he might try something else. There was no harm in taking precautions.

"You've seen Arthur's new policies." The sorcerer spoke with disapproval heavy in his voice but Mithian wasn't sure what to believe.  
There wasn't a doubt in her mind that this was more than coincidence. Either there truly was a witch or there were false whispers to ends unknown to her.  
"Is there really a witch in the village?" She asked.  
"Maybe," he shrugged. "but even if there is, she's not in league with Morgana."  
So if neither of them knew about the witch, then why was he there? Perhaps Merlin wanted to see how the King would respond to a mere whisper about sorcery. There were other possibilities but those were questions she could not ask. Then again, how much did someone really want to know about the dark?  
"Then why are you here?"  
"A truce, milady." He said. "Morgana wants to be sure that, once she's queen, the neighbouring Kingdoms won't conspire against her."

It _seemed_ innocent but the Princess still had doubts. Her encounter with the lesser lord at the village of Almes was planned and it unnerved her but not nearly as much as the fact that he knew she would be there. Had he found out through magic or were there spies in place already? He might have known of the issues between their two kingdoms from his time as Arthur's manservant but that still didn't explain how he knew _when_ she'd be passing through. Curiosity, however, demanded to know something else.  
"What does Nemeth get out of it?"  
Merlin smiled as he raised his arms slightly. "Gedref."  
Mithian summarized it in her head. If they did nothing to break Morgana's rule, they would get Gedref. It was a truce for the future and she intended to make it profitable either way. The Princess knew enough of the games the lesser lords played and it would not be beyond a well-educated commoner to play them as well.  
"It's a bit of a one-sided truce." She replied.  
"Is it? I see many parties profit from such a future. Read into the world before the purge and you will see none of the evil Uther preached. The reason why it may seem one-sided is because you don't consider yourself an ally of Arthur already."  
She had been told that Merlin was a commoner but there was more to him than met the eye. He spoke of the higher goal he wished to achieve which was the time of glory before the purge but these words weren't just spoken, they were crafted. It was true she no longer considered King Arthur an ally and he played into those feelings. This mysterious sorcerer played into her feelings perfectly and that made him dangerous.  
"My father-"  
"Need not know. When the time comes, persuade your father that angering Morgana would be wrong and you will receive what is rightfully yours. I've already discussed this with Morgana and she, albeit reluctantly, agreed."  
Mithian was quiet for a moment and in that moment Sir Roland looked at the Princess with worried eyes. Warriors faced trials on the battlefield but she faced hers now. In the end only one question bothered in the Princess' mind. Could she convince her father?  
"You have your truce."

**AN:  
**So, Mithian, did you expect that?  
'Lord Tyrwen' was inspired by a bit of stand-up by Russel Howard during Mock the Week.


	22. Conflict

**AN:** Absolutely hate the ending of this chapter.

**Conflict**

Morgana's escape from Camelot had angered Arthur greatly. His talks with Gwen had ceased completely but this wasn't because his increasingly erratic behaviour scared her. No, she had actually become more persistent but the King believed that his people needed his guidance and that it left no time for their talks anymore. Without Agravaine, the King no longer had any guidance whatsoever. Arthur had hired mercenaries to search for the sorcerers and raised taxes to pay for it. The city wasn't as peaceful as people wished it to be. The King's mind was ruled by anger and betrayel while desperation claimed his heart. His pain flowed into his Kingdom like blood from an open wound and drops stained the cloth. The people felt his pain, sympathised with him, but the wound was not tended to and festered. Sympathy turned to fear and their King refused to see it.

Bad news reached Camelot and due to the fact that Arthur kept himself preoccupied with magic, Sir Leon had to bring it to his attention. The Knight found the King in his study, standing by a table with upon it a map of Camelot. Although Merlin and Morgana had escaped ages ago, Arthur felt the _need_ to find out how they did it. Unfortunately it always boiled down to one thing; magic.  
"Sire, we've received a rather disturbing letter from Nemeth."  
Arthur immediately looked up from the map.  
"Nemeth? Did Merlin or Morgana cross the border?"  
Sir Leon swallowed nervously. Arthur didn't know that even that kind of 'bad news' was wishful thinking.  
"No, Sire. I fear it may be much worse."  
The King took a deep breath and nodded for the Knight to continue.  
"Passing through Gedref, Princess Mithian witnessed a 'Lord Tyrwen' rounding up '_innocent villagers_' and '_dragging them by their hair_'. She goes on about it for a while and then comes the first piece of bad news." Sir Leon moved uncomfortably and quoted Mithian's letter. "_We believe your policies against magic are harmful for the population and therefore we demand that the lands Gedref be turned over to Nemeth._"  
Arthur ran a hand through his hair. Nemeth wasn't a powerful military force but they were a wealthy kingdom, providing surrounding kingdoms with finer products such as silk and wine. Arthur wanted their allegiance, it was the reason he had agreed to meet them in the first place. He wanted it to be settled as to be able to give finding Merlin his full attention.  
"You said 'first piece', what the second one?" Asked the King.  
"One of our informants has reported that Princess Mithian has met with Merlin."  
"And?" Arthur barked.  
"He doesn't know the details but an army is gathering not far from the border."  
Merlin gained an army. Giving them Gedref would allow them to come closer to Camelot under the guise of filling the garrisons. Slowly their numbers would grow until they would strike, like lightning.  
"Gather the men." He replied as he looked down at the map again.  
"What do you plan to do, Sire?"  
"A pre-emptive strike. She's meeting up with the same sorcerer who I am trying to purge from these lands. I will not be bullied into surrendering Gedref."  
"They're still in Nemeth, crossing the border would be an act of war." Sir Leon clarified and although Arthur understood, he saw things differently.  
"We're already at war, with magic, and this is no different. She claims that my _policies_ harm my people and yet she forges an alliance with Merlin and intends to take our land."

Mithian left her tent quickly followed by her maid, Thea. It had taken little effort to convince her father that the people of Gedref were suffering under Arthur's reign but getting him to agree on sending an army was difficult. She had neglected to tell the King about her encounter with Merlin as this would definitely have put him off the idea. More than a few soldiers disagreed with the current course of action. Camelot and Nemeth had been on very good terms with each other for a while and many people had family across the border.

The Princess looked at her maid who gave her a fake smile for comfort.  
"How long before we cross the border?" Asked Thea.  
The army had made camp near Gedref but they didn't intend to cross the border just yet.  
"We're waiting for Arthur's response but if he doesn't answer in the next four days, we'll act."  
Thea wasn't very convinced about the 'justice' Nemeth was said to bring. Who were they to say what was right? They weren't gods amongst men and Camelot and Gedref weren't the only ones they would have to answer to. If King Arthur did not answer, the army of Nemeth would visit Camelot's garrisons in Gedref and relieve them of their duties. The task was as simple as it sounded. The garrisons were only there to keep the peace. They fought bandits and kept an eye out for armies trying to sneak into the kingdom. Their army counted more than double the men than those in the garrisons. The garrison commanders would abandon their stations as they could easily raze the garrisons and dead men can't fight. Camelot's troops would leave, Nemeth's men would take their places and so they would change their borders.  
"Does this not violate our alliances?"  
Mithian assumed she was referring to invading Gedref and not the letter they sent on its own. It was a tricky situation they were in. She couldn't do nothing when the people of Gedef suffered but voiding their alliances could bring ruin to the whole of Nemeth. Thankfully their relations with the other Kingdoms was strong.  
"With Camelot, probably, but Queen Annis has already stated that Caerleon will remain neutral." Replied Mithian.  
"And you believe Arthur will yield?"  
"With his uncle executed as a traitor and Merlin and Morgana plotting his demise, I don't see him wanting to fight over Gedref as well." She repeated the argument that ultimately convinced her father and the council. It was opportunism at its finest but that didn't mean the outcome was set in stone.

"Good Morning, Princess." Greeted Sir Roland as they approached his tent.  
"Good morning to you, too." She smiled as they stood by the little table. "How is morale?"  
"Some are a bit nervous but most see this as an exercise. They don't think we'll go to war."  
"If all is well, we won't."  
Only it wasn't. A couple of men ran patrols in case bandits got any funny ideas but one of them saw something completely different. He ran for the hills, back to the encampment, and burst into Sir Roland's tent.  
"Camelot's banners are on the horizon!"  
Mithian, Sir Roland and several soldiers followed the patrolling soldier to a vantage point which lay on higher ground. On the horizon was the red of Camelot troops and the dragon that decorated their banner. There were hundreds of them, enough to lay siege to a city. Mithian moved to the nearest tree and puked but Thea was quick to make the Princess presentable.  
"We should have killed Merlin when we had the chance." Said one of the men with a wry smile.  
Mithian recognized him as one of her escorts towards Camelot but not one of those whom had heard her speak with the sorcerer. The remark was a bit out of the blue but Mithian did not see it as a trivial comment. She approached the man and pulled the sword from his scabbard. The Princess did not know how to fight but neither did she need to against an unarmed man.  
"Did you tell them?" She asked calmly.  
He frowned in confusion.  
"A mere threat wouldn't prompt the King of Camelot to do this, but whispers of Merlin would. Your words undermine my authority in front of your superiors. I doubt you remained silent at the taverns you visited. Who did you tell?"  
Mithian knew she was right when the man did not speak in defense of his honour. Honour was something for Commanders and Knights but some of the more loyal soldiers would have spoken up. All she saw was anger in his eyes, his frown, his clenched fists and how he had begun leaning forwards slightly.  
"You're a disgrace." Said Mithian.  
The soldier barged forward but other soldiers pushed him back and brought his hands behind his back. Mithian was startled and her eyes grew with fear. He looked like a rabbid dog baring its fangs.  
"You're the one allying with evil! Have you," He hesitated at the sight of attention he was getting, attention he tried to exploit. "Have ALL of you forgotten the destruction magic has brought upon us?!"  
The Princess quickly overcame her initial fear as she heard the treason coming from his mouth, the _confession_ of his treason.  
"And what of the one you unleashed?" She taunted him, "I did not ally with Merlin. I struck a truce because I want no more bloodshed. If you had kept your mouth shut, Arthur would have given us Gedref for the sake of one less worry. Your betrayal brought war to Nemeth, _to our home_!"  
Sir Roland approached the traitor from behind and grabbed him. The Knight, along with a few other men, went into the forest. Mithian went back to Sir Roland's tent. She didn't yet have the stomach to utter the words to sentence him to death, let alone kill him herself, but Sir Roland knew what needed to be done. Eventually the Knight returned to his tent where their conversation more or less continued.  
"What are our options?" She asked the Knight.  
"They vastly outnumber us. Few of us are on horseback whilst they have a great cavalry. We will suffer heavy casualties whether we flee or not. I can imagine the King ordered the troops stationed in Gedref to spy on us until the army arrived. They know where we are, our numbers and that we are ill prepared."  
"This is war. He won't stop, even if we flee." Mithian worriedly replied.  
Sir Roland sighed at the choice he had to make.  
"We can't win but fleeing will leave us with an army not big enough to defend the capital. Fighting them might decrease their numbers enough to give your father a chance to keep them outside the city walls."  
The Princess nodded.  
"Then it's settled, we fight."  
"_You _don't have to fight. You can still make it to the capital." Sir Roland reminded her with a slightly amused smile.  
"Thea, get our horses." The maid curtsied, unnecessarily, and left Mithian alone with Sir Roland.  
"How long until they're here?"  
"Half an hour. Longer, if they're cautious."  
Mithian turned to Thea who just returned with the horses. She hugged the maidservant without preamble.  
"Tell my father what happened here." She said to her maid.  
"What?" Asked Thea in surprise and Sir Roland agreed.  
"Princess, this is madness."  
"I will not abandon these men. They face death because of my mistakes and I will be with them when they draw their swords."  
Thea looked at Sir Roland in hope that he would change her mind.  
"My mind is made up." Mithian insisted stubbornly, "Thea, you'll be faster if you change horse from time to time. Now you must go and tell my father about what happened here."  
The Knight knew that nothing he would say or do would change her heart.  
"Go." He told Thea.  
"Best of luck." Mumbled Thea as she mounted her horse and left with both hers and Mithian's.  
Mithian turned to Sir Roland, sword in hand, and smiled.  
"Half an hour. You'd better teach me how to fight."

The pair trained for mere minutes when shouting came from the forest west of them, which was opposite the direction Arthur's army was approaching. Before anyone understood what was happening, crossbow bolts cut the air and burrowed themselves into the chests of soldiers and squires. Sir Roland pulled her into the tent and flipped the table so that any bolts piercing the tent would not harm them. It was at this point that the Princess regretted her decision more than anything. It was foolish and she had been a complete idiot. This was not the sort of battle she had read about in the history books. This was chaos, and madness, and shouting, and the screaming of metal meeting metal. Sir Roland saw Mithian's crippling fear but knew he could do nothing about it. Watching tournaments did not compare to the real dangers of battle. She was still so very innocent. She still looked away at a man's execution.

Mithian hoped that Thea had managed to escape but there was little hope of that as she had left but minutes before the attack. The surprise attack had caught them completely off guard. They had been so focused on the troops in the east, the troops which were at least twenty minutes away, that no one suspected anything would happen in the west. Their encampment wasn't in a well defendable location. They didn't think they'd need to. It was imaginable that Camelot would defend its lands but never that they would invade Nemeth.

Rattling armour went past the back of the tent and then they entered, dressed in red and protected by plate. Sir Roland raised arms against the enemy but valour alone did not win wars. The song of metal was fierce and foes fell but there were too many. A sword made its way into his heart and Mithian stared in fear. Her mind was filled with prayers of despair. Enemy soldiers effortlessly knocked the sword from her hand and pulled her from the tent. Outside she saw the devastated camp where so many laid dead.

Being pushed towards the enemy encampment, Mithian saw a small group of soldiers forced into a corner. The soldiers from Camelot kept their distance as they bringing in crossbowman to neutralize the situation. The prospect of pointless bloodshed stirred something inside the. She violently pulled herself from her captors' hands to try and prevent their deaths but she was too late. The bolts flew through the air and blood followed.  
"I could've told them to surrender! You didn't need to _murder_ them!"  
Not far from her came a man's voice.  
"I would've given you Gedref. You didn't need to _betray_ us."  
She looked at him, the blond haired man with a crown atop his head. King Arthur.

**AN:**  
After this somewhat boring chapter, we will have a tiny bit of Merlin/Morgana.


	23. Stars

**AN:**  
After two chapters without Merlin/Morgana interaction, you deserve a reward. Unfortunately I don't have any cookies. I do, however, have another chapter.

**Stars**

A piercing scream tore him from his sleep. He quickly put on his shirt - he was still wearing his pants - and went down the corridor to Morgana's room. Merlin opened the door without knocking and, as expected, Morgana was sitting upright and staring into the distance.  
"Are you alright?" He asked but there was no response.  
The warlock moved around the bed and sat down next to her.  
"Morgana, are you alright?" He asked as his arm went to her back but she shook as soon as he touched her.  
"Don't touch me." She rebuked.  
Having comforted each other in the past, it felt strange to Merlin she did not accept his. It frustrated him to no end that she did not trust him. His shock and discomfort did not go unnoticed by the witch but she hadn't the energy to do anything about it. He might find her rude but she'd apologize in the morning and be done with it.  
"Just... Send me to sleep or something. I know you have a spell for that." She said.  
Merlin shook his head and replied, "I could but I won't."  
"Why the hell not?" She demanded.  
He had asked Gaius the same question. Merlin had trouble sleeping in the days following his father's death. The potions barely helped but Gaius refused to turn to magic for what he called a trivial persuit.  
"It breaks the sleeping pattern. At some point your body will rely on the spell to send it to sleep."  
"I'm not going to drink any poisons-" Morgana stopped herself, swallowed, and apologized. "sorry, I meant to say potions."  
This was what confused Merlin so. Her anger was justified but she was starting to be more considerate. The wrath of the witch was still there but, like a rose, there was beauty beyond the thorns. Morgana could be so very fickle that it would put him off his game.  
"I'd like to show you something." He said as he offered her his hand.  
Morgana didn't know what he planned to do. With him there was always that unexpected twist you wouldn't expect. First came his fierce loyalty to Arthur and then he saved Mordred. Now that she knew of his magic, the latter wasn't as surprising as before. So what would he want to show her? It wasn't a spell of any kind as he would have done it by now. No, he wanted to show her something he couldn't bring to her.

Morgana took his hand, not bothering to change as there was no one else on the isle. They went outside and walked for less than a minute until they entered another building. Inside, Morgana stared at the ceiling or rather lack thereof. The night sky seemed to fill the room and the stars' radiant bodies brought light to the room. The moon was larger than she had ever seen it before. It brought a whole new meaning to '_being close to the stars_'.  
"It's beautiful." She whispered in awe and Merlin gently pulled her to the centre of the room.  
While Morgana wondered what ancient magics used to be practiced in this room, Merlin wandered off to grab something from the corner of the room. He came back with a roll of fabric under his arm. Morgana took notice of it and looked at him strangely.  
"I come here when I can't sleep." He said as he rolled out bedroll.  
The sorcerer sat down next to the bedroll and Morgana laid down on it. She smiled slightly as it became clear how comforting the night's sky really was. The room, however, was still a room and the weather outside did not influence the temperature inside.

Was this where he disappeared to those first days she was at the Isle? It did bring a sense of peace. She was glad he showed her this. _"Even after you've been so horrible to him."_ She thought to herself.  
"I'm sorry about earlier." She apologized.  
"I'm sorry for... it wasn't your fault." He almost apologized for the 'poison' but he had said sorry enough.  
Her heart felt heavy for him. After he scorned her and shown his regret, she had done so many things to hurt him. The tables had turned, she was at his mercy, and he showed kindness. After all the hate, he showed her kindness and she felt incapable of being kind herself.

She turned her head and saw him on his back, looking at the stars as well. In the back of her mind, a childlike voice spoke _"Kindness is in little things"_.  
"Merlin?" She got his attention and scooted over so he could lay besides her on the bedroll.  
The warlock hesitated and Morgana swore she saw red on his cheeks. It made her wonder how someone so strong and powerful could be so awkward. The answer was simple. He was Merlin. He accepted the offer since the stone floor was cold and far from flat. They could barely fit on the bedroll and so their shoulders brushed against each other.  
"Do you know which is which?" She asked.  
"That one, the bright one," he pointed with the hand which was closest to her. "is the north star which always shows north."  
Morgana listened to his stories as they flowed from one to another and tried to keep track of which stars he spoke. She laid her head against his shoulder without a second thought. The position they were now in was nothing short of cuddling. Quite quickly Merlin deviated from his stories and they were picturing all sorts of things in the stars.  
"That one looks a bit like a snake." She said.  
Merlin 'drew over it' with his finger and replied. "It's just a squiggly line, several actually."  
"It's _not_ a squiggly line." Morgana insisted with a playful smile.  
"No, they're the wrinkles on Gaius' forehead."  
The witch smiled and chuckled. She looked at him and thought of how quickly he pulled her from her nightmare and into this silly little game of stargazing. It was fun despite its childishness. _Fun_, when was the last time she had fun? Planning and plotting quickly lost its charm but Merlin made her smile with this innocent game. How did he wrap her 'round his finger so easily? More importantly, however, why did she like it?

Morgana sat up straight and turned to the sorcerer.  
"Merlin?"  
The warlock sat up as well.  
"I know I can be unreasonable sometimes and I appreciate you're putting up with it." She said.  
Merlin thought about saying something comforting such as '_it's alright_' but he didn't know what she wanted and decided to listen silently.  
"It's... I'm not ready. When I look at you, I don't always see an ally. I thought I'd be over it by now but I'm not."  
"What was she like?" He asked.  
It shouldn't have surprised her that he knew she was referring to Morgause. Her sister's death struck closer to her heart than anything else. Nonetheless, it was an odd question for him to ask.  
"Why do you care?" She asked honestly.  
"Because I am to blame for it. For your pain and hers."  
Merlin was being his old self once more but this time she did not worry that his allegiance might change. Although the first steps towards the throne had been made, they could still be undone. To her, it was his request that proved his loyalty. The Merlin that belonged with Arthur would never have asked about Morgause. This man wanted to know what drove her sister and what he had taken away from her. With the right words she could strengthen his faith in her and their cause.  
"She was strong." Said Morgana, half-expecting him to try and prove her wrong. When he didn't, she continued. "She remembered the memories we shared of our childhood and she filled the gaps of mine. Things she knew set me free of so many doubts and it brought me to trust her more than anyone."  
Again she had expected Merlin to try and prove otherwise but still he didn't.  
"And she was kind. I've made mistakes when she taught me to be a high priestess but she always encouraged me to defy the odds. It wasn't like Uther's tough love where everything was conditional. It was helping me pick up the pieces like you always did." She paused and corrected herself. "Like you do now."  
Merlin began to understand why she turned on Uther. Every child wanted the approval of their family and Uther never supported her in anything. The only acceptance he had shown her was in wake of his own mistakes. _Just like Arthur_. Morgause hadn't won her sister over solely because she was family. She brought the warmth of family and acceptance no Pendragon ever showed.  
"She was more like family than Uther ever was." Merlin concluded.  
There was the faintest smile on Morgana's face before she started looking at her hands again.  
"We used to play checkers. I remember always winning when playing against father but he never lost to anyone else though I did. I examined his moves closely and he was no fool but sometimes Morgause would distract me so father would cheat to his own disadvantage."  
With so few memories of her father, these little things were a world of importance. The moments were so small and to some they seemed so insignificant but to Morgana they were everything. Gorlois had been a good father to her. He didn't let her win so she would grow stronger or more confident. He did it so he could see her smile.  
"I never knew." She mumbled.  
Morgana lost more than a sister. She lost her childhood. The fond memories of her parents had lived on through Morgause until her death. She lost her parents, was haunted by nightmares, discovered she had magic and there was no one there for her. Morgause was the one with answers. It was natural for Morgana to go to her. She had become the voice of reason. In the darkness, alone, one would trust a guiding light. The darkness Morgana now carried with her was his fault. He refused to guide her properly when she feared her magic and later he took away her guiding light, he killed her sister.  
"There's something we forgot." He said and continued at the sight of her frown. "Your bracelet. We could go and get it."  
"We haven't the time." Morgana asked in disbelief.  
"C'mon, it's not like you're going to sleep any time soon."  
Morgana shook her head. Because of all they had done she had almost forgotten about her vision, the one she saw through the eyes of another.  
"Arthur has captured Mithian. We haven't the time."


	24. Opposite Ends

**AN:** Time for me to stop procrastinating and just post it. Although I might not always say it, I really appreciate your reviews. They do help me write faster.

**Opposite Ends**

Arthur had initially refused to speak with Princess Mithian but he couldn't refrain from boasting about his talents as a _tactician_. He proudly explained that the army in the forest were peasants carrying banners with only a few real soldiers amongst them so that they would not break formation. The real army had taken the long way around and then attacked from the flank. After the King was done boasting and seen the chains bind her wrists together, he made for Camelot with the rest of the cavalry.

The army, along with the prisoner, made camp in the Valley of Fallen Kings. There weren't enough tents for everyone and set them up in front of the entrance to one of the nearby caves. Sir Leon took command of the troops and told them to construct a prison for the Princess. It was excessive, he knew that, but he didn't see any harm in being cautious. Morgana had been a capable fighter long before she discovered her magic and they knew too little of Mithian to be sure she was unskilled.

Mithian's prison' was made of old wooden logs and rusty nails which were better suited to tie the horses to the trees but the cavalry was long gone. There was no door in it as there couldn't be a key for a non-existent lock. The makeshift prison could easily be broken out of but not without making a lot of noise. It wasn't there to keep her in. It was there to alarm them if she got out. Sir Leon decided to put a man on guard nonetheless.

"Let Gwaine keep an eye on her. He'll probably do it anyway." He joked and the Knight smiled in response.  
The Knight with the roguish smiled sat down by Mithian's cell without a word or glance. She looked at her jailor. She had seen him smile towards the other Knights but now, alone, there was no smiling. His averted eyes showed he didn't want to be here. Not just here with her - he would be wishing to be with his friends if he did - but here in Gedref. Most commanders or generals who executed orders they disapproved of would display a temper. This man, Gwaine she heard him be called, wasn't angry. He was sad and his eyes betrayed regret.

"You should try and get some sleep. I fear he'll make you walk." He said suddenly.  
Mithian wasn't scared of him. He was paying far too little attention to her to even be seen as a threat. This was a reluctant Knight.  
"What have I done to deserve such callousness?" She asked despite knowing it was a silly question.  
A prisoner of war did not enjoy many luxuries and neither would she, regardless of her noble heritage.  
"Nothing."  
"Then why is he being like this?" She pushed for an answer seeing as King Arthur had been called 'noble and kind' in the past.  
Gwaine sighed as he shook his head but Mithian wasn't sure if the gesture was meant for her or him.  
"I don't know. He's not like his ordinary self."  
"Are _you _scared?" Mithian asked and the knight smiled.  
"Anyone in his right mind would be. It's what keeps you alive."  
"Unless it consumes you." She added and he nodded in agreement.  
A silence followed in which Mithian pondered what question to ask him next but Gwaine had questions of his own.  
"Did you see Merlin?" He asked.  
This time it was her turn to sigh.  
"Arthur assumes I have an alliance with him and yet you ask if I've even met him. But the answer is yes, I have met him."  
Mithian noticed how this caught the attention of the handsome knight and it intrigued her greatly. Why would anyone take an interest in her dealings with him? They had already decided she was the enemy and this man was asking about them for himself. At least this man had a mind of his own rather than simply believing what others told him.  
"How was he?" Gwaine asked.  
"You've never met him?"  
Gwaine frowned slightly.  
"Not what I meant. I wondered if he was well."  
It surprised her that one of Arthur's knights would express any concern towards the sorcerer at all. Then again, it was clear he wasn't happy with the way things were going. Mithian quickly moved past her surprise in hopes of uncovering more about the relation between Gwaine and Merlin.  
"He's a bit skinny but otherwise fine." She answered truthfully.  
"He's always been skinny." Said Gwaine who relaxed at the news and put his back against the wall.  
"Did you know him well?" Mithian inquired.  
"We've had our fair share of adventures." He replied with a melancholy smile.  
"A friend, then." She continued guessing.  
Gwaine looked towards the entrance of the small cave to see if anyone was listening and Mithian, as if wanting to share idle gossip, did the same.  
"A good friend." He finally replied.  
She could almost hear the tears he did not cry. This unlikely friendship between him and Arthur's former manservant had left its mark on the man. When friends become enemies there are questions that need to be answered, even more if you don't agree that they're enemies.  
"Magic changed that." It was Mithian's way of showing sympathy but Gwaine brushed it aside.  
"Propaganda." Gwaine wanted to set the record straight. "He's always had magic."  
_This_ interested the Princess. A sorcerer had been living inside the walls of Camelot for years. He saved Arthur's life more than once whilst having every reason not to. When Morgana chose to fight Camelot, he remained loyal. What kind of a man was Merlin really?  
Gwaine's talkative nature caused him to continue the conversation.  
"Something _did_ change him though. I fear Arthur pushed him too far." He said.  
"How?"  
It came as a surprise to Gwaine that she did not know. Then again, Arthur might have set things in motion to silence the rumours.  
"Kidnapped his mother and, by accident, she died. He blames Arthur. As do I."  
"Yet you choose Arthur over your friend." Mithian laid her finger on the odd decision.  
Gwaine merely smiled knowingly. Had Merlin asked after that dreadful day, he wouldn't have known what answer to give and if he were truly honest with himself, he still wouldn't know. The Knight bit his lip and told himself to stay quiet despite the fact that he enjoyed her company. He had already said too much to an enemy of Camelot, an ally to Merlin, a mere stranger to himself.

Mithian caught on to his silence and did not push for more. She had been lucky enough to have heard what he told her. A short while later came a burly Knight carrying a bowl in either hand. One bowl clearly contained soup but the contents of the other bowl was unclear.  
"What is this?" Gwaine asked as he held up the prisoner's bowl.  
"Leftovers." The Knight replied surprisingly softly as he went back to the other men.  
The dark haired Knight passed his bowl, rather than the leftovers, over to Mithian through the bars.  
"Why are you being kind to me?" Mithian asked.  
"I saw how the death of your men upset you. Not everyone cares as much."  
Caerleon was the name that went through his head. He was a King that did not care, nor did his wife. At some point he thought that Arthur cared but now there were doubts there as well.  
"Thank you."

Merlin could barely see where he were going. The only eyes he had were his hands and they were covered in mud. Casting a light spell was risky as he didn't know where the knights were. Morgana had said that they had made camp at an entrance of the caves and that all the caves were connected. Merlin found the caves to be a maze but he shouldn't be complaining as it was him that told Morgana not to come. She had given excellent directions, she knew the Valley like back of her hand, but he didn't see where he was going. Talking Morgana down from coming along took surprisingly little effort. He didn't know if she wanted him to prove himself or if he actually convinced her. Should they run into any knights, they would be far more eager to strike Morgana rather than him. Being alone allowed him to move fast and silently.

Finally there was light at the end of the tunnel and Merlin knew that would be where Camelot's army had made camp. He slowly moved closer to the light that nearly blinded him because his eyes had adjusted themselves to the dark. Merlin stumbled against something and a shadow rose from the enlightened part of the cavern.  
"Who's there?!" Someone spoke with a hushed voice.  
The warlock blinked a couple of times before noticing it was Gwaine that more or less noticed him. He took a deep breath and stepped into the light.  
Gwaine smirked and almost giggled. "You look like rubbish."  
Merlin smiled as well as he laid a mud covered hand on his mud covered face.  
The smile fell from the Knight's face as he remembered the last time they met. "I'm sorry." Gwaine had not yet apologized for not being able to stop his execution.  
"It's not your fault." Merlin empathised.  
Gwaine couldn't see the enemy in Merlin he was supposed to see. The former manservant looked and acted the same and it seemed that the only thing that had changed was the side he was on. The warlock looked past the Knight and at a seemingly sleeping Mithian.  
"You don't have to eavesdrop, Princess." Said Merlin.  
The future Queen of Nemeth sat up and stretched her back, not saying a word.  
"She doesn't belong here." Said Merlin as he turned his attention back to Gwaine.  
"You mean she's your ally."  
"It's merely a truce to keep Camelot from turmoil once Morgana is queen. She wasn't supposed to get involved like this."  
Gwaine sighed at his inner conflict between the duty to his King and his friendship with the outlaw.  
"Will you let me help her?" Asked Merlin.  
The Knight looked at Mithian. She was no scared little girl to be sympathised with but neither was she vengeful. The Princess was bright and not easily frightened. She showed no ill will towards him, her captor, but it was not to be mistaken for mindless submission. There was a determination in her eyes that told him she would not let an opportunity pass her by. If he had to describe her in one word, it would be 'admirable'.  
"Be quick about it." The Knight told him.  
Merlin approached the makeshift prison and held his hand through the bars.  
"Princess?" He asked.  
Mithian hesitantly took his hand, unsure if that was what he really meant. Merlin let go of her hand and grabbed her forearm with a look on his face that told her she should do the same. What happened next, she did not expect. One moment she was surrounded by the bars of her cell and then, witnessing the gold in his eyes, she stood beside Gwaine.  
"Strange..." Merlin muttered.  
Neither Mithian nor Gwaine understood what he meant by it but neither did they get the chance to ask.  
"Gwaine, sit down." Merlin spoke in a near commanding tone of voice.  
The Knight hesitant ly did as he was told and was both curious and reluctant to find out what came next.  
"_Swefe nu._"  
Gwaine slowly closed his eyes as his head leaned forward, a reassuring snore followed after which Merlin turned to Mithian.  
"I need you to hold on tight and don't let go. It'll probably hurt."  
She took hold of his forearms as she had done before and felt a tingling sensation all the way through her body. A searing pain caused her to close her eyes and dig her nails into his arms.


	25. Two Princesses and a Servant

**AN:** This chapter is longer than usual and is quite angsty but I had to cut some of the story to keep things within reason. (

At Merlina Fever: I love to hear people wanting 'evil' characters so they're on Merlin's side. Also, Gwen will be in the next chapter.

**Two Princesses and a Servant**

_She took hold of his forearms as she had done before and felt a tingling sensation all the way through her body. A searing pain caused her to close her eyes and dig her nails into his arms._

There was something on her face. It was cold and sticky though the latter was because it was wet. It took effort to open her eyes and take in her surroundings. She was in a forest and stuck on his face was a simple leaf. She rolled onto her back and sat up slowly. Mithian remembered escaping with Merlin, or at least until the moment he cast the spell. He warned her there might be pain involved but never that she might be flung across a forest which seemed to have happened. Mithian looked around for the sorcerer and found him laying several feet from her. She moved over to him on hands and knees and turned him over to shake him a bit. He groaned, much to her relief, and opened his eyes.  
"I feared you were dead." She commented.  
Merlin sat up as well and clutched his side. He wasn't in any physical pain but he felt _something_ was wrong.  
"We should get moving." He replied.  
Mithian got to her feet and helped Merlin onto his. She noticed him swaying a bit.  
"Merlin, are you alright?"  
"Yeah, I'll be-whoo-" He tried to walk but his mind was faster than his feet.  
Mithian quickly stepped forward and caught him. She could see the confusion on his face and hear his ragged breath. She put his arm around her shoulder for support and asked which way to go since she didn't recognize their surroundings. He pointed in a direction without a second thought and she did so but not without a doubt.

Rain brought ripples to the water they approached. A rickety boat lay on the shore but its destination, presumably on the other side of the river, was shrouded by fog and bad weather. Merlin nudged towards it and Mithian followed. She helped him get in the boat and managed to push off. The sorcerer was a mess. He was shaking from the cold and rain dripped from his nose and chin. The Princess rowed for a little while until Merlin touched one of her hands. He then turned to the fog before them. Foreign words came from his mouth and the fog cleared to reveal the majesty of the white towers of the Isle of the Blessed. The warlock smiled at the big eyes of the Princess. He didn't want her to miss the magnificent view from the water.

Sitting in the library, Morgana heard someone call her name. The sensation sent a shiver down her spine and an ominous feeling followed. She discarded the book she was reading as she got up and went outside. The rain had not let up since she went to the library several hours ago. She spotted someone moving in the distance. It took a moment for her to realise that they were actually two people. Then shock washed over her as she saw that it were Mithian and Merlin and that she was supporting him.  
"Merlin." Morgana cursed and hurried over to take over from Mithian.  
They went to their chambers and left Mithian in the living room.

Morgana carefully laid Merlin on his bed and saw him doze off to sleep almost instantly. For a moment she wondered whether it was Arthur or him that used to get them into trouble. Merlin was reckless every now and then and selfless as well. The witch took it as a sign that he was becoming more like his former self, like the Merlin she used to know. So why did this frighten her? With all the wrong Arthur brought into this world, surely he would see that she was right, wouldn't he? Kind and caring Merlin had always been on her half-brother's side. Having him, kind and caring rather than dark and vengeful, on her side was an idea that still seemed out of place.

_"You don't know half how much I worry about you."_ She thought as she let her hand rest against his cheek. _"You and your cheekbones."_  
Morgana went back to Mithian who stood in their living room, browsing the books but mostly just reading their titles. Mithian turned to Morgana as soon as the door closed.  
"How is he?" She asked.  
It was a strange experience for Morgana that another person, let alone another woman, to be worried about him. Was this jealousy? No, this was a woman who had every right to be worried about her saviour. It was merely odd that, despite being against Arthur, Merlin couldn't stop saving lives.  
"He'll be alright." Morgana tried to reassure her and an awkward silence followed.  
Neither woman knew what to do next. Morgana made a mental note to scold Merlin and have him tell her about his plan.  
"I'm lost." Mithian admitted all of a sudden.  
Morgana smirked at her honesty and returned it in kind. "So am I."  
"He wasn't supposed to bring me here?"  
"He was supposed to take you home. I fear we won't know why he hasn't until he wakes."  
"I see." Was Mitian's short and awkward answer but Morgana didn't let another silence follow  
"I wonder if we've got still got a spare bed."

Morgana did manage to find a spare bed but the sheets were troublesome. Seeing as Mithian was their guest, Morgana gave hers to the princess' and used the rags for her own. When the future Queen of Nemeth laid in bed, her minds was not without worries. To tell herself she was free would have been a lie. She was Morgana's prisoner now but the accommodations were far more hospitable. She didn't think she'd meet Arthur's infamous half-sister and least of all that she would act the way she had; with decensy. The stories she heard of her being a mad witch might not have been as accurate as she first believed. It did not mean they could be discarded because as with every story, it probably held a grain of truth.

Merlin's chamber was still dark. It was obvious to her that he hadn't awoken since she'd put him to bed. Morgana put the tray on his desk and sat down on the bed. His brows knit together and slowly his eyes opened.  
"Hey." Morgana smiled. "How are you feeling?"  
Several answers came to mind and the first of them was 'warm'. It wouldn't be the bed he was referring to. It was sentimental for it described the warmth her smile just brought to his heart. It was so far from the smirk and so close to that one smile he yearned for. Reality robbed him of that warmth and caught up with him.  
"Hollow." He said.  
"You gave us quite a fright."  
"Sorry." He said, "Would you mind if I go back to sleep?"  
"I would." She said and received an odd look from him before continuing, "You should eat something, even if it's literally just a bite."  
Merlin put his back against the headboard of the bed and took a bit of bread.  
"How is Mithian?" Merlin asked.  
"She's taking it well." She replied with a slight shrug.  
"And you?"  
Morgana pouted and playfully taunted him. "I can't live without you."  
The warlock smiled as he shook his head.  
"I'm glad to see you're awake." She ended on a more serious note.  
Merlin almost forgot all about the bread in his hand. Despite their past problems, they were picking up the pieces. He had fought her for so long that he didn't notice how broken she was until their talk about Morgause. She had said how she had trouble seeing him as an ally but Merlin found this moment worth the wait.  
"I'm going to check on Mithian. I think she might need me even more than you do." She jested.  
The sorceress made for the door when something occured to the warlock.  
"Morgana." He called so she would turn around. "Thank you."  
She gave him a slight nod and closed the door on her way out.

Morgana was surprised to see Mithian sitting on her knees by the undying flames in the fireplace. At first she thought the Princess of Nemeth was crying but that didn't seem to be the case when she got closer. Mithian was examining the fire. As if noticing her presence, she turned around.  
"How can it burn without wood?" She asked.  
Morgana knew it was made with magic but took it for granted, not thinking much of it until Mithian asked. The witch didn't know how a spell could sustain itself but it was indeed peculiar.  
"Purged Magic." Morgana coined the term. "I don't think anyone knows."  
Mithian looked back at the fire and Morgana observed her for a moment longer. Mithian didn't seem to fear magic or she hid it very well. Morgana had made it goal to bring back the Old Religion and wondered what would happen if the Princess saw more magic. It would help her see if Mithian was a potential ally that would follow their ways or if their truce would remain a truce.  
"Would you like a tour around the Isle?"

Morgana led Mithian through many of the ruined buildings of the Isle. Most of them had a story but most of them were short as Morgana could only relay what she had heard from Morgause who remembered the days of the Purge. Eventually wandered to a place Morgana had a history with. The white slab still seemed to be stained with red from her sister's blood. Morgana ran her fingers across it but Mithian didn't seem to notice her eyes lingering on it.  
"This is where the Veil was torn." Morgana announced.  
Word of the deed that brought the Dorocha into the realm of the living had stretched far beyond the borders of Camelot and Nemeth was no exception.  
"Is it colder here?" Asked Mithian as she brought her hands to her shoulders.  
"Magic still seeps through some of the cracks which makes it _seem _colder."  
Cold wasn't how Morgana would describe it. The sorceress felt watched and the 'cold' chilled her bones. It was difficult for her to stay in this place for long. There was the memory of ending Morgause but also the fact that Morgana was far more in touch with magic than Mithian.  
"The more magic one holds, the greater the chill." Morgana mumbled.  
"You're telling me I have magic?" Mithian prompted and Morgana smirked.  
It was _extremely_ tempting to tell the Princess that she did and, technically, it wouldn't be a lie. If she were anyone else, Morgana would've said yes.  
"_Everyone_ has magic but not always enough to actually cast spells." She explained.  
"Then what makes sorcerers different?"  
"Parentage plays a role but magic itself may manifest at any time. Mine manifested itself as dreams of the future which makes me a seer. Before you ask, I don't how Merlin discovered his."  
Mithian nodded absently and Morgana thought it was enough magical education for the day. She was proud of Mithian as a teacher was proud of a student. Mithian had asked the right, intelligent questions and far more open than most people of noble birth.

They went back 'home' and saw Merlin reading through a book by the table.  
"Feeling better?" Morgana asked with a slight smile.  
"Still a bit under the weather." He replied as he put the book aside.  
"Can you tell us what happened?" She asked as both she and Mithian sat down.  
The warlock's shoulders moved up a bit as if he were cold though the enchanted flames in the fireplace kept the room comfortably warm.  
"Getting Mithian out of the cage wasn't a problem on its own." He began. "However, it was more difficult with her than it was with you."  
Mithian followed Merlin's gaze and looked at Morgana. She wanted to the witch's response but there wasn't any and Merlin continued.  
"Your magic lightened the weight but Mithian doesn't have magic. Knowing we would never make it to Nemeth I brought us east, here, instead."  
"But I couldn't use my magic then. How could it have lightened the 'weight'?" Asked Morgana.  
"The poppet merely restrained it but the spell could still leech off it."  
Mithian felt lost once more and was still left with questions she didn't want to ask in front of Morgana.  
"Morgana," Mithian spoke before either of them could continue. "may I please speak with Merlin in private?"  
The witch turned to her partner in crime who spoke in her mind.  
_"I'll be alright."_  
Mithian saw nothing more than a stare between the two but was glad when Morgana nodded at her in agreement. She went back outside which left Mithian with Merlin.  
"What happened between you and Arthur? I heard you were thick as thieves." It was awfully rude for a lady in her position but it was the question which had been burning to ask.  
The real question was '_what makes a man 'betray' his friend?' _and she could tell he knew this by his sudden demeanour.  
"Too much sacrifice, too many lies and no legacy but to be remembered as a traitor." He said bitterly.  
Not much of what happened in Camelot made it to Nemeth, not the truth. Most of them were exaggerated and elaborate beyond reason but they mostly entailed what happen within the castle walls rather than the personal conflicts.  
"Could you tell me about your sacrifices?" Mithian asked almost shyly.  
He pondered the idea but he didn't want to tap into those dark and dreadful memories.  
"Because of him and his father, I lost both my parents." He sumarrized.  
"You're doing this for them?"  
"No." He said with an odd smirk. Hunith would never have approved though his father might have sympathised. "I'm doing this for me and I owe it to Morgana. It's everything or nothing at all."  
"Vengeance." Mithian summarized.  
"Almost. Arthur isn't as fair a King as he's made out to be. Morgana can be a better Queen if she's given a fair chance."  
Mithian nodded but Merlin could tell she wanted to fight his claim only something had held her back. Being in the presence of two powerful sorcerers, it would be a mistake to insult either of them. They could always hold her hostage and force Nemeth to fight Camelot but it would be a sign of weakness to have to raise an army like that.  
"If you would excuse me, there's something Morgana and I must discuss."  
Mithian didn't have any more questions and Merlin went outside and after Morgana who was probably in the library. When he couldn't find her there, he went to the observatory.

"There you are." He said as he closed the door.  
She was sitting on the bedroll he kept there. Morgana didn't show Mithian the observatory. It was something Merlin had shown her and she didn't think it would be right for her to share with others.  
"How was your talk?" She asked.  
"Dull." He replied.  
Mithian didn't need to know their reasons as it wouldn't change the truce that had already been made. The only thing that might be affected would be her conscience.  
"So what did you and Mithian do while I was 'out'?" Asked Merlin.  
"I showed her some of the Isle but not this."  
Morgana saw the corner of his mouth curl upwards slightly as he glanced at the stars.  
"Would you like to do some practice tonight?"  
"Are you sure you're up for it?"  
Morgana wasn't sure he had fully recovered but the warlock smile and cheekily replied "It means I won't have to hold back."  
She bit her lip and playfully glared at him. "You're on."

Merlin was already there when Morgana arrived in the dead of night. She felt like she did when she snuck out of Camelot and it was a strange sensation that she was doing it for a man. If she had done anything of the kind during Uther's reign, she would've kept doing it just for the thrill of it. Merlin - she refused to call him master or teacher - seemed his regular, lanky self despite his weakness. Morgana planned to bring Mithian home soon but only after Merlin was well as he knew they would. There was plenty of time to practice and it made her wonder why he wanted to practice with her at night when they had time to spare.  
"Why did you want to do this at night? Is it because of Mithian?" She reasoned.  
Merlin nodded. "I don't want to frighten her. Even those in Nemeth have been taught to fear magic. They don't understand what it's like."  
Morgana didn't like the fact that Merlin was showing his soft side to a complete outsider and almost scoffed at it. He had known the woman for less than a day, they barely knew each other. The soft and gentle manservant was to stay in the background. She needed him to be tougher than that and less forgiving than he was in the past though not the recent past. Did it not occur to him that she might have taken him for a fool and betray him in the end? She would most certainly act differently towards them if she knew Merlin's powers were beyond that of a High Priestess. Morgana would not let that woman take him away from her without a fight, she didn't even have magic.  
"You're looking out for her? How sweet." The words seemed kind until she dryly added "She'll have to come to terms with it eventually."  
He frowned. From what he had seen, he thought they got along just fine. "I thought you liked her."  
Morgana shrugged. "She's nice but nothing special. I mean, she doesn't have magic."  
"That's shallow."  
"It's true."  
Merlin didn't understand why Morgana was being this way."Have you looked at her?" He asked. "She's asking questions in hopes of understanding our cause rather than fear us and hope for the best. Does it remind you of someone?"  
She knew the answer by the way he said it. He was trying to make a point and she had no trouble seeing what it was.  
"You mean me?"  
"Who you used to be."  
And that stung her more than she would ever admit. Not only did it hurt to hear he preferred her old self but also that Mithian was more like that. He was in love with the old Morgana and his words implied that he may have feelings for Mithian.  
"I don't want to hear it." She said and began walking away.  
Morgana bit down and held her head high to keep the tears at bay but Merlin didn't see her pain. He believed to see arrogance.  
"Get off your high horse, Morgana." He taunted her.  
The witch spun around and marched towards him though it became evident he didn't mean to hurt her by the look on his face. Still, she wasn't going to let him get away with it.  
"You can't say things like that and expect me not to care." She shouted.  
Merlin, knowing he was wrong, spoke in a soft, almost whispering voice. "You've spoken of your old self with so much disdain, I thought you didn't."  
"But it's still _me_ you're talking about."  
That's when he realised how much he must have hurt her. There was a silent friendship between them and it was as fragile as glass. He broke it with a brick. He had told her that he liked the woman who she used to be and not the sorceress she was at the moment. Adding to that was the fact that he _loved_ the Lady of Camelot and he compared her to Mithian.  
"You don't even care about me, do you? You only want vengeance!" She raged.  
"You..." Merlin raised his voice but stopped before he would say anything he might regret.  
Morgana, on the other hand, wanted to hear what he had to say for himself, what made him think he could get away with it.  
"Say it! Be honest and tell me what you're thinking!"  
"You're telling me I don't care for you at all but you _know _I did. It's what always held me back."  
She fell silent. She too was being unfair. He didn't see how his words had hurt her and she said he didn't care when he had done so for so long. _"And for so long, so did I."_ She thought.  
"Mithian is _like_ you; intelligent, kind and open to magic. But she's not the same. She didn't help defend Ealdor or smuggle food in times of need. I didn't mean to upset you."  
That calmed her quite a bit and she knew why. Contrary to what she thought before, she _was_ jealous. Part of her still clung to him and she didn't want to let him go or even share him at all.  
"This always happens, doesn't it?" Said Morgana. "Either we're friends or we're fighting."  
"I don't want to fight. We've fought for so long already."  
"We share a past but we've changed as well. Maybe things will get better as time goes by."

**AN:**  
I know they argue a lot but it'll be different after this.  
The planned story was longer but this is where I stranded. Originally, Merlin and Morgana have _another_ talk but I thought it unnecessary and repetitive.


	26. Camelot

**AN:**  
At "FMAlover555 i really like that": I see you've noticed. I haven't really decided on an ending which means a lot will happen before the end and tragedy can go either way ('either way' in every possible way).

The end of this chapter may spark some anger.

**Camelot**

Gwaine knew it was time to face the music. It had happened on his watch after all. Merlin's magic became clear to all those in camp when they tried to wake him. They only managed to wake him from his deep sleep by throwing him into the water whilst a bucket of water did not work. He should be feeling guilty about letting, possibly even helping Mithian escape only he didn't. She hadn't wronged anyone and, knowing what her letter to Arthur said, she cared a great deal for her people. Arthur, on the other hand, had become quick to judge on everything that opposed him. Gwaine had visited Gwen when he returned and learned that she had spoken with the King when he returned. According to Gwen, Mithian's capture was all he talked about. The Knight could imagine his anger when he heard that the Princess had escaped.

Elyan, Percival and Leon were already at the council chambers when Gwaine joined them. Arthur and the lesser lords sat in a half circle. They stopped their chatter as they saw that the Knights were complete. The Knights felt as if they were being put on trial and, in a way, they were.  
"You all know why we are gathered here today. It is to find out how Princess Mithian escaped custody." Said Arthur.  
There were some whispers between the lesser lords but they were silenced when Lord Thesar stood up. Lord Thesar ruled some small lands along the border of Gedref. He wasn't very outspoken but he needn't be. His lands were only mentioned in the gossip shared between old women.  
"Knight-commander Leon, would you please step forward?" He asked.  
Leon looked at his fellow Knights and approached the council.  
"Sir Leon, you led the Knights in the King's absence, is that correct?"  
"Yes, milord." He replied.  
"Where did you make camp?"  
"We made camp at the entrance of a system of tunnels in the Valley of the Fallen Kings."  
Members of court whispered loudly but Arthur's gaze did not wander.  
"You are aware that those are Morgana's lands?"  
It hadn't slipped the Knights mind but there was no reason to believe that the Valley was still a dangerous place.  
"She has not set foot in the Valley since we caught her there. Not one whisper says otherwise."  
Thesar moved away from the council and closer to the Knight but kept his distance.  
"Those whispers came from the druids who lived there and they have been purged from those lands not long ago."  
Leon cleared his throat but was without reply.  
"Where did your men hold Princess Mithian?" Asked Thesar.  
"We occupied part of the tunnels and she was at the back of it."  
"And who was guarding it when she escaped?"

Sir Leon took a deep breath. He didn't want to blame anyone but thankfully he didn't have to. Gwaine stepped forward.  
"I did."  
"Sir Leon, you may step back." Said Thesar.  
He took a moment to look at Sir Gwaine before firing off his questions.  
"How did you guard the Princess?"  
"We had made her a small prison from what wood we could find."  
"And she wouldn't be able to escape?"  
"Not without alerting half the encampment."  
"So this little prison cell was at the back of the camp? Where the system of tunnels began to spread?"  
Gwaine knew what Thesar was getting at but he wasn't going to fall for it so easily.  
"Anyone coming through those tunnels would need light and that would reveal them to us."  
"Did it ever occur to you that a sorcerer might not need actual light?"  
Gwaine, thoroughly annoyed by the man, found an enjoyable thought.  
"I wouldn't know, milord. I'm not as educated in the forbidden arts as you are." He stated with feigned innocence.  
"No more questions." Said a nervous Lord Thesar after which he returned to his seat.  
King Arthur rubbed his forehead. This council had been absolutely pointless. He wanted to know whose fault it was but there was no one to blame.  
"Merlin outsmarted us but it won't happen again." Arthur declared as he got up from his chair and beckoned the servants.

The servants moved the table to form a long line and one of the servants laid out several maps.  
"Moving on. Sir Leon, where do we stand?" Asked Arthur.  
"People are growing restless since you've declared war on Nemeth and raised taxes. To make matters worse, Queen Annis has stated that she disapproves of your invasion of Nemeth. But I fear that worst of all are the skirmishes with troops from Essetir."  
"After we've sorted this mess out, we'll put Lot in his place. Be it with army or assassin."  
Leon looked at Arthur with other eyes. It wasn't like Arthur to say something like that. It was something Uther would say. He was pulled from his thoughts when he noticed Arthur's eyes upon him.  
"We've also arrested a man spreading word about how Merlin wishes to 'reinstate' Morgana as Queen and how he is promising a just ruler."  
"Hang him. He needs to be made example of." Condemned the King.  
Again, Arthur spoke like his father.  
"Are you sure, Sire? He-"  
"He speaks treason and any who interfere with his arrest may be hanged as well." He judged but Leon didn't think it so clear cut.  
"There _are _sympathizers within our walls, always have been."  
Arthur shrugged at his comment.  
"Imprison them for a day, then let them go."  
"Have you heard yourselves?" Questioned Gwaine all of a sudden.  
Council members looked at him with annoyance and Knights in surprise. Was he the only one to see they didn't have their priorities straight?  
"You've just been informed you're at war with two countries and you speak of hanging bought criers."  
"I can't have Merlin or his voice within these walls. He's the greatest threat to Camelot right now." Arthur replied.  
Gwaine didn't know anything about ruling a kingdom but he did know a thing or two about people.  
"Call a man a liar and people will only see one man's word against another's. Have him spread the word of Lot and he is a man who will say anything for a pretty penny."  
Arthur didn't waste a thought on the idea. "He's still a traitor and he will still hang."  
Arthur did not only remind Gwaine of Uther; he also reminded him of Caerleon. Caerleon that refused his mother's plea for help when her husband died. Gwaine saw pride and fear and anger. A good King felt the same things but in moderation. Arthur displayed them in abundance.  
"Are you _that_ scared of Merlin?" Asked Gwaine.  
"I have an army, Camelot and walls that have withstood a dragon. I am wary of him, NOT scared." And of course that bold claim was said with so much anger that Gwaine knew he was overcompensating.  
"Nemeth is left reeling from their defeat, it is Lot you should focus on and still you insist on a witch-hunt that will lead nowhere."  
"You don't trust my judgement, Gwaine?" Arthur scolded the Knight but he did not yield.  
"When your mind is clear, I do." He argued.  
"My mind _is_ clear."  
"You've not stopped wearing a sword since Morgana escaped." Gwaine pointed out.  
Arthur was quiet for a moment. Gwaine was right about the sword but that didn't make him right about everything.  
"Will you or will you not follow my orders?" Repeated an agitated Arthur.  
Gwaine had always had a problem with authority figures but always saw his fellow Knights as equals, something Arthur stopped doing not so long ago.  
"Not today."  
Arthur's face contorted with contempt.  
"Gwaine, you are hereby released from my service. You have until dawn to pack your belongings. Your sword and armour is to be returned to the armoury."  
The Knight removed his scabbard - which still contained his sword - and placed it on the desk in front of him before leaving the room.

Hours later, Arthur felt renewed. Gwaine and his near-insurgence was gone, Merlin's crier no longer poisoned his city with his lies and things would return to normal once they had found Merlin.  
"Ah, Gwen, there you are!"  
"How can I help you, milord?" Gwen insists on calling him by his proper, formal title.  
"There's something I'd like your help with later today, before you go home for supper." He hastily adds the latter.  
She distrusts the smile on his face and the twinkle in his eyes but she doesn't show it. She merely nods at the King and the evening brings something rather unexpected.

Entering his room later that day, she found Arthur enjoying an early supper.  
"I thought you needed my help with something?" Gwen dropped the formalities out of annoyance.  
Arthur smiled and looked at his extravagant supper.  
"This is too much for just me." He said and it was only then that she noticed the second plate.  
"Arthur-" She began but he didn't let her finish.  
"Guinevere. I'm sorry for the way I have behaved recently. I'm sorry for calling you a servant and I'm sorry for neglecting you. I thought I could rely on my uncle and the alliances between the Kingdoms but I was wrong. There has only ever been one thing I could truly rely on and it's been right in front of me the whole time. The sight of you brings a peace to my heart that is beyond compare."  
This was the complete opposite of what happened before, when he told her she was a servant and not an advisor. Now he called her more than a servant, more than a friend, and she didn't know what to do with it. She had felt torn between her love for Arthur and her friendship with Merlin but that changed once they _knew_ he was working with Morgana. It was true that Arthur had pushed him towards her side but, ultimately, it was Merlin that decided to do so. Despite their differences, Gwen still cared for Arthur but it wasn't as strong as it used to be; it wasn't love.  
"Just this once." She indulged his plea but it was more out of fear of the consequences than anything else.

**AN:**  
_**Before you get mad**_. Gwen has seen near to nothing of Merlin. She hasn't seen his emotions and she doesn't know his motives. The news and rumours within Camelot are everything she has to go on. Game of Thrones does a lot of these 'villain is winning' sort of things and it keeps readers interested. Arthur isn't Geoffry (Arthur actually holds love for Gwen) but that won't keep me from trying.

What is the name of the capital of Nemeth? I don't believe it's ever mentioned. If anyone knows of a good name, leave it in your review and I'll see which I find best.


	27. Ellander

**AN:**  
At "FMAlover555 i really like that": Saying 'please' did help.  
Sorry for the long wait. I'm moving out of my parent's while studying for exams. I hope posting another chapter will deal with my guilt for making you wait.

**Ellander**

As they walked through Ellander, the capital of Nemeth, Merlin saw people were staring at them. The Princess was bound to get people's attention but the warlock noticed they seemed to be more interested in Morgana. The throne room was more exotic than that of Camelot and in the centre of the room stood the throne. The King rose from the throne at the sight of his daughter. As Rodor hugged his daughter, Merlin noticed Morgana averting her gaze. The warlock could only guess Morgana either compared Rodor to Uther or missed Gorlois.  
"Are you well?" Rodor asked his daughter.  
"Yes, father. I'm fine. These are Merlin of Ealdor and Morgana Pendragon."  
The King did not seem capable of understanding that these infamous sorcerers had saved his daughter.  
"These are the people who saved you?"  
Mithian nodded and the King continued.  
"Thank you for bringing my daughter back to me."  
"It's not without reason that we did so." Morgana replied.  
Rodor raised an eyebrow and turned to Mithian.  
"I struck a truce with them. When Morgana becomes Queen, we shall withhold support from Arthur and remain neutral. In exchange we will receive the lands of Gedref."  
Merlin noticed that Mithian's explanation of the truce sounded a lot stronger than when he explained it. He had said 'do nothing' and Mithian changed it to 'withhold support'. There was a difference between the two but that didn't change the truce they had made.

With Camelot's recent hostility and its 'state of war' Rodor decided that they could only benefit from this truce.  
"It's a truce we will uphold." Said Rodor. "But you must be tired. I'll have a room prepared for you."  
"One room, separate beds." Morgana replied.  
Rodor beckoned one of the servant which led Merlin and Morgana to their room. Once they were alone Merlin spoke his mind.  
"Something wrong?" Asked Merlin. He didn't understand why she wanted to share a room. He sooner thought she'd want the opposite.  
"I trust _you_, not them."  
Morgana saw separation as a threat as it was the oldest strategy of all.  
"Divide and conquer." Merlin mumbled.

There was someone knocking at the door.  
"Yes?" Morgana replied unsure.  
Mithian entered the room with a small smile on her face.  
"Is everything to your satisfaction?" Asked the princess.  
The seer nodded and Mithian continued.  
"Would you like to visit the market with me? Let me buy you a dress, it's the least I can do for you." Said Mithian.  
It had been a long while since Morgana last went to a market without having to wear some sort of disguise. A new dress would be lovely considering the black rags she still wore.  
"I'd like that."

Several hours later, the Princess' shopping with Morgana had ended abruptly when a man of the city watch approached her about a prisoner. Mithian initially refused but their stroll down the markter had been nearing its end and Morgana insisted she tend to her people. Mithian never went to the prisons; mainly because she had no reason to. Times had changed and most of her recent actions were out of her comfort zone and so was this one. The prisoner that had asked for her was no stranger.  
"You!" Mithian exclaimed.  
"Hello, Princess." Gwaine said with a broad smile.  
"What are you doing here?"  
"Aggravated assault but, in my defence-" Gwaine was about to explain when Mithian interrupted him to clarify her question a bit.  
"I mean Nemeth. You're one of Arthur's Knights."  
Gwaine bit his lip and replied, "Not really."  
There it was again, a flash of pain and regret as she had seen when she was his prisoner. She wouldn't have noticed it if he hadn't been biting her lip.  
"He didn't have his priorities straight and we got in argument when I tried to convince him otherwise. It ended with him firing me."  
"So you come here?" Asked a bewildered Mithian.  
"I know where his armies are, their numbers _and _their orders. You haven't an army to invade them but it's enough to defend your county."  
She already knew Gwaine would want more than his freedom in return. Did he want money, lands or titles? There was a slight problem with his offer but that could easily be fixed.  
"It doesn't matter that I owe you a favour. It matters whether or not I can trust you. You are selling information concerning a King you once swore to protect."  
"As he swore to protect his people but he too seems to be doing the exact opposite."  
"Two wrongs don't make a right." Mithian replied. "I'll be back shortly."

Gwaine lay down on his bed and waited for about fifteen minutes before he heard anything human in the silent prison. Footsteps made their way towards him and Gwaine pretended to be taking things easy with his eyes closed.  
"I shouldn't be surprised." Gwaine shot up at the sound of the familiar voice and was surprised by the face he saw. "And I'm referring to the prison." Merlin finished.  
"Merlin! It's good to see you." The former Knight spoke as he got up from his bed.  
The warlock smiled. Gwaine had been imprisoned for aggravated assault along with another man who was caught for stealing. Gwaine claimed he had been robbed and that's what started the bar brawl.  
"Mithian said Arthur fired you."  
"He did."  
"How does that make you feel?" Merlin was testing him. Anger existed only in the moment of betrayel and if Gwaine replied with 'anger', then he would be lying.  
"Tired." _Tired of doing what you were told, fighting their wars and saving their asses without any recognition._  
"Seems you were right to despise nobles after all." Merlin recalled their first encounter.  
Gwaine smiled at the irony he felt. "Not completely. Out of all the nobles I've met, the only one who isn't a cunt is a woman."  
Merlin took it with a pinch of salt as he always did have a way with women but that wasn't all. Gwaine usually only admired the beauty of women but Mithian was nobility and not a simple-minded tavern wench.  
"What makes her different?" Merlin asked in wonder.  
"She... cares." Gwaine had a bit of trouble putting into words what he was thinking.  
"I'll fetch one of the guards to have you released."

Merlin being who he was, he wanted Gwaine's stolen property returned. They went through the thief's affects when something stood out. A gold, metallic spiral, inscribed with words from Old Religion caught his attention. Merlin picked it up and examined it more closely. The inscription was only on one side and it ended unnaturally with a split character. A piece was missing.  
"What is that?" Asked Gwaine.  
The warlock put it in his pocket and raised his eyebrows.  
"I have no idea what you're talking about."  
The rogue smirked and the two made their way to the entrance of the prison. Just before opening the door, Merlin walked over to the jailor.  
"Tell that man he is to be executed for possessing a magical artefact. Tomorrow you will tell him he is to be released due to lack of evidence. Understood? Good."  
It was an unnecessary precaution but it made theft seem like the action of a good Samaritan.

The two old friends left the city and were at the town square when one of them finally broke the silence.  
"I heard Morgana is in Nemeth." The disapproval in Gwaine's voice was clear. "Arthur being wrong doesn't make Morgana right."  
"They're both wrong." Was Merlin's surprising reply. "They will wage war forever until one of them finally wins. Blood would paint the streets red but it doesn't have to."  
The implication of a war without blood made Gwaine raise an eyebrow at his friend.  
"I can help Morgana win whilst sparing as many innocent lives as possible." Merlin explained.  
"I'm not sure I want to know what you're planning." He replied unsure.  
It saddened Merlin to hear that. Gwaine did not share his views on Morgana and their goal but at least they could talk without being enemies. He hadn't expected Gwaine to leave Camelot like this and he didn't include him in his plans either. Nonetheless, a Knight would have come in handy.  
"Any plans of your own?" Asked Merlin.  
"Not going back to Camelot." Gwaine wryly replied.  
A thought in Merlin's mind made him giggle internally but on the outside he was merely smiling.  
"There's one thing I'd like you to do for me."  
"Such as?" Gwaine asked with a worrying undertone.  
"Keep Mithian safe. I have a feeling Arthur might retaliate still."  
Gwaine almost sighed in relief.  
"I'll keep an eye out."

After saying goodbye to Gwaine, Merlin went back to his room in the castle. He told one of the servants to bring him some wine and sat down by the window with an old book. Two glasses of wine had passed his lips when the door opened to reveal Morgana. Merlin's jaw dropped at the sight of her. The witch with the tangled hair and black dress seemed ancient history when compared to the well-defined Lady before him. Black, slightly curled hair draped itself on her shoulders. The burgundy dress Morgana wore was of fine making but not as extravagant as she would have liked. It showed off her hourglass figure which had only become more prominent due to being underfed.  
"How do I look?" She asked as her hands went to her sides and made said figure even more attractive.  
"Wow, You look wonderful."  
"Thank you." She cooed. "The Princess and I went to the market together."  
Eying the glass in his hand, Morgana walked past him to pour a glass of her own.  
"You've bought more than just clothes." Merlin noted.  
"What gave that away?" She asked with as she poured herself a glass of wine.  
"You smell nice." He said in a husky voice.  
Merlin caught on to his enamoured voice and looked away to hide his blush. Morgana also noticed his voice and saw him being very much off his game all of a sudden. She still had _it_. She almost smiled to herself but wondered how much of _it_ she still had. She walked over to him and he turned his head to look at her. Morgana raised her hand and let it brush against his stubble.  
"You need to shave." She purred.  
Then she felt the palm of his hand rest against her cheek and his thumb moved across the bags under her eyes.  
"And you need to sleep more."  
She retracted her hand nearly out of shock. He caught on to what she was doing and mirrored it. He was smirking at the sight of her slight shock. They were playing the same game they had when she was spying for Morgause only the terms were different and so was he. Merlin was far more bold than he used to be. If this was a side-effect from the runes, she liked it.

Merlin poured himself another glass as Morgana sat down at the table.  
"It's still hard to believe." Morgana mused.  
"What is?"  
"That you're on my side and helping me take back Camelot."  
He smiled. A few months ago, none of this would have seemed possible. He wouldn't have thought Arthur to be capable of being so carless towards others, to make such rash decisions and hateful actions.  
"This is how it should have been from the start." Morgana sighed softly.  
Merlin's stomach leapt. She was being open and honest like she had done before all the madness. It wasn't something he attributed to 'the sorceress' but it had remained.  
"I thought you hated me." He spoke with wonder.  
"Because you chose Arthur's side when I wanted you to be on mine." Morgana replied with a bit more conviction than she had intended.  
Despite the wheel of time, bits and pieces of her former self were still very much there. She was kind when he was ill and this was her usual stubbornness.  
"I don't hate you anymore but that doesn't mean I've forgiven you."  
They weren't the words he was looking for. "I need more wine." Merlin muttered as he poured himself another glass.  
There was an odd smile on her face when he turned back to her.  
"Of all the times Gaius said you were at the tavern, how many of them were true?"  
The memory seemed rather distant but it didn't take him too long to recall.  
"Most Saturday evenings and, during spring, Friday evenings as well."  
"How did he describe you drinking habits again? 'One whiff of a barmaid's apron'?"  
"'and you're singing like a sailor'." Merlin finished.  
"Yet I've never heard whispers of you chasing barmaids."  
"Never had the time."  
That seemed unlikely to Morgana. At some moments he was caring and charming but on a rare few occasions, she saw a fierce hero. He had saved Arthur quite a few times and risked his life. Serving girls did gossip about him at the time but none of them had been his girlfriend. If he had known he could pick any one of them, he would not have passed it up.  
"Did he really give you that many chores?" Asked Morgana.  
"No. I risked my life to protect Arthur and anyone involved with me would be at risk as well."  
"I was at risk already, why not come to me?"

He knew how to read between the lines. She was telling him she would have reciprocated but the wine inside him made him decide not to approach the subject and stick to the question instead.  
"The Lady of Camelot and a servant? You were the unattainable dream."  
"We were friends." She replied adamantly.  
This was where they usually began bickering.  
"Can we please change the subject?" Asked Merlin in an attempt to prevent another fight.  
Morgana immediately relaxed but didn't let it rest.  
"I enjoyed our friendship then and I hope it can be like that again." With that said, she gave him a peck on the cheek.  
"There's something I've been meaning to ask you." Said Morgana.  
Sparks were flying inside his head. Was she going to ask if he still had feelings for her? Was she going to propose moving beyond friendship? Maybe she wanted to do something new together like a date.  
"What do you know about Emrys?" Asked Morgana.  
All the joy was washed away from his face.  
"I don't want to talk about it. At least not now." He tried to push it away. He knew Morgana might argue with him, expected her to do so, but he knew things might be even worse if she did know.  
Morgana, on the other hand, didn't get angry. She did something else entirely.  
"I'm sorry for what he did to you." She was sympathising with him. She saw them as two different people and that made it so much worse.

His mouth was dry. You couldn't outright tell someone your destiny _used to _involve killing them.  
"Emrys believed that, with proper guidance, Arthur would one day allow magic."  
"Far chance." Morgana muttered.  
"Please don't make this any harder than it already is." Merlin pleaded. Morgana still had no idea what the relationship between him and Emrys was. Clear was that it hurt him. "Emrys' belief were the words of the Kilgharrah, the last living dragon."  
"How long was this ago?" Morgana inquired.  
"Four years or so." She looked at him in disbelief. Emrys' quest had only begun four years ago? At the time she was still Uther's faithful ward but apparently his destiny had not always been her doom. That changed when she tore the veil and the Cailleach prophesised it. "He isn't the old man you believe him to be." Merlin finished.  
"A glamour." Morgana reasoned but that was not the end of it. Merlin knew a lot about Emrys, about his past _and_ the glamour. "But then you know what he really looks like?"  
"Emrys is not his real name. It is what the druids call him, what the druids call... me."  
All of her assumptions had been proven wrong. Emrys did not lead Merlin astray as she though he had. They were one and the same. Questions, once thought answered, climbed from their graves but there was one more pressing than the rest.  
"I thought Emrys made you poison me. I thought he led you astray-"  
"Morgana." Merlin wanted to calm her before things would take a turn for the worse.  
Her next words were not in anger but in despair as it seemed her whole world came tumbling down. "WHY DID YOU POISON ME?!" She cried out as tears silently began to fall.  
The trust between them had come undone. He should never have told her but now it was too late. The damage was done and all he could do now was to tell her the truth. He owed her as much.  
"Because I was scared. Gaius and Kilgharrah kept telling me to keep my magic from you and they kept saying that you were not to be trusted."  
"And?" She demanded.  
''I told them they were wrong but then you persuaded Tauren to kill Uther."  
"You knew?"  
"And in the end, you did prove them wrong. You changed your mind and saved his life."  
"It doesn't answer my question." She reminded him  
"The sleeping spell did not affect the dragon and I asked him how I could lift the spell. He told me to destroy the source, to kill you."  
"And you did it like a good little soldier." She said it with as much venom as she could but her tears made it obviously clear the anger was part of her mask.  
"And never again." He added.  
Morgana pondered what he meant by that. Did he _never again_ listen to the dragon or _never again_ try to kill her? Being Emrys, he certainly had the opportunity to do it.  
Merlin was not done talking. "On the day of my execution, the dragon let slip that my destiny could have been on either side. For years he preached that it was my destiny to be at Arthur's side. He withheld the choice only he knew existed."  
Everything he said boiled down to her original thought. He had been led astray. There was point in time which the dragon had no hold over. Merlin didn't intervene when she tried to have Uther killed for the first time and he never retaliated.  
Merlin had come to the end of his story. He had to make clear that he was doing this for her.  
"I'm telling you this because you needn't fear him anymore. Please understand that Emrys' destiny is dead now."  
"You _are_ Emrys." Part of her was still connecting the dots, she needed more time.  
"Not anymore. Arthur will never trust magic, nor will he ever trust me. Emrys is gone."  
That was true. His bond with Arthur could never be mended. Breaking destiny was bound to have consequences and Morgana was trying to figure out what had become of it. He had helped her for a while now. What he said about _their_ destiny was something she both liked and wanted to hear. Besides falling for each other in the past, there was a connection between them and she never pushed it. Maybe it was because of their love that they were too carefull with each other. So many possibilities...  
"Please. You are all I've got."  
He was getting desperate.  
"What if I say no?" Asked Morgana.  
She saw him recoil and it struck a nerve inside her. As much as Emrys was the enemy, as much was Merlin her friend. Although she wasn't going to say 'no', she wanted to know what he would do without her. Would he carry on fighting or let go to live out his days elsewhere? Merlin could lie to her but thought that if she even suspected a lie, she'd push him away again.  
"I would see if my mother would remember me." He said with his eyes averted. "She's safe but I couldn't save all of her. She doesn't remember me. I still lost her. After that, I'd plan Arthur's demise."  
As unlikely as it may have sounded, she believed him.  
"Tell me your plan and I'll reconsider." Said Morgana.  
He nodded, knowing that this changed the balance. She had cornered him and, knowing his plan, she would take charge. He spilled and it gave Morgana both time to process what he had told her about Emrys and appreciate his cunning plan.  
"It's brilliant." She replied afterwards.  
"What about me?" Merlin demanded to know whether or not she'd have him stay.

Morgana now knew Merlin was Emrys and why he had always protected Arthur. According to Merlin, Emrys no longer existed because too much had happened for Arthur to ever allow magic. Merlin was powerful, resourceful, cunning, kind, caring, honest and loyal. She didn't intend to let him go so easily.  
"You could have lied and said only you can protect me from Emrys but you didn't. You were honest with me and I'm not going to punish you for it. As I said before, I trust you."

**AN:**

Pffff...


	28. Pawns

**AN:**

At Guest: That's because FF readers (or rather writers) have learned to use paragraphs is if they were line breaks.  
Left of the contrast button there is a button to adjust the line spacing (it's called story spacing). 'Expand' that a couple of times and things will be more readable for you.

**Pawns**

"You fired Gwaine?!" Gwen exclaimed.  
The King had hidden the Knights departure from most people but she and Gwaine had evening talks on a regular basis and he had gone missing. Asking Arthur did not give her the answer she was hoping to find.  
"I need people that listen to me and don't undermine me." Arthur replied.  
The young maid shook her head in disbelief. Arthur could be thick but when did he become _that_ thick?  
"He wasn't undermining you. He wanted you to see the fault in your strategy."  
"He wasn't listening." Arthur persisted.  
"No, he wasn't taking your orders without a second thought. He's not a soldier, Arthur, he's a knight." She tried to correct him once more but he wouldn't listen.  
The King of Camelot was heading for the door.  
"Where are you going?" She asked.  
"Out. This conversation is going nowhere." And with that, the door closed.

Many miles away, Merlin and Morgana sat by a campfire. They had left Nemeth not long ago but not before Morgana had changed back into her ragged black dress so her new dress would stay clean.  
"Your plan is missing an army." She noted.  
"I know. I had planned on hiring the Southorns but we can't outbid Arthur."  
Morgana's head shot up.  
"Arthur is hiring mercs? How can he afford them when he's already raised taxes?"  
Merlin merely shrugged and replied "I have no idea."  
A short silence followed in which both pondered several idea.  
"Annis, Odin or Lot?" He asked.  
Morgana frowned. None of the three options was particularly attractive.  
"Annis has respect for Arthur, she won't fight him. Odin hates Arthur but he's reckless and he'd seize the first opportunity to kill him. Lot would be a gamble as well."  
"And Nemeth isn't strong enough." Merlin finished.  
"There are the Saxons." She suggested almost upbeat.  
A small frown appeared on the warlock's face.  
"I don't know much about them other than the fact that they're still north of Caerleon, it would take them a while to get here."  
Morgana smirked, for once she knew more than he did.  
"The Saxons are faithful to the Old Religion. They don't have an army like a kingdom would but neither do we need a large army."  
"I'll speak with Annis if you think you can deal with the Saxons." Proposed Merlin.  
"No problem."  
Then Merlin hesitated for a moment but he decided to press on.  
"One last thing." He said. "As long as you call yourself Pendragon, people will always see you as the bastard that wants the throne."  
"Technically, I am." She deadpanned.  
Merlin didn't let her reply diminish his spirit and continued. "But it's not about the throne or birthright. This is about setting free those with magic and people need to see that."  
"You want me to stop calling myself Pendragon?" Morgana asked with a confused smile but Merlin wasn't trying to be funny.  
"I want you to start calling yourself Le Fay again." He said in a serious tone of voice.  
"Le Fay." Morgana repeated. It had been a very long time since the family name last rolled down her tongue.  
The family name, Pendragon, had been haunting her. Her heritage was a very mixed blessing. Being an heir to the throne seemed like an advantage but all it had done was pushing her real goal out of sight. She had been so focused on killing the King and claiming the throne that she didn't realise she wasn't doing it for the people anymore. She was doing it because she thought she deserved to be Queen.

"I will." She agreed after a pregnant pause.

A day later, a man approached the citadel in Caerleon. The guards didn't recognize him as a servant and blocking his path.  
"State your business."  
The man fidgeted with his shirt as he spoke with panic in his voice. "We saw Morgana Pendragon, me and those of my village-"  
One of the guards raised his hand so he would stop talking. The situation was quite clear.  
"Follow me." Said the armoured man.  
He was hurried into the citadel and then the throne room.  
"My Queen, this boy says Morgana Pendragon is in Caerleon." Said the guard.  
Queen Annis rose from her throne, almost in shock. The commoner wasn't as _common_ as she had thought. She had seen him before and recognized him when he raised his head.  
"I know you." She stated calmly.  
"Then you know what I intend to ask you, ma'am." He replied.

There was an air about him that unsettled her though only those who knew her well would be able to see. The stories were truer than she believed them to be. A servant turning against Arthur was believable but not the manservant that had been working for him for over five years. This wasn't the innocent serving boy and Annis realised he probably never was. This was a dangerous man.  
"Tell me, Merlin. Why should I care which Pendragon sits on the throne? Both are rash and have a temper. One's tyrany is against magic, the other's against those who refuse to give allegiance."  
Merlin had expected her to do something like that.

He decided to start at the beginning of the end... of her husband.  
"Your late husband, may he rest in peace, was to sign a humiliating peace treaty for his life. It was Agravaine's idea and I urged Arthur not to do it. Arthur knew he would never sign it but believed that leniency was weakness and thus he chose Agravaine's way. Arthur thinks too much of the opinion of other kingdoms. He is a vain and arrogant man who does not foresee the consequences of his actions. In my opinion, such a man is not fit to rule."

"You only speak of Arthur but Morgana is equally rash. She is more like Uther than you realise. She condemns those who do not side with her and even the druids, the people she claims to fight for, fear her. Both rule by fear and I do not see why I should care." Annis was not a Queen who merely sat at her King's side. She had a mind of her own and she would challenge him.  
"Morgana..." Merlin almost began speaking of how Morgana only wished to bring back the Old Religion but Annis did not care about that. "She wasn't always like that. You knew her when she was a child, when she was Morgana _Le Fay_, and I got to know her as Uther's rebellious ward. I've seen her inspire a great deal of people and they weren't just druids. The woman I saw then would make an excellent queen. She can still be that woman but only if she's given the chance. She's not asking for an army. She's asking you to give her a chance."

Annis wasn't one for melancholy. She didn't live in the world of yesterdays or in the kingdom of _could be_.  
"Is she? Because I don't see her asking. Is she too proud or too afraid to ask me herself?" Annis tried to taunt him but he didn't give in to it.  
"She's busy. Kings and Queens are not the only people in power." He replied.  
The Queen of Caerleon caught a glimpse of the man that got Arthur so riled up. Merlin wasn't just a sorcerer and a great actor. There were indeed other people with great power. The Southorns Arthur had hired were one such power and there were bound to be others, possibly more faithful to the old religion. His words definitely weren't Morgana's so he wasn't stupid either. Annis decided to push him one more time to see just how good he really was.  
"Did she bed you? You changed allegiance very suddenly and you're quite persistent." Her words entertained him but he kept his seriousness.  
"I thought Arthur would one day allow the Old Religion once more and I've fought Morgana all that time. Never did I expect him to betray me." During the last sentence there was a crack in his mask that showed sadness.  
"So now you follow her instead." He nodded and she continued. "I need time to consider your offer."  
"Then I will take my leave of you until tomorrow." Replied Merlin.

Just north of the country Caerleon, Morgana had defied the blizzard that ravaged the mountain. A small portcullis stuck out of the mountain and the witch knew by instinct that this was the hideout of the Saxons. The guard looked at her with big eyes. It must have been rare for him to see anyone seek them out at all. They were feared by some of the outlying villages, she had gathered as much already. It didn't surprise her that the guard opened the portcullis before she reached it and she almost ordered him to bring her to Ruadan.

Morgana stood in a great hall of sorts. Some of the men had gathered here for a drink and a game of dice. There were few women and it was possible that not all of them liked the weather or the altitude of their camp. The guard told her to wait and she scrutinized the druids. It came as a surprise that the guard did not leave the room to fetch Ruadan. Morgana had expected a muscular warlord, sitting on a throne and drinking wine or ale. Ruadan, it seemed, was not muscular at all. She didn't know what he looked like and thus didn't see him playing a game of dice with his men.

The balding man, presumably Ruadan, approached her with the guard standing next to him.  
"Ruadan, I presume?" Morgana greeted him with a small, confident smile.  
"Morgana Pendragon, the _presumed_ last High Priestess."  
She didn't know why he said it the way he did but that didn't matter.  
"It is Morgana _Le Fay_ but that's beside the point. If you know who I am, then you know why I'm here."  
He no/dded and his demeanour towards was quite clear already.  
"You seek an army, we have no such thing."  
"I seek between fifty and a hundred disciplined men who can ride horses."  
Those numbers weren't staggering. They were actually quite manageable.  
"What exactly do you need them for?" The curiosity in Ruadan's voice was clear now.  
"Ambushing a small army in an open field." She said plainly.  
"Arthur Pendragon does not have a _small_ army." He criticized.  
"That's for me to worry about, not you."  
"They're _my_ men and I am responsable for every one of their lives."  
Morgana bit her lip in a smiling fashion as she rejoiced over the idea that just formed in her mind.  
"Have you ever heard of Emrys?" She asked.  
"According to the Catha, he's one of the most powerful sorcerers in Albion."  
"_The_ most powerful. He's also one of my allies."  
"Then what do you need us for?" Ruadan briskly replied.  
"Making sure no one survives."

**AN:**

We've got the pawns, now to put them in place.


	29. Final Preparations

**Final Preparations**

Merlin stood by the gates of the City of Caerleon, waiting for Morgana. Annis had agreed to a truce like Nemeth did. For a moment he feared that the Queen would refuse but he was glad she agreed in the end. A truce was a bit neutral which meant that it didn't _have_ to be a victory. If she really didn't care which Pendragon was to sit on the throne, then she wouldn't mind seeing them kill each other either.

Several days ago, Merlin received a raven with a note from Morgana. They had their army of druids and it seemed that some of them had a basic knowledge of magic. Throughout this little game, it was the raven Merlin liked most. The creature had found him in the middle of the woods without even knowing who he was. Ruadan must have used his magic as Morgana would never have sent the raven to Caerleon on the assumption of his success. Annis had given safe passage to the druids on the condition that they stopped plaguing her lands. The reply Merlin received from them was "_We'll plague Essetir instead"_, which amused Annis greatly.

At the sight of men on horseback at the end of the road, Merlin had the urge to run towards them. He had missed Morgana more than he thought he would but he couldn't let on how much he cared in case someone troublesome were to notice. The men did not stop when they reached him but remained on the road, heading towards Camelot. Fifty men had passed him by when Morgana finally came into view. She was riding next to an older man who looked like he was nearing the age of fifty and on her other side was a horse without a rider.

"Merlin." She greeted him with a small smirk as she and her companions stopped.  
"_This_ is Emrys?" Ruadan asked unimpressed.  
"Yes, I am." Merlin blatantly confirmed as he got up on his horse. "What were you expecting, an elderly, washed-up sorcerer?"  
The look on Ruadan's face betrayed exactly that but it did't show regret for saying it.  
"You've never heard of me, Ruadan. Word of my deeds has never travelled beyond Annis' lands. Once you know what I'm capable of, you'll stop underestimating me."

The leader of the Saxons did not appreciate being reprimanded by the _boy_ but because Morgana was not bothered by him at all - that smirk still lingered on her face. They began riding once more and soon they were nearing the border with Camelot.

"Morgana," said Merlin "we could make a detour to pick up your sister's relic. The Saxons can travel to Fyrien without us."  
The sorceress nodded. The 'army' could make themselves at home in Fyrien and they would join them the day after their arrival.  
Morgana turned to Ruadan. "Don't let Arthur's men see you or we'll have to move up our timetable."  
He nodded in agreement but that didn't mean he trusted them.

The witch's hovel had changed since she last visited. The scorched stone and moss did not bode well. Arthur's men must have set fire to it some time ago. The two sorcerers dismounted and Merlin sighed at the dilapidated hut.

"I'm sorry." Said Merlin.  
"It's alright." She replied.

Things were even blacker on the inside than the ruined stone on the outside. Morgana quickly found it, her sister's bracelet, black and bent out of shape. Merlin decided to stand back and not interfere as Morgana had a tendency to lash out when emotions ran high.

Her fingers caressed the bracelet on either side and Merlin felt sorry for her. It was the only thing of Morgause she still had. Its shiny silver surface had been blackened and broken by the flames. At some point she turned it around and held the bracelet with two hands. She seemed to polish it with one hand and then she froze. Morgana unexpectedly threw it away with both hands, making it a rather poor throw, and backed away from it in panic. Seeing Morgana move back on all fours, Merlin kneeled and she bumped into him. She turned around to grab him by his shirt. Morgana did not know when she started crying and neither did she care. The next moment of clarity was when she heard his voice.

"Vision?" He asked gently.

She sniffed and realised that his arms were around her. Her eyes felt a bit dry. How long had she been crying?

"I don't want it." She sobbed and Merlin assumed she was referring to the bracelet.  
"Is there anything else you want to take with you?"

She looked at him and silently stood up. As Morgana went through the rest of her belongings, Merlin examined the bracelet. He tried to mimic what she had done and his fingers lingered on a damaged spot. It took him a while to realise that it wasn't damage but that there was a carving on the inside. He removed his fingers from the spot and turned it around to get a good look at it. The carving was a symbol he had seen before. It wasn't the Rowan Tree of the Old Religion but something else. Rage and anger filled his heart but pity kept him from lashing out. Carved on the inside of the bracelet was a lightning bolt; the very same symbol that had corrupted him. Morgause had manipulated Morgana from the very beginning. He wanted to throw it against the wall and destroy what little was left of the bracelet but instead he put it back where Morgana had left it. Showing how angry Morgause's bracelet made him would do no good for Morgana's situation.

The Saxons had made their home in at the Castle of Fyrien long before Merlin and Morgana arrived. Ruadan had ordered one of his men to find out as much as possible about Merlin and his story was impressive. The Saxon leader had a newfound respect for the warlock, for Emrys. Having strong ties with the Old Religion, the Saxons also found out about the hidden war between Emrys and Morgana and that the latter did not who she was fighting. When he next saw the pair, Morgana seemed a bit put off and so did Merlin.  
"How were your travels?"  
"Surprisingly tiresome." Morgana replied as she and Merlin dismounted.  
The sorceress went inside the castle while the warlock took care of the horses.  
"Emrys?" Ruadan approached Merlin but he did not respond in any way.  
"Merlin?" On his second attempt, Ruadan succeeded to catch his attention. "Did something happen?"  
"We found a skeleton in the closet, it would be best to let it be."

They stayed at Fyrien and it was a luxury Merlin didn't mind having. Over the course of several days, many council meetings had followed in which Morgana and he explained their plan. Merlin's lips curved upwards slightly when she announced it with '_we have a plan_' rather than '_I have a plan_'. It was a very convincing plan that raised a few surprised but impressed eyebrows. Preparations had to be made. It was late in the evening when Merlin sat down with one of Ruadan's man to speak to him about the final preparations.

"Are the trebuchets ready?" Asked the warlock.  
"We've hidden them for the moment but we can build them back up within five minutes." Replied the Saxon.  
Speed was absolutely essentials in their plan.  
"Good."  
"It's a bit of a shame, isn't it? It's such a marvellous structure."  
Merlin smirked as he got up and replied. "Tell Orren to send the letters."

His last chore for the day was visiting Morgana. The past few days had eased a lot of tension between them. Merlin had learned that Morgana had been using _Emrys_ as a way of convincing Ruadan to join their cause. She had come to terms with the wool that had been pulled over their eyes by Kilgharrah and Morgause. He gently knocked on her door as he entered her room. She was talking with a sorcerer but after glancing at the warlock, she sent him away.

"How are the preparations coming along?" Asked Morgana.  
"Everything is in place. Orren should send the letters today."  
She nodded but it didn't seem to put her at ease. If anything, it seemed to make her more tense.  
"Are you alright?"  
"I'm both excited and nervous." She admitted.  
"Things will be fine." He tried reassuring her.  
"It's a gamble." Morgana countered.  
"You won't be in any danger."  
"But _you_ will."  
With a shy smile he replied "I always am."  
His almost-joke seemed to sadden her even more. Both of them were taking a gamble but she wouldn't be risking her life. He always did this, sacrificing himself for the sake of others and what did he want in return? For Arthur to die at his hands. It was near to nothing in her opinion. She valued him as a friend and did not shy away to show she wanted to reward him for it.  
"When all this is over, you can have anything you want." She stated.  
"Including your forgiveness?" He asked seriously.  
Her heart skipped a beat. Knowing that he still cared warmed her bones. The corners of those tempting red lips curved upwards into a shy smile, not a smirk, an actual smile.  
"Maybe you have my forgiveness already."  
Again he gave her that odd smile she couldn't place.  
"Goodnight, Morgana."  
"Goodnight, Merlin."

**AN:**  
Next chapter will have a lot of surprises and, of course, the simple but (IMO) cunning plot.  
I know that I could've expanded the final piece of dialogue but their romance will flourish soon enough.  
Finally, the 'odd smile' will be explained within the next two chapters.


	30. The Game of Kings and Queens

**AN: **

_Someone rightfully reminded me that it's been a very long time since I last updated.  
There really isn't any excuse for it._

_This is a double length chapter._

**The Game of Kings and Queens**

People were gathering in the courtyard, shouting. Arthur pinched the bridge of his nose. Did they not understand that what he was doing was in their best interest? Raising taxes did not make him popular but that wasn't what caused their outrageous behaviour. Helios had asked for payment for the services of his men and Arthur could barely afford it, meaning it would bleed the Kingdom dry in a month or two. The King did what was his right and had men collect debts from the people. The people of Camelot were allowed to owe the Kingdom a month's taxes but Arthur decided to collect prematurely and that was what set them off.

The King didn't know how to handle the situation. His father had faced minor rebels but never did his subjects become his enemy in this way. Arthur had tried being kind with his soft measures of punishment, he didn't understand why a bit of tax collection caused such an uproar.

"You, guards, get some crossbows from the armoury. I want to make sure nothing happens when I speak to them."  
The men did as they were told and an eerie feeling of familiarity troubled Sir Leon. The Knight-Commander had always been adamant in his belief that Arthur was a good and fair King and for the most part he still did, but '_fair_' didn't seem very appropriate anymore.

"Take aim." Said Arthur.  
Sir Leon couldn't stand for what was happening.  
"Sire, Morgana did something very similar to what you're doing now. Tell them to stand down before it gives the wrong impression."  
"Then I'll just have to make my intentions clearer to them."  
The Knight shook his head in disbelief but it shouldn't have come as a surprise. Uther was a good king but he ruled with an iron fist and it seemed that Arthur would be no different.

Before Arthur had the chance to make his speech, the doors opened to reveal a young man, a messenger, with a letter in his hand.  
"My lord, there is news from one of our agents in the north."  
"What did you find?"  
"We've intercepted a letter sent to Nemeth."  
Arthur snatched the letter from his hands and read.

_Dear Mithian,_

_The reason I am writing you this letter is that we may have need of aid in the near future.  
Morgana is travelling south to Odin's lands to gain an army with which we shall take Camelot but I  
fear he will betray us in the wake of the battle._

_Soon, you will receive another letter requesting aid and it is essential that you send it as soon as possible.  
Should there be complications already, you can send a letter to the Castle of Fyrien.  
I will be staying there for a few days to await your reply or catch up with Morgana should there not be one._

_Yours sincerely,_

_Merlin_

"Leon, tell the men to stand down and saddle the horses and that Helios will be coming with us. I've just found out where Merlin's been hiding out."  
Before leaving Camelot, however, Arthur took with him the only weapon he knew could kill magical creatures. He took with him the enchanted dagger that slew the Barghest.

* * *

The castle seemed abandoned at first sight but it didn't take many men to fortify a stronghold like Fyrien. Arthur decided that it might be better to split up and let Helios and his men take the secret entrance with Camelot's troops assaulting the front gate. It wasn't a real assault as nobody seemed to be home. Then again, Merlin's letter didn't exactly say he had an army.

It was only fitting that Arthur were to find Merlin where they fought Morgause and Cenred.  
"Make yourself at home, I'll have one of the servants fetch you some wine." Merlin mocked his noisy entrance.  
Arthur turned to Sir Leon. "Tell Helios to make sure we won't get flanked."  
The Knight nodded and left the King and two dozen soldiers in the presence of Merlin.  
"You're not getting away this time." Said the King of Camelot.  
"There's a first time for everything."  
"And this is where it ends."  
The warlock wasn't impressed by Arthur's bold words.  
"Those are a lot of men, Arthur. Do you truly fear me so much?"  
Arthur's nose turned in disgust and Merlin relished in his discomfort.  
"It's called 'strategy' and 'outnumbered'." The King of Camelot voiced the reasons why the sorcerer should cower before him.  
Merlin stood up and smiled, much to the King's dismay.  
"Being a fierce warrior does not make you a fierce strategist."  
"What part of 'outnumbered' don't you understand?"  
Merlin shook his head at the fact that Arthur didn't see that outnumbering wasn't strategy.  
"I'm curious. Why do you hunt me rather than Morgana?"  
"Because it's your fault Camelot is in turmoil, not Morgana's."  
The warlock revealed in the fact that he didn't see what truly plagued Camelot. Arthur didn't realise that the whispers were never meant for the people, they were meant for their King. People loved rumours but they would've died down by the next scandal if Arthur hadn't made himself exactly that.  
"Some King you turn out to be. Still, I haven't exactly left you alone, have I?"  
"No words in defence?" Arthur asked and a dark chuckle came from the sorcerer.  
"Why should I when you never listen?"  
"_Outnumbered_." Arthur repeated.  
"Perfect example. I speak of listening and you threaten with violence."  
"Are you too blind to see that you don't have a choice?"  
The sorcerer's smirk was something Arthur found an annoying trait he no doubt picked up from Morgana.  
"You assume too much, Arthur. You assume magic is evil whilst persecution is the only reason that they fight you. You assume you've cornered me because you've outnumbered me but you have no idea how powerful I am. This game we play is about more than swords and shields. It is the game of Kings and Queens. You assume you play it well since you are King but you are yet to realise that you are losing."  
"OUTNUMBERED!"  
Arthur's outburst caused Merlin's smiled to widen even more.  
"How about we settle this through a duel? With swords, of course."  
Arthur raised a confused brow at the sorcerer's challenge.  
"I won't use magic." The warlock reassured him.

It occurred to Arthur that if Merlin wanted to kill him with magic, he would've tried something by now. The King of Camelot motioned for one of his knights to hand him his sword, after which Arthur threw it towards Merlin who caught it.

The warlock swung the sword a few times to find the balance before giving Arthur his full attention.  
Arthur took the initiative with a fast strike which was quickly blocked by his opponent. With their swords still touching each other, Merlin stepped forward in an attempt to catch Arthur off guard and followed through with a lunge. The King of Camelot only ever taught his servant how to block and almost failed to deflect his attack.

They were standing opposite of each other again and both seemed to be waiting for the other to strike. It dawned on Arthur that Merlin might've learned more from their practice than he knew and found it a very unnerving idea.

Arthur raised his arm to strike down with force when Merlin suddenly took a step forward and swung his blade from his wrist. The King tried moving back but failed to do so in time. His armour was scratched but the blow was far too weak did to penetrate it. Merlin's sudden strike wouldn't have yielded any injuries unless Arthur had followed through with his attack.

Once more there was a short distance between them. Arthur took a very deep breath and stormed forward with a horizontal strike. Merlin thought he would have discouraged his foe but the opposite seemed to be the case. He tried to avoid Arthur's rapid attacks but despite his initial prowess, he was no match for his opponents superior skill.

The King of Camelot managed to disarm his former manservant, forced him against the wall and held his sword at his neck, with its point against the stone. Arthur's heart was pounding faster than it had ever done before.

"Any last words?" Asked Arthur with a nervous voice and hearing the blood pumping in his ears.  
Merlin, on the other hand, was extremely calm.  
"You're losing this war. If you're wise, you'll find yourself a new life." He said.  
"Wrong." Said Arthur and he finished his strike.

there was a tearing sound along with that of metal scraping against stone and something fell to the floor before starting to roll away. It took Arthur a moment to realise that no blood was flowing and that Merlin had been replaced by a decapitated scarecrow.

Arthur turned to his fellow soldiers. By now they had realised it had all been a trap and they were waiting for it to close. The answer came when a loud bang rang through the air and half the room was buried under rubble. Arthur found himself to be on the safe side of the room though he doubted it would be safe much longer. As he ran down the stairs, Arthur realised why Merlin didn't use magic in their duel. He wasn't actually there, he merely animated the man of straw.

Arthur reached the bottom of the stairs and ran out the front gate. In the distance he saw three trebuchets firing at the castle and he followed the projectiles. It was only now that he noticed that the siege had already torn apart half the castle along three-quarter of his army.

Far away from the siege on Fyrien was the great city of Camelot where small orbs of light travelled from the gates to the citadel's courtyard, beckoning the people to follow them.

A crowd was gathering and on the balcony appeared Morgana, dressed in burgundy, figure-hugging dress.  
"People of Camelot!" She shouted at the top of her lungs but still attempting to remain civil and in control.  
People were too much in shock to run and she didn't hesitate to continue her story.  
"Times have changed and we question what is wrong and what is right. I was wrong on that dreadful day where I demanded you allegiance and punished you for not giving it. It was when I saw Arthur's tyranny that I realised my mistakes."  
Merlin was convinced that without acknowledging her mistakes, the people would never listen to her, let alone truly accept her. When Uther came to power, he had ordered the scribes to change history in his favour. Morgana could have done the same thing but this speech would prevent such change. This speech would be remembered by the people and if they would accept her, it would only make her more remarkable.  
"Although I am heir to the throne, I don't want you to see me as Morgana Pendragon. I remember the days where I walked amongst you as Uther's ward. You showed me kindness and respect and during the famine, I returned the favour. Who I was then is not who I am now, but it is who I'm striving to be."  
There was mumbling amongst the growing crowd, they had not forgotten the famine.  
Morgana supressed the urge to smile and continued. "I want to be Morgana Le Fey, the woman who could be the Queen you deserve, the woman who would walk amongst you."  
Uther would have screamed in outrage if he were to hear her speech. To walk amongst commoners was unheard of for people of her station. The people of Camelot, however, seemed to like the idea. Arthur only seemed to show his face when he set out to hunt something.  
"What matters in the end is not what I want. It is what you, the people, want and deserve. I will not force myself upon you. I am offering you a choice."  
That was when the whispers became louder and louder.  
"I will be your Queen, as Merlin has promised, if you shut the gates when Arthur and his men return. Should you leave the gates open, Arthur will remain in power."  
This was what it all boiled down to, giving the people the illusion of having a choice. Arthur had made mistake after mistake. They were growing weary and fearful of him. If she had taken Camelot by force, one tyrant was merely replaced by another tyrant. But if their chosen leader replaced the tyrant, then the people would be victorious.  
"What's the difference, witch?!" Shouted a sceptical man.  
Morgana leaned forward on the balcony and replied:  
"Your taxes won't be spent on mercenaries looking for a single person, people will no longer be burned at the stakes for possessing magic, there will be no pointless wars with neighbouring kingdoms such as Nemeth but I _will_ put an end to Lot harassing the villages on the eastern border."  
The crowd became louder but no further questions were asked.  
"The choice is yours." Morgana announced as she went back inside the castle before leaving Camelot.

The die was cast.

**The Game of Kings and Queens** **- Part 2**

Merlin was eager to join the Saxon forces at the edge of the forest. He pulled the reigns of his horse bring it to a walking pace and his four companions, operators of the trebuchets, did the same. Some of the men in the camp recognized them and raised their mugs of ale.

After dismounting, Merlin was approached by Ruadan.  
"I'm glad to see my men in one piece." He noted.  
"No one told me they could operate the trebuchet solely with magic. They were firing faster than I had expected. Arthur's army is but a hundred men or so."  
Ruadan let out a self-satisfied chuckle.  
"Follow that path, take the third right and the second tent on your left is Morgana's."  
"Thank you."

Merlin followed Ruadan's instructions and knocked on one of the wooden poles that supported the tent before entering.  
"Hello?"  
Morgana was lying on her bedroll, reading a book and wearing the, in his opinion, breath-taking dress. The sorceress quickly got up from the ground and a smirk instantly appeared.  
"You're back. Is Arthur still alive?" She asked greedily.  
"I don't know." Merlin callously replied.  
Morgana frowned at him. It wasn't his mood that struck her as odd, it was simply the fact that he did not know. He _should_ know.  
"How can you not know?"  
"I... deviated from the plan. I wanted to best him at sword fighting and I didn't trap him inside." He admitted.  
"How could you?!" Morgana scolded him. "You go against our plan, against my wishes, and put yourself even more in harm's way!"  
He was supposed to trap him inside with his magic and get away so the trebuchets could bring down the castle on Camelot's King.  
"I didn't." Merlin tried to explain he was never in harm's way but Morgana heard something else instead.  
Something stung the warlock's cheek and it took him a moment to realise that Morgana had slapped him. He was about to reply when he turned back to her and saw the tears in her eyes.  
"I keep trying to tell you that you're more than a servant but it's as if you're not listening. You take risks you don't have to take and don't see what will happen if something were to happen to you."  
"You'd still have Camelot." He argued and got another slap for it.  
"THAT is EXACTLY what I mean. I want Camelot but not at the cost of the only friend I have."  
Merlin took a breath and decided to start with the details he had left out of his initial recap of his encounter with Arthur.  
"There is a spell-"  
Again Morgana raised her hand to hit him, thinking he was deviating from their argument, but Merlin caught it and pushed her against one of the support beams of the tent with one arm above her head.  
"**Listen.**" He cut her off before she could even begin. "I used a spell to animate a puppet with my consciousness. I didn't risk my life fighting Arthur, I _lessened _the danger."  
She looked away out of shame for hitting him when she did. Merlin loosened his grip on her arm and lowered it slowly to the point where he was actually holding her hand.  
"From this point on, I'm won't leave your side."

* * *

The sun was setting but the chaos caused by Morgana's speech had not died down. The people were divided by the choice they had been given and the first fights had broken out. The sight of violence in the streets was enough for Gwen to realise she should flee the city. Some of the castle staff knew she was close to the King and, depending on the winner, it would put her life at risk.

She had packed minimal supplies so she could leave before any attempt would be made to close the gates. On her way there, she noticed that the guards seemed to have become a third party in the almost-riots. There was the group that wanted to close the gates, the group that wanted to keep them open and finally the guards who tried to stop the riot on both ends but failing miserably.

Although it pained her heart to see her city in such conflict, she had to take care of herself outside the gates. All she could do was travel to a nearby village and wait for things to blow over. With horrid memories of Morgana's last reign, Gwen hoped Arthur would prevail.

As dusk became darkness, a large force of men emerged from the skirts of the forest and was moving towards the city. Arthur was glad to be on horseback but most of his, and Helios', men were exhausted. Helios himself, however, was nowhere to be found. Not long after the King of Camelot had escaped the ruins, he was glad to find himself face to face with Percival. Leon and Elyan were missing.

It had been a clever plan to lure them into the castle. The men had spread out inside the castle walls and for every man that was killed on impact, another would die by the debris. After a quick headcount, only seventy of them remained along with some of the horses.

Once they reached the city, there was some uproar at the front of their squad and Arthur moved forward to see what was the matter.  
"Is there a problem?" Asked the King.  
"The gates are shut and no one is answering."  
Arthur shouted but there came no reply. One of the Knights pointed into the distance and Arthur saw an army approach from the other ridge of the forest. The King of Camelot was speechless, exhausted and now afraid as well. The Saxon army was approaching.

"Archers, fire at will." Arthur commanded to the pathetic amount of six remaining archers.  
The rest of the remaining forces got in formation before he could even give a second command.  
Four things spelled their doom. One, their army was tired. Two, the Saxon army were fit. Three, the Saxon outnumbered them. Four, their backs were against the wall.

"Why are they carrying torches? The can't sack the city, can they?" Asked one of the soldiers.  
The horrific answer came with the fire that approached them faster than the men that 'carried' them. Balls of fire claimed the lives of the first few men. The Saxon had no need of archers, they had sorcerers. Arthur felt the fear, the hatred and the disgust his father had towards magic. It was a vile and dishonourable evil and he knew this battle could not be won. Without a word, Arthur hung onto one side of the horse and hit its rear to make it run. To the approaching Saxon army it would seem like the horse fled without its rider.

The armies clashed but it could hardly be called a battle. Helios' men fled the moment they realised that Arthur, the man who paid them, was gone. The loyalty of Camelot's own was strong but it didn't allow them to win the battle. Some died that night, others were captured and a rare few managed to flee.

The people within the walls had realised what had transpired before the closed gate and opened it when they noticed that the battle was over. The guards that had tried to keep the peace didn't know what to do and remained idle. The two sides that had fought over the gate didn't dare continue with the Saxon army so close. Some of Morgana's supporters even manage to cheer.

Merlin left Morgana's presence shortly after they entered the citadel and it allow Morgana to reacquint herself with the throne. She stroked the top of the chair and smirked as if greeting an old friend. Slowly she sat down and, just for a moment, that smirk became a smile. The Saxons had also left her presence to ensure order and safety. Merlin entered the room and grinned at the sight of it. The future Queen of Camelot was beaming with joy as she saw the crown in his hands. The warlock stood before her and bowed.  
"May I approach, my Queen?" He asked as he held out the crown.  
"You may." She replied in a playful fashion.  
The warlock approached her as she kneeled before him. He placed the crown upon her head himself and then stepped back to enjoy the view. Morgana stood up and smiled, actually smiled. It felt right to see her like that. It wasn't the witch that stood before him but a woman with a heart who cared for her people. She never was a different person, she merely did what she had to in order to survive. Morgana stepped forward and brought her arms around him, hugging him.

He had given Camelot to her as he said he would. She had forgiven him for all he had done to her because he had given her what she wanted most.  
"Thank you." She whispered.  
Merlin gently placed his hands on her back and returned her hug.

**AN:**

Lay siege to your own castle, that was the actual plan :p. I mean, why have a person bring Mithian a letter when he could've used a crow like Ruadan? All part of the bloody plan.

*spoiler below*

*look away now*

Leon, Elyan and Percival are not dead.


	31. Queen of Hearts

At shell22: I'll make it up to you in the next chapter (not this one yet).

**Queen of Hearts**

The night of conquest had passed. Ruadan and his Saxon troops held a higher rank than the city guard and they were surprisingly noble and honest for outlaws. Early in the morning, Merlin, Morgana and Ruadan had a disagreement in the throne room.

"Emrys, you can't be serious." Argued Ruadan.  
"I am, and don't call me that."  
Morgana sided with Ruadan, "We don't owe them anything, least of all Arthur's soldiers. "  
"Don't you see that this is where you have to _be different_?"  
" '_Lower the taxes', _done. _'Protect the eastern villages'_, Ruadan agreed to do that. I've done everything I said I would."  
"Arthur was the tyrant King, make yourself the merciful Queen. I know how to prevent attacks. Arthur's soldiers are more than _just _soldiers. Every single one of them is son to a mother and a father. Some of them have wives and children who all live within the city. You can't condemn them for what Arthur _made them do_."  
Morgana didn't like the fact that he had a point. She wanted to be a strong ruler but that was what both Arthur and Uther called themselves and it was what Morgause told her to be. Two of them were dead and the third just lost his throne. Rather than taking the decision herself, she turned to Ruadan for a counter-argument.  
"He does have a point." Said Ruadan.  
"If you can _guarantee_ me that no one will try to kill me, fine, make the arrangements."  
"Thank you." Merlin grinned a bit at this little victory.  
"Does this conclude our business for the day?" Asked Ruadan.  
"Yes, it does." Replied Morgana.  
Ruadan left the room but Merlin remained.  
"Thank you," repeated Merlin "I know you rather not have people tell you what to do."  
"It ended well last time. Also, get yourself something nice to wear. You're not a servant anymore." The fact that he still looked like _Arthur's_ servant annoyed her constantly.  
"I'll be off then. I haven't visited Gaius yet."  
"I still need a handmaiden." Remarked Morgana.

The door to the physician's quarters opened with a loud creaking sound. It did not surprise Merlin that his mentor was there.  
"It's good to see you alive and well, my boy." Said Gaius as he got up.  
"No thanks to you." Merlin brutally replied.  
The young warlock had not forgotten about his mentor's inaction during his execution and his mother's imprisonment. It saddened Gaius to see his former ward in such a dark demeanour.  
"I know we've let you down but I don't believe this to be the right course of action."  
It was obvious that the old physician was referring to Morgana and it stung the warlock. The people made their choice and it was Morgana.  
"Did you tell Arthur that as well?" Merlin was referring to his mother's kidnapping.  
"We all make mistakes-"  
"Please," Merlin mocked him. "If you could go back in time, you wouldn't change a thing. You can't call it a _mistake _because it's so much more than that. You made the _wrong decision _and you don't even _see _it, do you?"  
"When was loyalty the wrong decision? You used to believe in Arthur, Merlin. Though it is true that he needs guidance, he has a big heart which can be kind and generous." Gaius spoke with conviction but it only fed the darkness that had recently been awoken in the warlock's heart.  
"Uther committed genocide, Arthur's obsession may spark another one and you speak of _loyalty_? You chose Uther over _all_ sorcerers. You chose him over Nimueh, Balinor, Vivienne, you even chose him over Alice."  
"His death would have left the realm in chaos." The survivor of the Purge tried to defend his actions.  
"And lining up sorcerers for execution is the _order_ you prefer?!" He taunted the old physician.  
"You weren't there!" Gaius rebuked.

Merlin didn't understand how Gaius could deal with what he had done. Uther's genocide spared no one. The old, the young and even the unborn had been murdered during the purge. Gaius might have _saved_ Balinor and Morgause but that wasn't the word Merlin would have used. He sooner thought Gaius had _spared_ them because he could have stopped the killing in an instant. The warlock knew he himself wasn't innocent either but that had nothing to do with the Purge. Men had died for Morgana's victory, both good and bad. Merlin couldn't care less about them but then he didn't pretend to care about them the way Gaius did about his kin.

The warlock leaned forward a bit and softly replied.  
"Be glad that I wasn't."

On the other side of the castle, Morgana observed the women that either already served in the castle or had applied for a position there. Not everyone was thrilled to see the change in management and wished that they had left the city before it had.

"If any of you don't want to be my handmaiden, you may leave now."  
This prompted the departure of almost everyone in the room. Only three candidates remained. Morgana asked all three why they want the position.

The first candidate was a bit plump and slightly older than herself.  
"I've worked here for a while and I've always wanted to show my talents." answered the first candidate.  
"Which are?" Inquired Morgana.  
"I can cook very well and I even know how to milk a cow."  
Clearly this woman was part of the kitchen staff since these 'talents' were practically a description of her current job and quite useless for the position she was applying for.  
"Can you ride a horse?" Asked Morgana.  
"Ehm... No. My father-"  
"Is irrelevant." Morgana finished for her. "If you have no other useful skills to add, I'll have to say no."  
The woman looked at her feet in resignation and the Queen moved on to her next candidate.

The second candidate was younger than Morgana but the Queen could tell she came from a more wealthy family by the patterns on the dress she wore.

Morgana repeated her initial question to her.

"Because I believe in your cause, that magic should be returned to Albion." said the second candidate.  
This woman was so upbeat and eager that it almost annoyed Morgana already.  
"What skills do you have?"  
"I can read and write, I'm familiar with the Kingdoms of Albion and I can ride."  
Morgana internally summarized it as 'correspondence' before moving on to the third and final candidate who was visibly lower class. The third candidate's dress was simple and Morgana could see a thin line where the fabric had been sewn together.

"And why do you want the position?" Asked Morgana.  
"Because it's the place where I can be most useful to you."  
"Useful how?"  
"I am a druid and therefor I know druid culture. I have no fear of magic and within our community I have learned to read and write."  
Morgana liked the fact that she was a druid but that didn't mean she would automatically get the job.  
"There are more Kingdoms in Albion than there are druid tribes. Why should I chose you over her?" Morgana was testing her.  
"Living in a druid community means learning to contribute to it. I've learned how to sew, how to hunt for rabbits and identifying useful herbs. I also know how to ride _and _saddle a horse."  
Morgana did not question most of her story but there was one thing she wanted to put to the test.  
"How would I cure someone who has been poisoned by the Morteaus flower?"  
"That's not a herb, but I believe you could use an extract from the very same plant."

Morgana smiled at the candidate.  
"What is your name?" Asked the Queen.  
"Sefa."  
"Well, Sefa. You may call yourself my new handmaiden from now on."

Several hours later, Morgana found Merlin on the battlements, staring at the garden.  
"I've been thinking about adding some more useful plants." Morgana attempted to make polite conversation.  
"Sounds good." He replied absent-mindedly.  
"Merlin, is something the matter?" Asked Morgana.  
"I spoke with Gaius."  
There was a pause in which Morgana only looked at him. She wasn't smiling or angry or sad though she could tell there was going to be bad news. She just looked at him, listening and waiting for him to carry on.  
Merlin continued his story, "We began bickering straight away. He couldn't wait to criticize my choices and didn't dare say a word about my mother. He doesn't even seem to regret his _inaction_."  
Morgana considered offering punishment for Gaius but being aggressive with Merlin didn't usually work out all that well.  
"Are you alright?"  
He took a deep breath and answered, "No, I'm not."  
It was clear to her what Merlin needed though he might not see it himself.  
"You're not going back." She said.  
Merlin gave her an odd look since he didn't know what she was thinking.  
"I'll have one of the guest chambers prepared for you until we find you more suitable quarters."

It was late in the evening when Merlin heard someone knock on the door. The warlock used his magic to open it from the chair he was sitting on.  
In the doorway stood Morgana with a decanter of red wine.  
"Care for a nightcap?" She asked.  
Merlin couldn't keep himself from smiling which Morgana took for an invitation.  
"I thought you'd have planned a feast by now." Said Merlin.  
"Arthur has drained the coffers. I told the staff to watch what they spend and I will do the same."  
She noticed him looking at her with that odd look of his.  
"I've seen that look before and I still don't know what it means." Said Morgana.  
Merlin was confused for a moment, probably not even realising he was making a face, but he did know what caused it.  
"It's pride. I'm proud of you because you rule not with fear, but with compassion. It makes you more than Arthur, it will make you Queen of their hearts."  
_Pride_. It had been a long time since anyone had been proud of her. Morgause said it because she was using her, Uther once said it because it was expected of him and the pride Gaius showed was merely a mask as he whispered lies into Merlin's ear. Merlin was just a little bit different from them. He didn't simply say '_I'm proud of you_' and stop there. He showed his admiration, he called her _Queen of their hearts_. The 'look' being pride was reflected by the past. He had looked at her like that when she hid Mordred and then again when he was recovering from escaping from Camelot with her.  
"Do you like your temporary quarters?" Asked Morgana.  
"Yes. I needed some space from Gaius. The more I think of him, the less I understand why I followed him so blindly."  
"Maybe you've outgrown him."  
"What do you mean by that?" He asked curiously.  
"He still sees you as his ward and apprentice. He wants to protect you but you've grown in his absence. You're making your own decisions and it's caught him off guard. He isn't ready for it."  
His mind was absent for a moment and Morgana knew something plagued his mind when he closed his eyes and shook his head.  
"What's wrong?"  
"Gaius claimed that it was too dangerous for me to share my magic with you." He wanted to say more but Morgana stopped him there.  
"Merlin, you don't have to-" She wanted to make it clear that none of that mattered anymore, they had talked about it before, but that was not what Merlin meant.  
"No, listen. It's important." He insisted. "Gaius always told me what to do. He _told_ me not to get too close to you. When I look at things now, he couldn't be more wrong. You tell me what I _could_ do, rather than what I _should_ do, you even defend his behaviour. Sometimes it feels like you treat me more as an equal than he ever did."  
His words left Morgana speechless. All she had done was listen to him and try not to agitate him. Their friendship grew and the latter became 'being considerate'. Before their adventure began, she planned to use him as a pawn. Now that they had won the battle, he became a frend rather than a pawn and she preferred it this way.  
"I heard one of the servants mention you were leaving." She replied in a sad tone of voice.  
"Arthur's still out there, somewhere."  
"I'm sorry we didn't capture him." Morgana apologized and Merlin chuckled at his short-sighted demand.  
"It pales in comparison to what we've achieved. I'm leaving at dawn to look for him."  
_Dawn?!_ Panic rose in Morgana's mind and she immediately replied. "You could... stay."  
Merlin blinked in confusion.  
"What brought this on?" He asked.  
"You." She answered bashfully. "It's you that conquered Camelot and it's clear to me that you didn't even need my help."  
"As you would have succeeded in my absence."  
"You could have let me die at Arthur's hand and taken this Kingdom as your own."  
"I've made too many mistakes to think of myself as a good King."  
"You've made them up to me." Replied Morgana.  
"Thank you. You have no idea how much that means to me."  
She was glad that he felt appreciated.  
"Should you choose to stay, I'd like you to be my advisor. Officially, that is."  
"Seen my past-"  
"No. **Stop **this self-pity. _You_ helped me win the heart of the people. _You_ showed me the power of diplomacy. The mistakes _we_ made were because of our secrets. If we are honest with each other, I don't see how it will go wrong."  
"There's no arguing with you, is there?"  
"So you accept?"  
"Yes, I do."

**AN:  
**Next up: romance


End file.
